She actually means that she wants to be useful--she wants someone else to depend on her a bit. She doesn't want to be only doted on. He told her she can lean on him but she doesn't want that imbalance. Honestly though she just loves someone else and he doesn't cut it. I guess her affection started because she could be dependable for someone else and take care of them (and also be herself more).
Well I always suspected that doyeon liked jinju because she felt like she was very needed, like never has she felt this needed by a person before. I knew jinju liked doyeon but just didn’t realize. It seems like she’s starting to get it now though. What’s ironic is that doyeon talks about not wanting to depend on anyone but then she ended up depending on jinju in this chapter to come get her when she got drunk. Now will doyeon still feel the way she feels if she wasn’t depended on anymore from jinju? I don’t know but I do think both of these characters are incredibly lonely people so they both probably get each other.
Oh Jinju, you really do. 🤭
Now, what will she do about this realization? 👀
And what Doyeon will do about her own realization?
I can't wait to find out.
Thank you for the update
apparently now there will be less sex and more feelings(? Or I hope so, at any moment one of the two will have to take the first step and say "I like you"
This chapter made it clear that doyeon has a wrapped up perception of love. This "i must support someone to feel fulfilled" concept has been embedded within her since her years in the orphanage. She feels satisfied/loved when she helps people/when she's useful/when she's being self sacrificing. Which may imply that she thinks she holds no value besides the help she can offer. When we factor these assumptions into her relationship with jinju we get an even more disastrous image. Essentially what doyeon feels is some sort of validation disguised as "love". If they continue on this road things will unavoidably turn sour. Even if jinju doesn't mind being taken care of atm she will eventually seek some independence in her life and when that happens their relationship could go from toxic to abusive. I hope that they can actually fall in love with each others person, rather than then the idea of "caretaker"/"victim".