Anata ga Shitekurenakute mo - Ch. 49
- Thread starter MangaDex
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Does he even like her? Cause from the flashbacks looks like she was willing and around, those being all the factors needed - no wonder he cheated so easily, he was never invested in the relationship from the start.
Seriously y'all need a divorce.
Seriously y'all need a divorce.
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Sometimes I wonder if anyone in those comments was actually in a long term relationship and know, how feelings and dynamics change. They were together for around 10 years. If they weren't happy to at least some degree, they would have split long ago. In the context of their whole relationship, 2 years is not really that big amount of time, especially at the age of 32/34. I'm sure I've just had my 30th, and I'm 35 already, time flies, you don't even know when. 2 years is nothing, especially for people who are more passive with their relationship. It's also pretty fixable if they can get over the mutual cheating thing that is.
Claiming You never loved Michi just because it doesn't fit in your shonen romance manga kind-of-love mold is plain wrong. For some people love and happiness can be just in feeling comfortable with each other. It doesn't need grand gestures, dramatic confessions, or any of that stuff. Sometimes you just enjoy her company when she watches you play a game. Or quietly watching over her shoulder while she does something she enjoys. Their relationship worked for around 8 years, so they must have been fine with the dynamic they had.
I also don't get throwing feelings like hate around, when none of the characters are really hatable, with their side also presented. I mostly feel pity and relate to a lot of doubts and struggles they have.
Claiming You never loved Michi just because it doesn't fit in your shonen romance manga kind-of-love mold is plain wrong. For some people love and happiness can be just in feeling comfortable with each other. It doesn't need grand gestures, dramatic confessions, or any of that stuff. Sometimes you just enjoy her company when she watches you play a game. Or quietly watching over her shoulder while she does something she enjoys. Their relationship worked for around 8 years, so they must have been fine with the dynamic they had.
I also don't get throwing feelings like hate around, when none of the characters are really hatable, with their side also presented. I mostly feel pity and relate to a lot of doubts and struggles they have.
@AkodoRyu I think you forgot the fact that the first few chapter Yu flat out rejected Michi. He refused to be intimate with her and told her in her face that it's all her fault because she's not attractive enough to make him hard (while Yu himself never bother to shave or dress up for her, he always looks unemployed and homeless). Yeah so apparently he "loves" her but he takes her for granted and treats her no better than a housekeeper. Their relationship can last that long only because Michi tried her hardest to make it work.
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@reijou
I really can't be bothered to re-read early chapters now, sorry.
Relationships don't last for 10 years because one person is "doing their hardest to make it work". Again, Michi knew from the very beginning that she will be a more active party in the relationship and if she didn't accept that, they would be done within 2 years tops. Or within a few months of moving in together.
As to lack of intimacy - it's not an uncommon issue for relationships that are at that stage and it also doesn't mean that what You said was actually true. He obviously seems to have some stress/depression-related ED issues, as we've seen in later chapters, and might just be projecting his insecurities on Michi (instead of accepting himself as the problem, he lashes out on her, saying that he can't get it up because of her). Is it kind of a shitty thing to do? Sure. Doesn't make him a "bad guy", it just shows that he doesn't know how to deal with it. If his anxieties reached the point when they are affecting his physical performance, then they might also have a big impact on his libido too, especially when confronted with Michi's expectations. It's honestly a really tough issue to deal with, without a lot of communication and likely professional help (waiting for "but he fucked Mishima" comments when it's a completely different situation).
There is not much evidence IMHO to suggest maliciousness from You's side. Taking your partner for granted is kinda the default for many/most people in 10+ years-long relationships. At this point, they feel like they were always together, it just feels normal. And that might create some of the issues we see in this story, especially when other problems pile up on top of that. I can see, considering both of their characters, why Michi is doing most of the housework. She is not the kind of person to ask for help, and he is not the kind to offer (or she might even refuse - I sometimes have to almost rip stuff out of my partner's hands to do it instead of her, because she just keeps saying "it's fine, just chill, I'll do it"). And thus a specific status quo is formed over the years. Doesn't make anyone a bad person, it just how it ends up sometimes. And then no one really cares to change it, until it becomes a sticking point in some other, bigger fight.
