I Can’t Date My Student… Can I? - Ch. 11.1

[Dzrian]

Me when I tell my friend who is a lolicon

 

[Dzrian]

I'll say it again: there's nothing remotely controversial in this manga.

And to get it out of the way, I'd have zero qualms with a gender-reversed situation. Why? Because there was nothing wrong with the marriage of Oona O'Neill and Charles Chaplin. He was 54 and she was 18. They eloped to Mexico to get married, stayed together to the end, by all indications loved each other tenderly, raised a happy family of eight children (Chaplin was last a father at 73) and are buried next to each other. And since there was the threat of a stern father mentioned in this chapter: Oona's dad, Nobel Prize laureate playwright Eugene O'Neill cut ties with, disinherited and never saw her again. Doesn't seem like she gave a shit about it, and he was the one who died a bitter recluse.

Also: there's nothing wrong with lust. So long as there's mutual consent, sex is ultimately a private decision of what to do with one's own body and urges. There are tons of people who engage in casual sex. The friend here is a Victorian prude who thinks there's a standard way to begin a relationship. Getting down and dirty first and then trying out for feelings is as legitimate as the other way round. Kon'no is clearly lustful for her (one might argue that physical attraction was what got him going in the beginning), so why's everyone dunking on her for being turned on by the idea of getting laid by a hot young man?

The question is rhetorical and I'll answer: because as the audience we know Kon'no feels more than lust for her, and consider it unfair of Hinata to not be honest about how she's feeling, which might lead him to believe her emotions are reciprocal. Her friend's only good piece of advice (other than cautioning her that last-minute backpedalling on a sexually aroused teen can be dangerous if she doesn't know who she's dealing with, which is frankly not particularly brilliant counselling but par for the course) is getting Hinata to put in words how she feels about Kon'no. And the friend drew a completely wrong conclusion from her reply, and was nothing short of rude about it, guilt-tripping Hinata like that.

And that's the only charge I'll grant: she could have told him in advance she felt physically attracted, but at that point she didn't see him under a romantic light. That's a fair cry from being "messed up", it's a common communication mistake, something she could even admit after having sex with him and then the two could work things out. Starting couples do that all the time, it can lead to break-ups and second attempts, it's normal. It would be a mistake regardless of the age gap, and not something to throw rotten eggs at her for. Love is messy.

Sheesh, it's sad times when such a bland story gets everyone freaking out like this.

I agree with what you’re trying to convey. My own parents are doing well with a 25 year age gap. Attraction can also be nuanced, nothing wrong as long as you keep it rationale. So preach it.

Except for the part about lust though. I’d still advise against leading with it, and I say that as someone who isn’t a prude. Western media made me think casual sex is normal there, but where I’m from, it doesn’t seem that way and for good reason.

Her friend isn’t just being overly conservative. While some relationships do form after sex, those are the exceptions, not the rule. Some of these people are already aware of each other’s feelings beforehand as well. There are real consequences people often dismiss when it comes to casual sex, such as health risks, emotional damage, unplanned pregnancies, even social fallout. One partner might walk away when things get complicated, leaving the other to deal with the aftermath alone. This also happens in relationships, let alone one where you can simply run away from.

From my own relationships, my friends’, and what I’ve seen in articles & reports, it’s clear, things tend to go better when lust comes after mutual clarity and readiness to take responsibility. It’s not just about what you want it’s also about your partner and the lives your choices might affect.

I write this in hopes of spreading awareness for any passersby. I’ve felt bad for victims and friends in these situations, just because they or a partner let their lust lead them.

 

[Kendama]

I agree with what you’re trying to convey. My own parents are doing well with a 25 year age gap. Attraction can also be nuanced, nothing wrong as long as you keep it rationale. So preach it.

Except for the part about lust though. I’d still advise against leading with it, and I say that as someone who isn’t a prude. Western media made me think casual sex is normal there, but where I’m from, it doesn’t seem that way and for good reason.

Her friend isn’t just being overly conservative. While some relationships do form after sex, those are the exceptions, not the rule. Some of these people are already aware of each other’s feelings beforehand as well. There are real consequences people often dismiss when it comes to casual sex, such as health risks, emotional damage, unplanned pregnancies, even social fallout. One partner might walk away when things get complicated, leaving the other to deal with the aftermath alone. This also happens in relationships, let alone one where you can simply run away from.

From my own relationships, my friends’, and what I’ve seen in articles & reports, it’s clear, things tend to go better when lust comes after mutual clarity and readiness to take responsibility. It’s not just about what you want it’s also about your partner and the lives your choices might affect.

I write this in hopes of spreading awareness for any passersby. I’ve felt bad for victims and friends in these situations, just because they or a partner let their lust lead them.

Oh, well, I agree with you that ideally personalities should click together in mutual attraction before lust sets in. And sure, from a purely probabilistic angle, casual sex entails more risks simply because the people involved will do it more often.

That's why I said I'd have agreed with the friend if she had offered advice in a non-judgemental manner. Because in my view, the issues you allude to are mainly practical: condoms, contraception, sex education exist to mitigate the physical risks and prepare people mentally for how to deal with their bodies. Even if people who do casual sex without emotional or physical issues are a minority, I think this has more to say about problems with society than about the morality of the act itself. My main objection was to the "this is messed up" comment the friend made. I just don't like that she's being judged as if lust were an inherently reprehensible state of mind in the absence of romantic feelings.

 

[akasugi]

i mean this lady has been a virgin for 30+ years, obviously a few mental ailments are in order

Alternatively she’s saving herself for someone? I’d FAR prefer a woman who is concrete and values her body than some streetwalker lol

 

[nueee]

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