How to Shitpost?

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グアバ(グァバ、グヮバ、グアヴァとも。英語: guava;スペイン語: guayaba;ポルトガル語: goiaba;学名:Psidium guajava L.)は、フトモモ科に属する熱帯性の低木。または、これと同じ Psidium 属の約100種の植物の総称。

植物学上の特徴と分布
カリブ海沿岸、中央アメリカ、南アメリカ北部、東南アジアなどに自生する。和名は蕃石榴(バンジロウまたはバンザクロ、バンセキリュウ)。沖縄地方の方言ではバンシルー(沖縄本島)、バンチキロー(宮古)、バンチュル(八重山)、また台湾では芭楽(台湾語: 菝仔 pa̍t-á パター、繁体字: 芭樂、簡体字: 芭乐、中国語拼音: bā lè、注音: ㄅㄚ ㄌㄜˋ)と呼ばれる。

葉は楕円から卵型で、長さは5-15cm程度。対生で枝分かれしない。花は白く、5枚の花弁と多数のおしべを持つ。

果実は食用とされる。形は球か洋ナシ型で、直径3-10cmほど。皮は薄くてきめが細かく、色は薄い緑色から黄色、成熟期には品種によってピンクや赤になる。強い特徴的な香りをもち、白か橙色の果肉の中には、小さくて固いたくさんの種子がある。なお、種子を多く摂取すると腹をくだす。ビタミンA、B、Cが豊富。

葉に含まれるポリフェノールは、α-マルターゼによるデンプンの分解を抑制し、糖の吸収をおだやかにし、血糖上昇を抑制する作用があり健康茶(グアバ茶)に使われる。特定保健用食品の許可がある製品も存在する。

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グアバは熱帯の国々で食用として栽培されており、ストロベリー、コスタ・リカ、アップル、ギニア、カットリー、マウンテンなどの品種がある。果実はそのまま食用とするか、デザートなどに使われる。アジアでは、生のグアバに食塩、唐辛子粉、またはプルーンの粉末や乾燥梅干しの粉末(酸梅粉)をつけて食べる。茹でたグアバはキャンディー、ジャム、ゼリー、ネクターなど、幅広く使用される。

グアバは霜に弱い。ハワイなど一部の熱帯地域では、ある種のグアバが雑草のようにはびこっている。また、グアバは熱帯の植物には珍しく、室内で育成すれば温帯地域でも食べられる大きさの果実を収穫できるため、園芸の対象としても興味をもたれている。日本においては沖縄県で民家の庭木としてよく見られる。

近縁種のキバンジロウ(テリハバンジロウ)もグアバと呼ばれ同様に利用されている。
 
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Cock and ball torture From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia at en.wikipedia.org

Cock and ball torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the male genitals. This may involve directly painful activities, such as genital piercing, wax play, genital spanking, squeezing, ball-busting, genital flogging, urethral play, tickle torture, erotic electrostimulation or even kicking. The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a sadistic dominant.

Image: Electrostimulation applied on a penis

Contents: Section 1: In Pornography Section 2: Ball stretcher Section 3: Parachute Section 4: Humbler Section 5: Testicle cuff

Section 1: In pornography

In addition to it’s occasional role in BDSM pornography, Tamakeri (literally Ball kicking) is a separate genre in Japan. One notable actress in tamakeri is Erika Nagai who typically uses her martial arts skills to knee or kick men in the testicles.

Section 2: Ball stretcher A ball stretcher is a sex toy that is fastened around a man in order to elongate the scrotum and provide a feeling of weight pulling the testicles away from the body. While leather stretchers are most common, other models are made of steel rings that are fastened with screws causing additional mildly uncomfortable weight to the wearer. The length of the stretcher may vary from 1-4 inches, and the steel models can weigh as much as five pounds.

Section 3: Parachute

A Parachute is a small collar, usually made from leather, which fastens around the scrotum, and from which weights can be hung. Conical in shape, three or four short chains hanging beneath, to which weights can be attached. Used as part of cock and ball torture within a BDSM relationship, the parachute provides a constant drag, and squeezing effects on the man’s testicles. Moderate weights of 3-5 kg can be suspended, especially during bondage. Smaller weights can be used when the man is free to move, when the swinging effect of the weight can restrict sudden movements, as well as providing a visual stimulus for the dominant partner.

Section 4: Humbler

A humbler is a BDSM physical restraint device used to restrict the movement of a submissive male participant in a BDSM scene. The humbler consists of a testicle cuff device which clamps around the base of the scrotum, mounted in the center of a bar that passes behind the thighs at the base of the buttocks. This forces the wearer to keep his legs forward, as any attempt to to straighten the legs slightly pulls directly on the scrotum, causing from considerable discomfort to extreme pain.

Section 5: Testicle cuff

A testicle cuff is a ring-shaped device around the scrotum between the body and the testicles which when closed does not allow the testicles to slide through it. A common type has two connected cuffs, one around the scrotum and the other around the base of the penis. They are just one of many devices to restrain the male genitalia. A standard padlock may also be locked around the scrotum; without the key it cannot be removed.

Some passive men enjoy the feeling of being "owned", while dominant individuals enjoy the sense of "owning" their partners. Requiring such a man wear testicle cuffs symbolizes that his sexual organs belong to his partner, who may be either male or female. There is a level of humiliation involved, by which they find sexual arousal. The cuffs may even form part of a sexual fetish of the wearer or his partner.

However, these are extreme uses of testicle cuffs. More conventionally, the device pulls down the testicles and keeps them there during stimulation, which has a number of benefits:

Making the penis appear longer. Pulling the testicles down and away from the base of the penis stretches the skin over the base of the penis and pubic bone, exposing the additional inch or so of penile shaft that is normally hidden from view. Improving sexual arousal. While some men may be aroused by the feeling of being "owned", the physical feeling of stretching the ligaments that suspend the testicles has an effect similar to the more common practice of stretching one's legs and pointing the toes. Preventing the testicles from lifting up so far that they become lodged under the skin immediately adjacent to the base of the penis, a condition which can be very uncomfortable, especially if the testicle is then squashed by the slap of skin during thrusting in sexual intercourse. Delaying or intensifying ejaculation by preventing the testicles from rising normally to the "point of no return". It is much harder to reach an orgasm.

 
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@justforthelulz You should have posted it in the argument/callout thread you dork

Now the irony's been lost because it's in the shitposting thread
 
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@justforthelulz Technically there's irony in the fact you put in the wrong thread because it's the opposite of what you think would happen.

Also, your icon is technically an albino, it's just an albino horse unicorn
 
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Question - How to "Shitpost"

Answer: You post something that is low-effort to provide laughs from someone who thinks that mediocrity is humorous.
 
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Dead or alive, you're shitposting with me!
 
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I mean, if you're into that @Tamerlane, i ain't gonna judge you, but i'll say i want my rooster and eggs undamaged.
 

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