Casual chatting thread

[Sahkuh]

A review on the burial service of @Angry_Panda, @BakedBanana and @Robinisback.

1 star. Absolutely do not recommend.

I may be a ghost, but I still have standards. And let me tell you, this so-called burial service (which consists of only three employees) failed spectacularly to deliver even the bare minimum a decaying gentleman like myself expects on his final journey into the dirt.

For starters, they did not bury me in a coffin at all. I had to crawl out of my hole to use up whatever funds I had left to my name to buy myself a mahogany coffin and move it there all on my own.

And you know what else they didn't do at all? Embalm me. Do you know how fast corpses decay when they're left out in the sun with no coffin surrounding them and no embalming whatsoever? Very quickly. I could see my funeral attendees almost vomiting at the sight of my corpse. And guess who had to posthumously embalm my corpse? Myself. Again.

Speaking of my funeral, it was awful. One of the gravediggers (who I will not mention for the sake of privacy) kept tripping and dropping my corpse over and over, to the point that when it was finally put inside the 2 foot hole, its suit was caked in dirt. The other didn't even show up, possibly because of some accident involving a backhoe that was his fault.

The priest was okay; he was probably the only good part of my funeral. His speech, his mannerisms, his voice, they were just plain alright.

In conclusion: fuck this establishment (pardon my french), it was highly unprofessional and deeply humiliating for me and the rest of the dead souls who've been buried by them.

 

[MinecraftStoryModeLover]

@athayanezant

the insane athayanezant holds you at gunpoint

 

[Sahkuh]

@athayanezant

the insane athayanezant holds you at gunpoint

Doesnt look rabid enough

 

[DavidianMillerian]

 

[MinecraftStoryModeLover]

@athayanezant

the insane athayanezant holds you at gunpoint

How this battle works:
You can voluntarily sacrifice some of your own health. If you do so, she becomes less pissed off and more beautiful (she's a succubus here)
If you give her 15 of your HP, you can spare her. You'll eventually get that HP back.

 

[Angry_Panda]

A review on the burial service of @Angry_Panda, @BakedBanana and @Robinisback.

1 star. Absolutely do not recommend.

I may be a ghost, but I still have standards. And let me tell you, this so-called burial service (which consists of only three employees) failed spectacularly to deliver even the bare minimum a decaying gentleman like myself expects on his final journey into the dirt.

For starters, they did not bury me in a coffin at all. I had to crawl out of my hole to use up whatever funds I had left to my name to buy myself a mahogany coffin and move it there all on my own.

And you know what else they didn't do at all? Embalm me. Do you know how fast corpses decay when they're left out in the sun with no coffin surrounding them and no embalming whatsoever? Very quickly. I could see my funeral attendees almost vomiting at the sight of my corpse. And guess who had to posthumously embalm my corpse? Myself. Again.

Speaking of my funeral, it was awful. One of the gravediggers (who I will not mention for the sake of privacy) kept tripping and dropping my corpse over and over, to the point that when it was finally put inside the 2 foot hole, its suit was caked in dirt. The other didn't even show up, possibly because of some accident involving a backhoe that was his fault.

The priest was okay; he was probably the only good part of my funeral. His speech, his mannerisms, his voice, they were just plain alright.

In conclusion: fuck this establishment (pardon my french), it was highly unprofessional and deeply humiliating for me and the rest of the dead souls who've been buried by them.

On behalf of Ban & Pan Funeral and Commercial Excavation Services, I'd like to respond to this.

I want to start by reminding the readers that this customer is both (1) a serial murderer of children and (2) undead. Take what they say with that in mind - they are likely not the most reliable source of information.

We are not a charity, we are a business. No funds were provided by the estate of the undeceased for these services. There is a limit to what we are able to do gratis. Niceties such as 'embalming', 'coffins', and 'entirely covering the corpse with dirt' require time and labor, and while our proud union employees appreciate that most customers (not this one, mind you) are someone's dearly departed Gam-Gam or Paw-Paw, they cannot be expected to feed and house their families without pay.

The claim that 'funeral attendees were almost vomiting' is greatly exaggerated. At most, a couple of them gagged slightly. Any reports of a foul odor are clearly made up - even if there had been stank wafting off the body, it would have been covered up by the scent of our sister company next door (Ban & Pan Crematorium and BBQ Shack). And concerns about the semi-departed being dropped and dirtied are similarly exaggerated. We use the heaviest commercial trash bags available on the market today to keep our clients mostly intact and fairly clean until they go into their final resting holes.

We do appreciate the comments on our house Padre; once he is re-ordained, be sure and bring the kids out for our weekly Lunch & Learn blessing sessions, where they can get warded against evil spirits, learn about mortuary sciences, and eat all the sausages they care to. Fun for the whole family!

I'll close by asking you to consider Ban & Pan Funeral and Commercial Excavation Services for all your post-life needs.

Ban & Pan Funeral and Commercial Excavation Services - We Know You're Dying to Use Our Services.

 

[MinecraftStoryModeLover]

@Sahkuh

a vampire themed boss (it's a mini boss like athayanezant)
you can avoid the fight if you donated to the blood drive back in popstar plains, otherwise SAHKUH WILL TRY TO KILL YOU!!! and suck ur blood cuz a vampire or something...

 

[MinecraftStoryModeLover]

@Sahkuh

a vampire themed boss (it's a mini boss like athayanezant)
you can avoid the fight if you donated to the blood drive back in popstar plains, otherwise SAHKUH WILL TRY TO KILL YOU!!! and suck ur blood cuz a vampire or something...

to win: your soul turns BLOOD RED! You must protect yourself from damage, or else she'll slowly drain your health! Luckily, you now have a soul whip and soul stake. You can latch onto various projectiles and stake them. Your goal is to survive the whole battle as more and more bats flood the battle box. The big bat on the top right of the battle box is draining the box itself, so it "shrivels up" (becomes smaller) as the battle goes on longer and longer.

