Anon with similar experience to MC here,
Sorry for your loss
@horsewithnoname, I feel you. Kudo to the Mangaka, the story feels very realistic as well as MC's feelings.
First some context about me. I am very innocent and quite the platonic romantic just like MC, wanting a soulmate over anything else.
For me, just like MC, something similar happened some years back :
Met a girl commuting to Uni in one of my seminars. At first she seemed pretty lonely but there was a certain glow around her. Started talking with her about in the weirdest possible way, but she somehow enjoyed my company, as no one else took the time.
Months pass, we get along great. I start meeting her at the trainstation before every class she shared with me, we spend the entire day together to then walk her back to the train when she leaves.
Soon I realize my feelings for her. Before I knew I was in love with her. One day she tells me she has a BF. My heart plummets but I try to store it deep down and enjoy our time together. After all I would be a douche if I did all this just because I love her.
After some weeks I start to enjoy our time again, I think to myself "this can work out as it is, being just friends".
One day she tells me what I think of girls that have multiple crushes. Stupid and Dense me don't understand her. Ask her how you can love more than one person. She remains persistent and asks what I would do if a girl in a relationship were to confess her feelings for me.
Still a huge idiot I tell her "I will never accept the feelings of someone that cheats their bf". She says "what about if you loved that person?". "I would still not accept her feelings. How would you feel if your love cheated on you?"
Months pass, our time together is great. We have grown quite close and I love every minute with her.
One day she invites me over to her town. I happily oblige. It is summer, she shows me around town. She then invites me into her home. We listen to music and have a blast.
Suddenly I feel the atmosphere shift weirdly. (I never had a proper gf by that time and the only girl I kissed took me 30 minutes of awkwardly sitting around).
I suddenly ask her what she is trying to say. I don't understand what is going on. She confesses she fell in love since way back I started talking to her and caring so much for her. I don't understand. "Don't you have a BF?" "Yes I did, we just broke up." "But didn't you love him?" "I do but I am weird since I can remember I always loved multiple guys at once" "I don't understand"
Turns out she tried to have sex with me, a complete virgin. I am still not sure why she hid the fact that she broke up from me that day. The only thing that might have caused it was my recommendation, that the girl confessing while in a relationship needed to spend time single, in order to get to know her feelings of love.
I was so shocked and scared of the whole new sex thing I froze up and we decided to walk me back to the train. Turns out she had planned all of the aspects of her advance by doing it within the last 30 minutes before my train arrived so that if I would turn her down she could walk me home immediately.
On the long way to the train station she told me that she was terribly sorry and that I deserved better. She told me that she felt horrible jumping on someone as naive as I. Apparently she fell in love with me due to me caring so much for her and just being damn nice to her. Apparently her BF was quite the douche to her. Furthermore me being a virign and all made it very easy for her to figure that I had a crush on her. That is why she told me she had a BF. But what made her fall was the fact that I ended up staying as kind to her as before, knowing I would not be with her and being all against cheating on people. Apparently she decided to try what I recommended but soon succumbed to her desires ending up using me knowing full well how innocent I was (I told her about my past relationships). She started also telling me that she hit on many other guys (including her boss) depending on who she felt fancy.
The worst thing is she told me that she was not ready for a relationship. She just wanted sex. Meanwhile I had laid my whole being bare to her, telling her about my fears, my joys etc... Now that I think back I found it very weird how she always seemed accusing me of pretending, even snooping around only to find I was genuine. This should have been a red flag that she did those things to seem innocent and feared I did the same.
It broke my heart seeing the girl I love not only turn out like this but also use me for easy sex, throwing all our relationship, friendship out of the window in order to get her thrill.
After that she only visited me once. I lied to myself and told her we could do it so that I would at least stop being a virgin and get to be with my crush at least once, but it felt horrible. She got off quite easily, but I couldn't. I don't know if it was the anxiety of going all the way straight away or the fact that she had such an amazing technique which showed her experience boning every dick she saw many times over.
Since then I have stopped caring about any relationship. I even believe that love as shown in the mind of MC is impossible. My experience has taught me a lot and I have lost some of my innocence. Funny how it is always the guys who like traditional romance that get sex friends that other guys would love to have.
As you can see the author is very realistic. For all brothers and sisters who have been hurt in this manner before, I salute you. If I were the MC I would have closed her off completely after the boat ride. I would never want to be with her after hearing all that. I would just run away from her or close myself off like in Real Life. Maybe that explains why I do art alot. A way to cope with my experiences.