Editing isn't bad for how few works you've done, but there's some things that were bothering me
You far too often put ellipses on a separate line even when there's space to place them, I suspect this is because you use box text with not a big enough border, causing PS to mess with the text shape, to which should be more akin to an egg shape (not always applicable so go with box or diamond in certain cases, editor's judgement for these
RIri's casual font is a bit messy and its leading is open, I'd suggest something similar to Mai's speech font
For redrawing I would say to practice and attempt ones that are mainly lines, screentones are annoying and take some tricks to get right to I'd suggest fiddling with those whenever you want them to look better