I realize that this is supposed to be a primitive society, and so it's probably understandable if he thinks that abuse like that is a valid training technique. Unfortunately, it's not. Even the army eventually learned that the abusive drill sergeant stereotype does more harm than good.
What that actually does is cull the people who don't already have the qualities of psychological grit and endurance, and probably reduces the useful lifespan of those who do.
If making people face hardship like that made them stronger, then the people fighting in the trenches of Verdun in 1916 would have been incredibly strong.
Also, I realize that Anne lived a life of two polar opposites, abuse and consideration, but she's absolutely wrong about love. People can fake love, I've seen it tons of times.
Even though I know the author isn't going to go the yuri route, Anne and Estelle are way better match than Estelle and Emil. They both come from similar backgrounds and have shared life experiences, they're both intellectual, and they care about each other as peers.