Dex-chan lover
- Joined
- May 13, 2023
- Messages
- 380
Have this here because I don't want to drop harem from the list XD
While I do agree about the test, there's also the issue of many self-sabotaging their own production of test, through their habits and lifestyle choices. (diet, sleep, etc.)
I would add, desire's don't require impulse first. Other than that, I get it. Although I disagree on subconscious, it's a bit of both.
Dreams, I'd say it's also a bit of both like desires XD.
My understanding is more desires are a feeling, dreams are an idea or the feeling put into a concept, given form.
I'd also say that people are slaves to their impulses AGAINST their desires, because they don't genuinely want where it goes, but the happy feel feels (false ones) they get, they choose to go with instead of fulfillment.
Sure they'll align here and there, but for the most part they use impulses to distract themselves from their desires. (hence it's self destructive, since a genuine desire most would have, is to live a decent life... which impulses prevent).
For the nicotine example... I don't know if you would desire nicotine, want it sure, but desire, dunno. Could just be habit, or longing for that familiar feeling, or even addiction.
On that btw, to my knowledge, it's better to replace and addiction, than to try and stop it with nothing. (obviously, should be something better for you XD ).
Like, a simple but stupid example, every time you feel like a cig, do some pushups. and I mean EVERY DAMN TIME! eventually you'll replace that habit with pushups... so instead people will just look at you strangely when you suddenly start doing pushups on the sidewalk
On love... I'd say most confuse infatuation with love... doesn't help that the media sells it as such. You don't "fall out of love" because that isn't love to begin with.
Love is in part a conscious choice of "I want to be with this person.", sure infatuation helps you get there, but if you never make that choice, you never actually moved into love.
Sounds like you started to though.
As for men though, a womans respect will always be more important than her love... which makes things easy because women tend to love those they respect. (And they stop loving those they don't respect, not saying this applies to your example though).
And this is a result of most going with the flow when it comes to their own emotions, rather than taking control and thinking about it... for like 2 seconds even.
People have stopped asking "Would I want to spend the rest of my life with this person" at the start of relationships now... and only ask months in, assuming they ever do ask... some don't.
When the whole point of dating is supposed to be based on that question.
I would add, desire's don't require impulse first. Other than that, I get it. Although I disagree on subconscious, it's a bit of both.
Dreams, I'd say it's also a bit of both like desires XD.
My understanding is more desires are a feeling, dreams are an idea or the feeling put into a concept, given form.
I'd also say that people are slaves to their impulses AGAINST their desires, because they don't genuinely want where it goes, but the happy feel feels (false ones) they get, they choose to go with instead of fulfillment.
Sure they'll align here and there, but for the most part they use impulses to distract themselves from their desires. (hence it's self destructive, since a genuine desire most would have, is to live a decent life... which impulses prevent).
For the nicotine example... I don't know if you would desire nicotine, want it sure, but desire, dunno. Could just be habit, or longing for that familiar feeling, or even addiction.
On that btw, to my knowledge, it's better to replace and addiction, than to try and stop it with nothing. (obviously, should be something better for you XD ).
Like, a simple but stupid example, every time you feel like a cig, do some pushups. and I mean EVERY DAMN TIME! eventually you'll replace that habit with pushups... so instead people will just look at you strangely when you suddenly start doing pushups on the sidewalk
On love... I'd say most confuse infatuation with love... doesn't help that the media sells it as such. You don't "fall out of love" because that isn't love to begin with.
Love is in part a conscious choice of "I want to be with this person.", sure infatuation helps you get there, but if you never make that choice, you never actually moved into love.
Sounds like you started to though.
As for men though, a womans respect will always be more important than her love... which makes things easy because women tend to love those they respect. (And they stop loving those they don't respect, not saying this applies to your example though).
And this is a result of most going with the flow when it comes to their own emotions, rather than taking control and thinking about it... for like 2 seconds even.
People have stopped asking "Would I want to spend the rest of my life with this person" at the start of relationships now... and only ask months in, assuming they ever do ask... some don't.
When the whole point of dating is supposed to be based on that question.
I wouldn't say either of us "Arrogantly Assumed" what the other meant, we just interpreted the information how we normally would, and when something doesn't add up, we clarify. Normally you have tone and such in a conversation, so it's harder to misunderstand things. Still very possible tho.
On the point of why they're mature... I'd actually disagree with "geniuses and mentally abused".
And would even argued abused are more likely to be immature, just not in the typical way.
Maturity would more so come, from how you are raised, most importantly how your parents treated you as well. Like if you're always treated as a child... are you going to mature?
Which is why the whole treating 14-17 as children, and then "Okay you're an adult now" when just yesterday they were still treated as a child, doesn't help... and is stupid. puberty isn't "developing children" it's "developing young adults". Or more accurately developing into an adult, so to treat them like that isn't what's happening... is honestly asinine imo.
Now of course it should be done within reason, no 13/14 year old should be going to clubs, not ever.
But they at least shouldn't have to raise their hand to ask a question, or have to ask to go to the bathroom.
You don't go from dependent to independent magically in one night as you turn 16/17/18 (depending on where you live, and culture).
