I told, the slime doctor you didn't love me true!
I told, the slime doctor you didn't love me nice!
And then the slime doctor he gave me this advice
CURE!
EDIT: And to explain the "D&D cats are brutal" joke in true pedant fashion:
Up until 4e, but including 3.5e, Wizards only got a 1d4 hit die. That means that a level 1 wizard had 4 HP (1st level automatically takes the max result) plus his constitution modifier (which could also be negative, as was often the case with Wizards, especially Elves which had a preferred class of Wizard but a racial penalty on Constitution). A common housecat had a Base Attack Bonus of +4 and 3 attacks when fully attacking (Clawx2 and Bite). Since per the rules a successful attack would always do a minimum of 1 damage and the cat, with its high Dexterity (not to mention a racial bonus to Stealth), was far more likely to go first in combat, that meant that an unlucky Wizard or commoner that pissed off a cat could be effectively one-rounded before getting to do anything.