And if he didn't shave, he would have a beard within a week. He shaves daily, just not clean shave, probably with an electric shaver. Since he was fairly popular in college, we can assume that he has an attractive face + longish, kinda messy hair, and something like a 5 o'clock shadow going on. He's also tall. All of those might be considered attractive features. The worst part about his looks is likely his posture.
I really can't be bothered to re-read early chapters now, sorry.
Relationships don't last for 10 years because one person is "doing their hardest to make it work". Again, Michi knew from the very beginning that she will be a more active party in the relationship and if she didn't accept that, they would be done within 2 years tops. Or within a few months of moving in together.
As to lack of intimacy - it's not an uncommon issue for relationships that are at that stage and it also doesn't mean that what You said was actually true. He obviously seems to have some stress/depression-related ED issues, as we've seen in later chapters, and might just be projecting his insecurities on Michi (instead of accepting himself as the problem, he lashes out on her, saying that he can't get it up because of her). Is it kind of a shitty thing to do? Sure. Doesn't make him a "bad guy", it just shows that he doesn't know how to deal with it. If his anxieties reached the point when they are affecting his physical performance, then they might also have a big impact on his libido too, especially when confronted with Michi's expectations. It's honestly a really tough issue to deal with, without a lot of communication and likely professional help (waiting for "but he fucked Mishima" comments when it's a completely different situation).
There is not much evidence IMHO to suggest maliciousness from You's side. Taking your partner for granted is kinda the default for many/most people in 10+ years-long relationships. At this point, they feel like they were always together, it just feels normal. And that might create some of the issues we see in this story, especially when other problems pile up on top of that. I can see, considering both of their characters, why Michi is doing most of the housework. She is not the kind of person to ask for help, and he is not the kind to offer (or she might even refuse - I sometimes have to almost rip stuff out of my partner's hands to do it instead of her, because she just keeps saying "it's fine, just chill, I'll do it"). And thus a specific status quo is formed over the years. Doesn't make anyone a bad person, it just how it ends up sometimes. And then no one really cares to change it, until it becomes a sticking point in some other, bigger fight.
And if he didn't shave, he would have a beard within a week. He shaves daily, just not clean shave, probably with an electric shaver. Since he was fairly popular in college, we can assume that he has an attractive face + longish, kinda messy hair, and something like a 5 o'clock shadow going on. He's also tall. All of those might be considered attractive features. The worst part about his looks is likely his posture.
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So You is finally reflecting on their relationship and the dynamics of their relationship. Will have to see if it makes a difference in their relationship.
@AkodoRyu
Welp just wanna say for starter that you’re probably right about most readers, including me, not having experienced a long, ~10 years, relationship, but even considering your points, I do think he deserves the hate he’s getting.
As you said, You MUST have liked Michi or their relationship would’ve failed ages ago, but the main issue is his personality as a whole. You, from what we seen, is the type to go for what’s the most convenient. Ever since high school, he developed this personality, and from his past relationships, it’s confirmed that he’s pretty insensitive as well. I’m just assuming but there’s a very likely chance that all his past relationship weren’t ended by him but instead, by his partners. Like someone stated earlier, he’ll most likely think breaking up is too bothersome. Sure, Michi was somehow fine with this, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that You’s indifferent personality is really irritating. Even if Michi’s fine with this, it’s not wrong of the readers to point out his huge flaws, and it’s not like Michi wouldn’t want You to be a better husband.
