I appreciate that you have make it clear it was MTL and that you put a lot of effort in proofreading it so it sounds right.
Not having a translator is not the best but what you have done is good. Some MTL scanlators don't bother proofreading and think MTL is a perfect substitute for having someone actually translate it.
A lot of the translation process I went through was speculation and 'guessing' what the characters were saying based on their personality. I ran into a couple unfamiliar Japanese sayings however, like this one here that I missed:
"Side dish" in the last page mostly refers to slang (fap material) instead of the usual culinary term.
The other that I somehow caught was on page 7 when Lily says something about a "questionable character". The literal phrase that I was given from the MTL was something about "horse bones". Luckily I was able to find a little info off google that helped me interpret it better.
But now that I know there's an alternate meaning of side dish, I might go back in and fix the wording. Thanks for the advice!
edit:
If anyone knows of any good translation software/websites that you think might help, I'd appreciate some recommendations. Before this project I had never even heard of DeepL, but it turned out to be a huge help in making things sound more natural.
edit 2:
Fixed the awkward 'side dish' remark and changed two other mistakes I noticed upon reading again.