Issho ni Kurashite ii desu ka? - Ch. 39 - Can't We End This Mutual One-sided Love?

[danvolodar]

Well, you’ve got to be one ass-backwards type of person to believe that personal growth doesn't happen when you're not trying to pursue a relationship. A person who's working on themselves — that shit happens all the time in reality.

Just like no amount of doing kata or reading books with make a fighter out of you, since the only way to learn fighting is fighting, no amount of reading on relationships and meditating on your navel is giving you """personal growth""". Again, the only functional school is the school of hard knocks.

Honestly, I think the world would be a better place if I never had to read another one of your dumbass comments. But here we are.

See, case in point: as you try reading, you discover there are people with correct opinions different from yours. It's a learning experience that will serve you well in life.

 

[danvolodar]

For an American, 550km is about a 6-7 hour drive on the highway, less than 5 hours if you speed a bit, using around $50 in gas and maybe a $20 meal along the way. So this is the glory of everyone's vaunted public transit systems; I guess you get to pretend to be cattle for a bit, if you're into that.

550 km is not a five hour drive (you'd need an average speed of 110 km/h for that, and that means going above 200 from time to time to make up for traffic congestion or any other slow-downs). 550 is roughly the distance from Boston to Baltimore: a seven hour drive with toll roads, an eight-hour one without, if google maps are to be believed.
So instead of chilling for a few hours in a train seat or simply sleeping through a night train trip the way people do in sane countries, you're spending a whole workday driving, and it ends up more expensive to boot (again, in the sane countries where railroad passenger transport exists).

 

[18thMoon]

Just like no amount of doing kata or reading books with make a fighter out of you, since the only way to learn fighting is fighting, no amount of reading on relationships and meditating on your navel is giving you """personal growth""". Again, the only functional school is the school of hard knocks.

That's ridiculous. Hiromi jumping from relationship to relationship doesn't resolve the issues he has within himself. He just got out of a relationship with Chika — a woman who cheated on him, kicked him out of his own house because she wanted to be with someone else, then came crawling back, only for him to find out she was just using him because the other guy wouldn't put up with her nonsense.

So, Hiromi breaks up with her. Then he gets with Lili — and we all saw how that turned out. Why? Because he has trust issues. And why does he have trust issues? Because Lili and her male best friend, Hodoka, are a little too close for comfort. She shows Hodoka a side of herself that she doesn't show Hiromi. On top of that, she spent the night at Hodoka’s house without even checking in, which only made Hiromi more uncomfortable about their so-called "friendship." That’s trust issues, plain and simple.

And where do those trust issues come from? His relationship with Chika — a woman who cheated on him, kicked him out, then came back just to use him. It's no wonder he couldn't fully embrace his relationship with Lili; those unresolved insecurities caused mistakes between them. On top of that, he started feeling like Hodoka might be a better fit for Lili than he was. Trust issues.

So your solution is for him to just jump into another relationship instead of fixing what’s going on inside? That’s fucking stupid. Seriously, that's terrible advice. I guarantee you, 90% of people who do that are unhappy. They never find love — they just find someone willing to put up with their bullshit. Nothing more.

See, case in point: as you try reading, you discover there are people with correct opinions different from yours. It's a learning experience that will serve you well in life.

Here’s the thing — you believe your opinion is correct, but that’s ridiculously stupid because it’s just wrong. It’s perfectly fine to disagree, but when you claim it’s unrealistic for someone to improve themselves outside of seeking a relationship after jumping out of two failed relationships, I have to conclude that your opinion is downright foolish. The idea that a person can't work on themselves and has to rely on being up under someone else to do so is completely stupid.

 

[Knighto]

This lili arc so mid thank fuck shes not endgame

duuuude don't jinx it... remember the author, she could easily be endgame.

 

[danvolodar]

That's ridiculous. Hiromi jumping from relationship to relationship doesn't resolve the issues he has within himself.