Also to your other point, yes, Michi barely demanded anything from You but when she did, like during her promotion exam last year, You did nothing. Sure, you can make the argument that Michi didn’t actually ask You for help, but she was clearly over stressed and told You about the exam. They may have developed a status quo in a long relationship, but when You’s so insensitive that he didn’t even notice Michi’s struggles and just shrugged off her outburst, he deserves the hate. And the fact he didn’t even realize how much Michi’s changed in these past few months just further shows his unlikable personality. You doesn’t have to help around the house or be overly affectionate, but the very least he could do is pay attention to Michi. It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon or brain scientist to figure out why they were having so many arguments lately.
As for You’s lack of intimacy, I don’t think ED can explain his lack of intimacy starting 2 years ago. He became over stressed because Michi was “demanding” it from him. In these 2 years, Michi completely carried this relationship, and even if 2 years doesn’t account to much, You still burdened Michi for 2 WHOLE YEARS. I can’t speak from personal experience, but for my partner to suddenly stop showing intimacy after a long relationship for even just 1 year would be so painful. Unless there’s a actual reason for the lack of intimacy, the subtle message it carries is huge. In Niina’s case, he even doubted whether Kaede loved him or not. Sex may just be activity for You, but for Michi, it’s probably one of the only times You’s shows his full affection. The fact is he never considered Michi’s wants until Michi finally spoken up. He may not have purposely avoided Michi, but it doesn’t take much to just fulfill your wife’s needs and show her some love (talking bout during 2 year span).
Welp just wanna say for starter that you’re probably right about most readers, including me, not having experienced a long, ~10 years, relationship, but even considering your points, I do think he deserves the hate he’s getting.
As you said, You MUST have liked Michi or their relationship would’ve failed ages ago, but the main issue is his personality as a whole. You, from what we seen, is the type to go for what’s the most convenient. Ever since high school, he developed this personality, and from his past relationships, it’s confirmed that he’s pretty insensitive as well. I’m just assuming but there’s a very likely chance that all his past relationship weren’t ended by him but instead, by his partners. Like someone stated earlier, he’ll most likely think breaking up is too bothersome. Sure, Michi was somehow fine with this, but that doesn’t take away from the fact that You’s indifferent personality is really irritating. Even if Michi’s fine with this, it’s not wrong of the readers to point out his huge flaws, and it’s not like Michi wouldn’t want You to be a better husband.
Also to your other point, yes, Michi barely demanded anything from You but when she did, like during her promotion exam last year, You did nothing. Sure, you can make the argument that Michi didn’t actually ask You for help, but she was clearly over stressed and told You about the exam. They may have developed a status quo in a long relationship, but when You’s so insensitive that he didn’t even notice Michi’s struggles and just shrugged off her outburst, he deserves the hate. And the fact he didn’t even realize how much Michi’s changed in these past few months just further shows his unlikable personality. You doesn’t have to help around the house or be overly affectionate, but the very least he could do is pay attention to Michi. It doesn’t take a rocket surgeon or brain scientist to figure out why they were having so many arguments lately.
As for You’s lack of intimacy, I don’t think ED can explain his lack of intimacy starting 2 years ago. He became over stressed because Michi was “demanding” it from him. In these 2 years, Michi completely carried this relationship, and even if 2 years doesn’t account to much, You still burdened Michi for 2 WHOLE YEARS. I can’t speak from personal experience, but for my partner to suddenly stop showing intimacy after a long relationship for even just 1 year would be so painful. Unless there’s a actual reason for the lack of intimacy, the subtle message it carries is huge. In Niina’s case, he even doubted whether Kaede loved him or not. Sex may just be activity for You, but for Michi, it’s probably one of the only times You’s shows his full affection. The fact is he never considered Michi’s wants until Michi finally spoken up. He may not have purposely avoided Michi, but it doesn’t take much to just fulfill your wife’s needs and show her some love (talking bout during 2 year span).
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Oh, so it’s always been like this. Yikes. I don’t know how to feel now knowing that You’s lack of commitment to their relationship spans their entire relationship 😬😬
But to give him some credit, maybe he did put more effort into the relationship somewhere along the lines.
