A friend of mine was sent some messages from their classmate saying that "In general, (heterosexual) women choose their men with the intent of changing them into the ideal person they would like". Of course they asked for my opinion, knowing that I was gonna get triggered with such an extremely generalistic statement.
I took a step back. Considered the options. Still fired
"You know what? In my experience, people do really be like that sometimes. So I get where they are coming from. But the way is phrased makes it feel like it's in women's DNA to have that kind of approach to relationships. Tell your classmate to refrain from using pseudo-cientific statements based on their personal observations and objections in relationships to justify the reason why they are still single or have been dumped recently. Also, the world would be a greater place if only heterosexual women did that kind of thing, but that's not statistically true even if that's NOT the general way to tackle relationships."
So yeah, I do agree doing that it's a folly.
The thing is, I don't really agree completely that entering a relationship doesn't create changes in the self. Parting from the idea that one's in constant change, suddenly having to be constantly worried about the well being of another person you don't have blood relations with does make for a change on the mentality an approach to life for most people. It sounds romantic af, I know, but don't blame for that. I'm just paraphrasing some authors I have in my head, as for experience I can't say I have enough.
What's enough "experience" by the way? You know, to talk about relationships and stuff... Anyway
Let's talk about sexual discovery then. But just a little bit. One's perception of sex is part of the most important parts of said identity. In that way, being in a relationship lets you explore yourself in ways that wouldn't be possible without the "help" of a partner. More experienced people notice less changes as time goes on but... Well, I think you get my point.
The theory of people change's just coming from throwing their personas away when they are with said person is nice and actually quite plausible, so I'm gonna take you on that too.
If you managed to read all this crap, I salute you and thank you.