It's incredible how you're willing to write up a novel, yet again and again show unwillingness to read. In my very first comment in this thread, this very point has already been addressed: "The only realistic scenario after trauma is calming down over time and introducing some kind of coping mechanism".
You got burned and got issues? Tough stuff, mate, they are never going away, no matter the time you spend in masturbatory idleness. The best you can hope for is learning to hide them more or less well, and cope with the damage internally more or less well. And guess the only way you learn to do it? By trying and doing.
It's the same for all trauma, btw: one you got from your upbrining, one you got from getting burned in a fire, whatever. You just learn to live with it in time, and that's it.

On top of that, she spent the night at Hodoka’s house without even checking in, which only made Hiromi more uncomfortable about their so-called "friendship." That’s trust issues, plain and simple.

That in particular was a perfectly normal reaction that pretty much anyone would've shown in his place.
And no, the problem in their relationship wasn't Hiromi's trauma but the total communication breakdown: from Lili expecting Hiromi to guess her unvoiced needs in chapter 33 to them both failing to talk through her relationship with Hodoka in the further five chapters and set some boundaries.

So your solution is for him to just jump into another relationship instead of fixing what’s going on inside? That’s fucking stupid. Seriously, that's terrible advice. I guarantee you, 90% of people who do that are unhappy. They never find love — they just find someone willing to put up with their bullshit. Nothing more.

I guarantee you, 100% of people in long-term relationships have issues with their partners, and whether they're happy depends only on their ability to talk and compromise - that is, the ""willingness to put up with their bullshit"". If you think there exist people who are not giving each other some bullshit over potentially decades together, much less if you imagine that bullshit can be removed in advance through any amount of time spent navel-gazing, you're completely detached from reality.

Here’s the thing — you believe your opinion is correct, but that’s ridiculously stupid because it’s just wrong.

Yeah, that's how reading opinions different from yours works before you realize yours might be misinformed. Normally people have that down by the age of six or so, but I see you're struggling with basic skills like reading acquired at that age already.

 

[18thMoon]

It's incredible how you're willing to write up a novel, yet again and again show unwillingness to read. In my very first comment in this thread, this very point has already been addressed: "The only realistic scenario after trauma is calming down over time and introducing some kind of coping mechanism".

Are you seriously this dense? The "coping mechanism" I’m talking about is him working on himself — something I’ve been saying since my very first reply. How else is he supposed to improve if he keeps jumping from one failed relationship to another without fixing what’s broken inside him? That’s the whole point. That is the coping mechanism, you absolute moron.

You’ve got to be kidding me. Only a complete idiot would keep repeating the same nonsense without offering a single better solution. And guess what? I did offer a solution — him working on himself instead of running headfirst into another relationship like it’s going to magically fix everything.

But here you are, somehow getting dumber with every reply. It’s honestly impressive at this point. I’m sitting here wondering how it's even possible to be this stubbornly stupid. I don’t get
it.

That in particular was a perfectly normal reaction that pretty much anyone would've shown in his place.
And no, the problem in their relationship wasn't Hiromi's trauma but the total communication breakdown: from Lili expecting Hiromi to guess her unvoiced needs in chapter 33 to them both failing to talk through her relationship with Hodoka in the further five chapters and set some boundaries.

Again, in my original comment — the one you replied to — I already said exactly that. I acknowledged that he had every right to feel the way he felt. Yet here you are, several replies later, repeating the same nonsense as if you’re saying something new. You’re not. You haven’t said anything different this entire time.

All you’re doing is continuously pointing out his flaws — something I already addressed from the start. Why? Because you’re an idiot. You’re literally arguing the exact same point I made, acting like you’re bringing something fresh to the table. You keep repeating the same dumb nonsense over and over, thinking you’re making some profound argument when I established the problem in my very first reply.

It’s clear at this point — you just want to argue. There’s no other reason why someone could be this dense. There’s no other explanation for why someone could be this stupid. You’ve spent this entire time showing your stupidity, and I genuinely don’t understand why.

Who logs onto the internet just to argue nonstop? You’re a dumbass with no life — probably a loser in real life too. I honestly don’t care anymore. The fact that you keep arguing over something I’ve already said is beyond stupid. It’s pathetic.

 

[Nitrouse]

"Wakayama!?" They shout, as if everywhere outside of Tokyo is the most remote place on Earth.