Men used to have a rite of passage, usually around 14, where the dad is like "Son, you're a man now, do this hard masculine thing, and you are officially a man." and it would be something actually difficult, not impossible, just hard.
Back to maturity, another aspect, is how the parents themselves act, because children, watch what you do, more than they listen to what you say, and if the two don't match, they go with watching.
For example, imagine the difference, between treating them like a child 24/7, until 13, then treating them a little bit seriously, vs allowing them to be a child, but also at moments of maturity, you take them seriously, and encourage it, combined with having them help out, even getting them to do some work (like helping with the yard-work, or chores).
The difference is night and day.
A big mistake many parents make, is not having the children clean up after themselves, and their own mess. Why should you clean their room? get them to do it, or at least help out. And, no reward, the reward is they have a clean room now.
If you do want to reward them, reward them for their overall behavior, not a specific act. (unless it is something that genuinely stands out and should be rewarded). btw I don't mean don't tell them "good job" or "You're doing well, I'm proud", I mean reward as in money, or a treat etc.
Basically, parents need to stop raising children, and go back to raising adults. (i.e. raise children to be adults, not to be overgrown children).
And would even argued abused are more likely to be immature, just not in the typical way.
Maturity would more so come, from how you are raised, most importantly how your parents treated you as well. Like if you're always treated as a child... are you going to mature?
Which is why the whole treating 14-17 as children, and then "Okay you're an adult now" when just yesterday they were still treated as a child, doesn't help... and is stupid. puberty isn't "developing children" it's "developing young adults". Or more accurately developing into an adult, so to treat them like that isn't what's happening... is honestly asinine imo.
Now of course it should be done within reason, no 13/14 year old should be going to clubs, not ever.
But they at least shouldn't have to raise their hand to ask a question, or have to ask to go to the bathroom.
You don't go from dependent to independent magically in one night as you turn 16/17/18 (depending on where you live, and culture).
Men used to have a rite of passage, usually around 14, where the dad is like "Son, you're a man now, do this hard masculine thing, and you are officially a man." and it would be something actually difficult, not impossible, just hard.
Back to maturity, another aspect, is how the parents themselves act, because children, watch what you do, more than they listen to what you say, and if the two don't match, they go with watching.
For example, imagine the difference, between treating them like a child 24/7, until 13, then treating them a little bit seriously, vs allowing them to be a child, but also at moments of maturity, you take them seriously, and encourage it, combined with having them help out, even getting them to do some work (like helping with the yard-work, or chores).
The difference is night and day.
A big mistake many parents make, is not having the children clean up after themselves, and their own mess. Why should you clean their room? get them to do it, or at least help out. And, no reward, the reward is they have a clean room now.
If you do want to reward them, reward them for their overall behavior, not a specific act. (unless it is something that genuinely stands out and should be rewarded). btw I don't mean don't tell them "good job" or "You're doing well, I'm proud", I mean reward as in money, or a treat etc.
Basically, parents need to stop raising children, and go back to raising adults. (i.e. raise children to be adults, not to be overgrown children).
Bruv... 10-15kg is very visible O-o, like that's a solid 10-15% bodyfat increase if you 100kg.
I too have used the buddha joke XD
Although mine was "I'm rubbing the belly of buddha for good luck" while rubbing my own belly XD
I have to push out my belly now to do that one though, not enough fat anymore.
It's quite funny, I go from looking like I might not actually have much of a belly (especially with a shirt on), to homer simpson.
122kg is my all time high, reached 119 from 105kg at the start of the year, funny part is, I reached 119 while training hard XD
belly is half the size it was when I was 122kg though.
Got the strongman build atm. going for the calisthenic build.
Which on that, It's best to have a specific goal for what you are training for, not a "I want to look like x" sure that's nice to have, but you more want a "Be like x" kinda goal, where it's a constant thing you do.
Mine for the last few months was, "I want to gain muscle", but now I'm re-evalutating and going "I want to be mobile and have muscle" not just purely gain size.
But you want a specific goal you can work towards, and not be haphazard.
Anyway, back to the manga :S
Sounds like it has potential to be something good right?
I love how this section is called "the manga" but has been about fitness instead.
I too have used the buddha joke XD
Although mine was "I'm rubbing the belly of buddha for good luck" while rubbing my own belly XD
I have to push out my belly now to do that one though, not enough fat anymore.
It's quite funny, I go from looking like I might not actually have much of a belly (especially with a shirt on), to homer simpson.
122kg is my all time high, reached 119 from 105kg at the start of the year, funny part is, I reached 119 while training hard XD
belly is half the size it was when I was 122kg though.
Got the strongman build atm. going for the calisthenic build.
Which on that, It's best to have a specific goal for what you are training for, not a "I want to look like x" sure that's nice to have, but you more want a "Be like x" kinda goal, where it's a constant thing you do.
Mine for the last few months was, "I want to gain muscle", but now I'm re-evalutating and going "I want to be mobile and have muscle" not just purely gain size.
But you want a specific goal you can work towards, and not be haphazard.
Anyway, back to the manga :S
Sounds like it has potential to be something good right?
I love how this section is called "the manga" but has been about fitness instead.
