Hahaha hilarious edits and great translation as always, though one nitpick "...and he took your own life" is a bit of a strange way to say that, since usually we talk about "our own" or "my own" - "your own" here sounds a bit non-standard.
Sure, people use it as a command, like "go live your own life" etc., but something about "he took your own life" rings a bit strange for me. I think it makes more sense to say "he took your life".