Guess its more about the Distance. Wakayama is more than 550km away from Tokyo.

 

[Georgeorat]

Surely, that cannot be by shinkansen. It's barely faster than driving! But that price. . .

For an American, 550km is about a 6-7 hour drive on the highway, less than 5 hours if you speed a bit, using around $50 in gas and maybe a $20 meal along the way. So this is the glory of everyone's vaunted public transit systems; I guess you get to pretend to be cattle for a bit, if you're into that.
Bashing public transit aside,
~~~~~

Now, let's consider some factors playing into that.
First: geography. I doubt Japan could afford to build as many highways as America can, both because of mountainous terrain and because of being in a zone of high seismic activity.
Second: shinkansen is a public transport. It moves millions of passengers monthly, unlike personal vehicles. Plus I assume this cost also includes a ride in comfort, unlike having to drive for 6 hours(or maybe more, since again, no highways and not a lot of straight sections on the road).
Third: consider including costs of buying and maintaining a car into your comparison next time, please. And also the fact of getting a license being basically a necessity in US, unless you are hella rich.

 

[StealthAria]

550 km is not a five hour drive (you'd need an average speed of 110 km/h for that, and that means going above 200 from time to time to make up for traffic congestion or any other slow-downs). 550 is roughly the distance from Boston to Baltimore: a seven hour drive with toll roads, an eight-hour one without, if google maps are to be believed.
So instead of chilling for a few hours in a train seat or simply sleeping through a night train trip the way people do in sane countries, you're spending a whole workday driving, and it ends up more expensive to boot (again, in the sane countries where railroad passenger transport exists).

110 km/h is regular highway speeds anywhere that isn't stuck in the 1950's, it just looks fast because you're using Metric's smaller units, 110kph isn't even 70mph which is speed limit on most American highways. (some go up to 90mph now) The highways in Japan have a speed limit of 100 km/h and some sections (including between Tokyo and Wakayama) have a speed limit of 120 km/h, they are also well maintained but seldom used so congestion is almost never an issue. So yes, a 5 hour drive Tokyo-Wakayama is entirely possible if you speed just a bit.

Now, let's consider some factors playing into that.
First: geography. I doubt Japan could afford to build as many highways as America can, both because of mountainous terrain and because of being in a zone of high seismic activity.
Second: shinkansen is a public transport. It moves millions of passengers monthly, unlike personal vehicles. Plus I assume this cost also includes a ride in comfort, unlike having to drive for 6 hours(or maybe more, since again, no highways and not a lot of straight sections on the road).
Third: consider including costs of buying and maintaining a car into your comparison next time, please. And also the fact of getting a license being basically a necessity in US, unless you are hella rich.

See above. Japan has an extensive network of highways, more than America even once you factor in the relatively small size of the nation.
I do not factor in vehicle maintenance because it is not a part of any given trip, it is also easily offset by the money saved not using public transit because, as I demonstrated, fuel ends up being cheaper than the ticket costs for public transit by a significant margin unless subsidized, in which case the ticket cost is just coming out in taxes whether you use it or not.

 

[EnFiveFour]

Thank you for the translation!

 

[AnatolianTurk]

duuuude don't jinx it... remember the author, she could easily be endgame.

Dont worry brudda

 

[AnatolianTurk]

Volume 4 came out and had a bonus chapter which has been uploaded as chapter 32.5. The next chapter comes out on the 2nd.

Its gone

 

[Shitty]

I've moved on from a relationship like this so long ago and yet this gnaws at me, I feel for hiromi so bad this whole situation is just fucked up. Also this is extra painful for hiromi, this guy just go out of a relationship with a lying bitch and he's supposed to swallow up his negative feelings all the while lili does so little to reassure him, pretty cruel

 

[Valle_reading_manga]

Who would've thought, dating someone for the first time with marriage in mind right away makes things awkward
Even so, I think saying he turned cynical is a bit of an exaggeration though.
Either way, maybe dating while hiding it from your 4 female housemates wasn't that great of a plan. Good thing the programmer has a mansion at the ready

---

What's with MC always doing random things. Or is it time the sickly grandmother arc
Could've left a note regardless though