This is the aro ace manga i was looking for.
MC mangaka is an insecure, but aggresively opinionated person. Being left out made her question her own worth, and it also made her more aware of the problems with society. She realizes the fact that the majority will never care about minority issues as much as the people who are directly involved with the issues (the minorities themselves and the people who care about them). But she also knows that she is influenced by the majority opinions, and it heightens her insecurities. I am personally more secure in my identity as an aroace, but this really emphasizes the doubts that I will always have.
One of the doubts is particular heart wrenching; those who 'lack' something that the majority posses will have a harder time communicating their peers in life. Romantic love is something alloromantics (not aromantics) take for granted when making connections in conversation.
Kiryu's attitude about trying her best to fall in love is an experience that is common among aromantics who had not learn of the label yet; however, even after she knows about it, at least the way japanese lgbt culture talk about the a-spectrum, she continues to chase after her ideal of love, romantic love, to write her harem manga. But part of her movivation is fueled by her insecurity in belonging.
When she deals with Kitamura's confession by dating him, she feels guilt about using him to experiment, even though she is super accomodating to his agressive advances. As she begins to feel what I will call platonic love and affection, she gets stuck in the relatable thought of not being good enough to reciprocate the same love that Kitamura has toward her, which is romantic in nature.
With how relateable this manga is to me, it will definitely come off as boring to most. I wish for more people to be thoughtful and open minded when going through the sea of media we live in. When I read things that don't match my own experiences, I still try to take on the challenge of making my own understanding of it. The overshadowing of the manga is practically inevitable, but those who come across it can take their own meaning from it; its the same as anything in life. Nobody has the exact same experiences, so when things like this come up, its so sad that some people don't have the capacity to read something different.
ace by angela chen-One of the books I recently read and is a really good conversation on how aspect peoples' unconventional views on sex and romance add to its conversation .