Wow, page 18 "unfair" moving into broken-hope and being symbolically left behind. Then into walking side-by-side with resolve and finally face-to-face honesty.
Wow wow wow. I love that we are exploring this progression/regression. I love that it shows a disgusting side "unfair", holding senpai's hand almost sadistically and then shows neutral elements, and positive elements.
The MC isn't forced into a single-dimension of being swept along, or ambivalent, or disgustingly sadistic. She has the human aspect of multi-dimensionality. A disgusting thought that becomes a sadistic action, but that thought doesn't define her, it's part of her. It's so much more realistic, it shows that disgusting traits are disgusting but they aren't ALL that a person is.