I have an issue with the art.
The way the backgrounds look and how the author makes the poses makes it hard to get engaged. Sure, the girls he draws are cute, but the simplistic backgrounds heavily toned feel kinda disjointed from his rough style on humans. It's like two different people who couldn't agree on how the manga should look worked aimlessly at making this come to life.
There's something bad about the composition as well. I would say it's stiff, a bit restrictive. The panels themselves don't feel like they flow into each other, rather they just live in their own world without any care for what comes next or after. For example, page 6 of chapter 3 has one of the girls jumping at the mc from the right to the left, but the next panel shows his reaction from the opposite angle, making the it seem like it was someone else watching him get pushed instead. It doesn't help that the next panel shows him sitting against the wall, but nothing about the previous indicates he had been thrown there; if anything, the panels above would indicate he was still standing.
The author also doesn't make the speech bubble point at who is speaking, so you end up associating the lines to the wrong person, forcing you to double check the lines to make sure you get who is speaking correctly, which breaks the already broken flow even further!
Seriously, I have failed multiple times at getting my manga approved by manga magazines, and every time I take the feedback from editors at heart and try to improve my art, composition, flow and pacing to make sure I have something engaging and easy to read. It really pisses me off hat this got serialized with this amateurish level of composition!
@MarvN I can see why. I also worked on manga translation in the past, and this one seems like a particularly bad one to work on.