I thought it'd be okay with MTL after the last chapter, but whilst reading trough this one... Yeah, it's still bad. I'm really glad that someone decided to scanlate this series, as both girl-failures are adorable in how clumsy and clingy they are, however, it's really difficult to read since multiple sentences are quite confusing and I had to re-read several panels again and again to get the actual context and for them to make sense.
You should probably find someone who can freely speak English to help you proof-read and just slightly adjust the final translation before release. The translation itself seems to be fine and you're doing well on typesetting, it's just that the speech feels really awkward and MTL usually has issues with nouns, pronouns and verbs ending up sounding weird, i.e.: "
I guess this is the one that Shino picked out for me."(
Page 4) - doesn't really make sense in the context(it's the one I got stuck at the most while reading this), so if we just change it a bit into: "
I guess the kind that Shino will pick out for me." - it now sounds more natural and makes the panel before it and after it more comprehensible.
Either way, if you can't find anyone who'll be able to help, you can always try feeding parts of the script to any AI and see if it can make it sound more natural, though not as good as an actual translator, but I guess a machine might be able to change what was initially translated by another machine into something different and it might do some good, since it's no longer a direct rough translation, but instead a grammatical adjustment.