 

[Sahkuh]

the hair should be a bit longer though

 

[MinecraftStoryModeLover]

the hair should be a bit longer though

supposed to look as it does; slicked back like the old dracula.

 

[Sahkuh]

very nice

 

[BakedBanana]

A review on the burial service of @Angry_Panda, @BakedBanana and @Robinisback.

1 star. Absolutely do not recommend.

I may be a ghost, but I still have standards. And let me tell you, this so-called burial service (which consists of only three employees) failed spectacularly to deliver even the bare minimum a decaying gentleman like myself expects on his final journey into the dirt.

For starters, they did not bury me in a coffin at all. I had to crawl out of my hole to use up whatever funds I had left to my name to buy myself a mahogany coffin and move it there all on my own.

And you know what else they didn't do at all? Embalm me. Do you know how fast corpses decay when they're left out in the sun with no coffin surrounding them and no embalming whatsoever? Very quickly. I could see my funeral attendees almost vomiting at the sight of my corpse. And guess who had to posthumously embalm my corpse? Myself. Again.

Speaking of my funeral, it was awful. One of the gravediggers (who I will not mention for the sake of privacy) kept tripping and dropping my corpse over and over, to the point that when it was finally put inside the 2 foot hole, its suit was caked in dirt. The other didn't even show up, possibly because of some accident involving a backhoe that was his fault.

The priest was okay; he was probably the only good part of my funeral. His speech, his mannerisms, his voice, they were just plain alright.

In conclusion: fuck this establishment (pardon my french), it was highly unprofessional and deeply humiliating for me and the rest of the dead souls who've been buried by them.

On behalf of Ban & Pan Funeral and Commercial Excavation Services, I'd like to respond to this.

I want to start by reminding the readers that this customer is both (1) a serial murderer of children and (2) undead. Take what they say with that in mind - they are likely not the most reliable source of information.

We are not a charity, we are a business. No funds were provided by the estate of the undeceased for these services. There is a limit to what we are able to do gratis. Niceties such as 'embalming', 'coffins', and 'entirely covering the corpse with dirt' require time and labor, and while our proud union employees appreciate that most customers (not this one, mind you) are someone's dearly departed Gam-Gam or Paw-Paw, they cannot be expected to feed and house their families without pay.

The claim that 'funeral attendees were almost vomiting' is greatly exaggerated. At most, a couple of them gagged slightly. Any reports of a foul odor are clearly made up - even if there had been stank wafting off the body, it would have been covered up by the scent of our sister company next door (Ban & Pan Crematorium and BBQ Shack). And concerns about the semi-departed being dropped and dirtied are similarly exaggerated. We use the heaviest commercial trash bags available on the market today to keep our clients mostly intact and fairly clean until they go into their final resting holes.

We do appreciate the comments on our house Padre; once he is re-ordained, be sure and bring the kids out for our weekly Lunch & Learn blessing sessions, where they can get warded against evil spirits, learn about mortuary sciences, and eat all the sausages they care to. Fun for the whole family!

I'll close by asking you to consider Ban & Pan Funeral and Commercial Excavation Services for all your post-life needs.

Ban & Pan Funeral and Commercial Excavation Services - We Know You're Dying to Use Our Services.

Hey uh.. This is the guy who dropped the body a couple times. I see my business partner already threw out the business spiel so I'll keep it short and put this in the nicest way possible:
AYO WTF YOU SAY ABOUT OUR BUSINESS??? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW ALL OUR OTHER CORPSES DON'T COMPLAIN LIKE YOU! RIGHT @MANKO-SENSEI?! ARE YOU SURE YOU AREN'T THE PROBLEM? HUH? LIKE MY BUDDY HAS SAID, WE AIN'T NO CHARITY. WHY DON'T YOU GO DOWN TO MAKE-A-WISH IF YOU WANTED CHARITY?

 

[Edo4169]

Hey uh.. This is the guy who dropped the body a couple times. I see my business partner already threw out the business spiel so I'll keep it short and put this in the nicest way possible:
AYO WTF YOU SAY ABOUT OUR BUSINESS??? I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW ALL OUR OTHER CORPSES DON'T COMPLAIN LIKE YOU! RIGHT @MANKO-SENSEI?! ARE YOU SURE YOU AREN'T THE PROBLEM? HUH? LIKE MY BUDDY HAS SAID, WE AIN'T NO CHARITY. WHY DON'T YOU GO DOWN TO MAKE-A-WISH IF YOU WANTED CHARITY?

Why did i read it with Chinese accent 🤦🏻

 

[MinecraftStoryModeLover]

very nice

how you win:
haruhi batman shows up and saves you from being devoured!
(this directly segways into her date with you at McDonald's)

 

[BakedBanana]

Why did i read it with Chinese accent 🤦🏻

I was imagining this while writing that:

 

[Sahkuh]

how you win:
haruhi batman shows up and saves you from being devoured!
(this directly segways into her date with you at McDonald's)

kfc is fine too

 

[MinecraftStoryModeLover]

kfc is fine too

daily reminder that SAHKUH IS A PERVERTED LECHER!!

 

[Sahkuh]

nice of you to leave out the relevant context

 

[MinecraftStoryModeLover]

nice of you to leave out the relevant context

u keep asking for my NUDES you freek

 

[Sahkuh]

u keep asking for my NUDES you freek

Now you're becoming hysterical, calm down