Dame Ningen no Aishikata - Vol. 4 Ch. 22 - The Loser, The Girlfriend and Growth

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Oh man this was a great arc and it's because it's so bittersweet. I like how in the end there is a sadness to the older sister growing up and no longer needing Shinba. The former is a good thing, but it does also lead to the latter. She was a useless good for nothing who heavily relied on her little brother (in a lot of ways they relied on each other) and that led to a codependency. She also did unfortunately not have a proper adult around to teach her how to become a proper adult. So it's not like who she was beforehand was good or came about due to good circumstances, but it is still who she was. In that sense, I hope she's able to find a balance and can indulge in her desires without being a complete crashout incapable of caring for herself. That's all good and dandy though. It's the struggle all adults have as they're made to learn how to balance being responsible for themselves and still ENJOYING life. The problem is the codependency. It is lonely when people become independently responsible and no longer need you and naturally have less time they can spend with you as a result. It's good and it's healthy, but it's a little sad.

The big kicker though is how this parallels the actual main couple's relationship. I thought this would be an annoying arc, but it does a good job progressing their relationship with a reminder of the main conflict. Shinba actually takes his sister's growth quite well. He's sad, but thinks this is for the best and even uses it as motivation to keep growing himself. Hizumi at the very thought of the same thing happening with him (him becoming more independent and relying on her less) is trembling. She's still not remotely secure enough in their relationship, his feelings for her, or her feelings for herself (more like there's probably negative feelings there). It's something too easily relatable. They also continue to do a good job communicating though she's also clearly still holding back.

I like this general cast of characters we're building a LOT. Oh my god Miyabi is fantastic staying on. She's done such a good job settling into the "pest that so desperately wants to be a home wrecker but has also knows she'll never win." role and it's actually charming. Again, I want her to get married or start dating someone and STILL hang around looking for any opportunity to make a move. Like have her significant other just accept that they'd be dropped like chopped liver if Shinba ever went morally bankrupt and decided to have an affair with Miyabi. That'd be hilarious and somehow adorable (though it'd be tragic in real life). I do also hope to continue seeing the sister. Again, I want to see her find that balance. Umm, Oneshota is a "questionable" hobby, but if that's her hobby and she isn't actively committing crimes than indulging in it when it's appropriate is also apart of a healthy lifestyle. Heck there's all types of serious Manga that (because Japan I guess) still have those relationships or make jokes/hints about them. She can ESPECIALLY still want to spend time with her little brother as an older sister who grew up not having anyone else. It's all just about moderation and balance.

I'm looking forward to seeing all these characters continue to grow. Jeesus I never expected this when I first strumpled upon this Manga, especially not when I checked out the pre-serialization.
 

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Cant fuhin wait for that sweet,juicy and succulent backstory 🫪
 
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The author just killed a character without killing one, its a very weird feeling ngl, i have some very conflicted feelings...
They didn't talk things out in the end, she's just gone away like she would never show up again...
I mean its good that she grew up, but I cant explain why, but I feel like I just saw an NTR of some kind and it disturb me quite a bit
 
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There's something about this chapter that I'm being drawn to. I'm not sure what, but it's one rarely felt.
 
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I wonder what happen in the past with her previous bf, she clearly has the experience.
 
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These kinds of developments are always so bittersweet. Change is a scary thing at times and seeing the person you've come to know your entire life become almost a completely different person gives an overwhelming sense of loneliness. :meguuusad:
Just like Guardian Tales. Man, what happened to that game.
 
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Just like Guardian Tales. Man, what happened to that game.
As far as I know, it's still f2p friendly just that the previous director made some bad/questionable decisions that led to the abandonment of some modes. Though I heard there's a new director again so things might get better again, but the release of world might slow down I think.
 
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I can’t help but think that her “Apology” was directed for what she’s doing where she wouldn’t let the MC grow and not being unable to help him to grow.I just couldn’t overlook that this is a bad romance in terms of the concept of “romance” itself since she’s constantly preventing the MC to improve and be better himself.But for now,it really is a “Good Manga” but not a “Good Romance” Manga for others to reference into.
 
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i know this isnt a manga about the sister... but i will talk about it anyways. idk why but this chapter made me feel really sad. its so strange. the sister... doesnt feel like her anymore. like she died and an entirely different person with the same face replaced her. everything that made her, her, is gone now. very saddening. it was for the better, but man...
 
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Love the butterfly symbolism, even if it's a tad on the nose ... Change and Death
Out with the toxic co-dependancy, in with social skills and self-determination, Hizumi basically crash-parented the sister.

Honestly? I like how this shook out, it's novel, realistic, and indulgent all in one, much like the last arc. It seems the author is finding a knack for interesting, if slightly fucked up dynamics grounded in reality.

You don't often see the "weirdo" try to learn how to be normal and succeed, usually it ends with them doubling down and being told its okay to stay like you are and not change - so that's rather novel.
You could say that normies kinda need to hear that message, and I guess it makes even more sense in a society that values conformity like Japan allegedly does (.... side tangent: while I've never been to Japan, sometimes I wonder if these stereotypes are exaggerated, and just a case of manifesting differently, because societies inherently are somewhat conformist, no? You can be a weirdo everywhere.) - but there are people whom the opposite applies to. Talking a bit about myself, I can relate wanting to learn how to be "normal", because life really is easier if you don't faceplant into every social wall. Onesho and Shinba being co-dependant wrecks because their parents apparently did jackshit is realistic.
And the indulgent part... the part that makes it fun and interesting and wholesome, lies in there being a reliable, competent, and willing mentor figure in the shape of Hizumi, producing a solid result in a short timeframe both in- and out-of-universe.

A solid piece of writing, imho :thumbsup:
 
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I'm actually really glad I stuck around to see the growth of these two. This has been a Manga had been like a complete subversion of my expectations, I thought it'd really end up in shinba becoming completely codependent and hizumi being a manipulative and toxic yandere yet I was shown the something so different. This chapter and particular hit really hard, the development of shinba's sister was a great thing to see and just a better improvement to happen overall, but MAN does it ache seeing her go.

The author knows how to pace so well, like the improvement of big sis going in a blink of an eye one can think the author was rushing it but from my point of view we're just seeing it through shinba's eyes. Over the course of a month he basically saw the person he used to know dissappear little by little until they were a completely different person, then the part where she goes up the escalator it's slow and we can see shinba's face still in shock as he looks at the only family member he knew move on to be something bigger.

The feeling of being left behind by your peers as they grow up to be their best selves is such a relatable and aching feeling. I bet it's hitting twice as hard for shinba as suseri has always been the same suseri he knew just until a month ago while he still trying to wrangle in his self worth. He put it in such great words at the end where he was describing the loneliness of others around you growing up and finding their place and how he needs to find his.

Then we have hizumi's insecurities where they conflict with what's shinba's striving for. It really wasn't that she was a sadist but it's just that as a way of preventing shinba from leaving her she tries to put him down and keep him around her finger, but she knows that it isn't right and that she really does love him and want the best for him. So as she tries to put him down she also tries to uplift him, shinba himself is trying to grow up to be someone perfect for hizumi. This weird feedback loop kinda feeds into her anxiety that once he grows up enough he'll abandon her.

I'm hoping we'll see suseri again, the way she left felt so much like a last goodbye. It'd probably be healthy for shinba too to know that even after such a huge change things can still stay the same. Can't belive such a oneshot became something so great. Other commentors have said what I wanted to say much better but this is something I had to get out.
 

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