But yeah he just feels so lazy about their relationship. Like it barely matters to him :/ just bothers me
But to give him some credit, maybe he did put more effort into the relationship somewhere along the lines.
But yeah he just feels so lazy about their relationship. Like it barely matters to him :/ just bothers me
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There is a term called “ settling” where as you become “comfortable “ in a relationship so long where you accept anything wrong with it because you’ve become used to the person so long and afraid of changing.
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Uwahh okay I already didn't like him but this chapter plummeted my opinion of You.
I hate people who sit back and let others do the work for them. What a lazy, unmotivated manchild. He's just content to have Michi around doing all the housework, doting on him, wanting him, and he's just going to be a slime mold and contribute nothing whatsoever.
I hate people who sit back and let others do the work for them. What a lazy, unmotivated manchild. He's just content to have Michi around doing all the housework, doting on him, wanting him, and he's just going to be a slime mold and contribute nothing whatsoever.
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I don't think I can hate You more than I do now, did he ever love Michi? Because from what we have seen of him it doesn't seem so, he just started dating her because she confessed to him, and he decided to go with the flow, he married her most likely to make his parents happy, because as his sister said he didn't want that responsibility, and Michi has such a low self-esteem and probably fear of rejection that only complained to him at her breaking point, and even now he only cares about himself and doesn't really seem to care how she feels about their situation. I really hope she leaves him soon.
@Tsuki09 @Sem @Genesis7478 @DaWeeb713 @Src5jaya @baboysai @Leomonade
fucking read chapter 36 againyou fucking judgemental pieces of shits to understand You-chan better. His whole worldview and character changed. He might have depression. He was actually a genuine guy
fucking read chapter 36 again
@Arkal97 well the author did potrayed You as a 'bad person' from the beginning. You can't blame them as judgemental, its just all those piled up of hatred (?) Or negative feeling that generated from all these chapter. I actually re read it because of you, but 1 chapter, 36, doesn't really change our mind. Sorry.
This is also why : I dislike those who goes the 'convenient' way for him without giving any fucking awareness about all the responsibility that comes with it.
This is also why : I dislike those who goes the 'convenient' way for him without giving any fucking awareness about all the responsibility that comes with it.
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As someone whom having 6years in relationship and 3years married. Everyone lack of communication. Sex is important, but communication is number one. For relationship to work, both party should have make some effort. You and Kaede lack the effort, they demand their partner to always understand yet never appreciate Niina & Michi effort to constantly row the ship. When You & Kaede realize the hole in the ship, it’s already too late, the ship will never be same again.
I hope Michi will divorce You and meet a better guy after she empower herself, but not Niina.
I hope Michi will divorce You and meet a better guy after she empower herself, but not Niina.
@Arkal97
I never said You can’t change as a character, and I reread 36. Sure, it shows You’s improving but doesn’t take from what he did in the past years. I admit that I have a huge bias towards You and probably overly hate him, but You improving now isn’t going to change what he put Michi through. It’s a matter of fact that his personality caused Michi tons of stress and negativity that made her extremely self-conscious.
Oh and I forgot to mention, but depression? That’s a stretch man. He’s overburden by Michi’s desire, but it hasn’t reach the point of depression. At the very least, he’s not severely depressed. He may be hiding some emotions inside, but unless there’s more signs, I wouldn’t say You has depression. It’s more that that’s just how he is normally.
I never said You can’t change as a character, and I reread 36. Sure, it shows You’s improving but doesn’t take from what he did in the past years. I admit that I have a huge bias towards You and probably overly hate him, but You improving now isn’t going to change what he put Michi through. It’s a matter of fact that his personality caused Michi tons of stress and negativity that made her extremely self-conscious.
Oh and I forgot to mention, but depression? That’s a stretch man. He’s overburden by Michi’s desire, but it hasn’t reach the point of depression. At the very least, he’s not severely depressed. He may be hiding some emotions inside, but unless there’s more signs, I wouldn’t say You has depression. It’s more that that’s just how he is normally.
