Love Thy Neighbor - Ch. 30 - Chapter 30

[Faust9]

And that cut?? I’m kind of suspecting it was self harm or maybe a fight between her little sister happened.

It kind of hurts to see doyeon this hard on herself. It’s like she’s mad that she has sexual desires.

That reminds me, this author has the habit of showing us the aftermath of an event, and then going back to show us what happened before (ex, the reason why Morae slapped Jinju, or what happened when Doyeon went out drinking). I quite like that, it's a great narrative technique. We're mislead or form our perceptions prematurely. The non chronological reveals really serve to shift our understanding of the characters.
I'm hoping we'll get the story behind the cut, and maybe a bit more introspection from Doyeon's end concerning the past 2 weeks.

Also, your second line is interesting to me, bc I didn't consider it that way. Combined with Doyeon admitting that she doesn't want to need anyone + she doesn't think their relationship can go anywhere, I interpreted the increase in distance (and failure to maintain it) as Doyeon trying to go back to being as independent as possible and not rely on anyone (throwback to how uneasy and anxious she used to be), while maintaining [being needed by Jinju]. It might be to avoid getting hurt.

Doyeon is a huge perfectionist and ngl, 2 weeks is a big deal for most. And I'm sure she would have been able to continue holding back if Jinju hadn't pulled her in. Doyeon is really the type to put her mind to something and go through with it, huh. I'd bet that also means that Doyeon takes failure/mistakes poorly. Throughout the series, I remember that kind of dialogue sprinkled a bit everywhere, just a lot of regrets and "I shouldn't have done this", "I should have stopped", "there's no turning back now that I've really hit rock bottom".
The way Doyeon always smiles, the way she always helps others in need, the way she brushes everything off and never wants for anything. Doyeon has insane self control, and is very good at repressing herself. For better and for worse. (hehe Jinju is the only one who can pierce through that armour and get under her skin)
I agree with you that it hurts. It makes my heart feel heavy, seeing Doyeon continuously hold herself to such impossible standards.

I'd like for them to rely on each other more, but I realise that's not the issue. They both have what it takes to help the other, but they each have such a hard time tolerating that help. They focus so much on the guilt and helplessness that it sometimes overshadows the gratitude and comfort of having each other.
On a more positive note, that means that they value each other too. There are benefits to being together yes, but no one is using the other or taking advantage.

 

[SrNevik]

I was thinking about it a bit more and I think doyeon is freaking out about relying on jinju. After her conversation with gunwoo she ends up trying to do more for jinju than ever before. It’s because she may be realizing she is actually relying on jinju now. Doyeon is terrified of needing someone else to satisfy her needs. As she told gunwoo, she wants to be the only one people ever rely on. But this girl is likely breaking down from the lack of intimacy between her and jinju, essentially she’s pushing jinju away. Now it could be because she’s scared jinju would go to her husband when he comes back. But I think it’s deeper than that. Jinju is too caring to leave doyeon I think. Jinju is in too deep essentially and would likely sacrifice a lot for doyeon.

Or maybe this is what doyeons end game is?? Lmao maybe doyeon is trying to be selfless and do all this stuff for jinju so when jinjus husband comes back jinju would feel bad about going to her husband and essentially return to doyeon. 😂😂 maybe THATS why jinju made a comment about the power imbalance and having to owe doyeon something. Maybe she’s becoming suspicious of doyeon doing all these kind things. It could be why it’s annoying her too because I think jinju is looking for a more balance relationship with doyeon because maybe jinju is realizing she might end up staying with doyeon when her husband comes back. So she wants doyeon to treat her as more equal in the relationship because she does want a more partner/romantic relationship with doyeon? Of course these two don’t communicate so they’re just expressing themselves through sex lmao

I think Jinju feels inadequate. I don't think she's annoyed by the imbalance, it's more that she feels like a burden and is searching for some way of repaying her debts (which she says are climbing everyday). She clearly doesn't mean monetary debt but emotional and physical debt. She was "doing her part" with the sex (the only thing Doyeon seems to desire) but now even that has been paused and she's finding it hard to understand what her role should be. She also seemed to view the sex as a transaction before but now she's realizing that she actually enjoys it and desires it (coupled with her realization from last chapter). It's all probably confusing for her. Then there's that Doyeon's constant giving seems a bit unnatural and I imagine Jinju is also wondering if this setup is healthy for Doyeon. At this point she must be wondering if this is all too good to be true. Jinju has a lot of self worth issues. Having said that, the fact that Jinju is feeling these things and worrying about Doyeon so constantly and thoughtfully suggests how deeply she's falling for her. I wonder if she's ever considered her husband in this kind of way. And speaking of her husband, his relationship with Jinju likely affects how she views this new relationship. A lot of what Jinju considers normal and abnormal is undoubtedly scarred by whatever mess her marriage has been like.

 

[jazkin]

Last note, when Jinju said Doyeon has no selflessness, was that the right word

That is not the right word lol, I misspelled selfishness …

 

[Cyn.bot]

I’m not sure to what extent Doyeon remembers what happened when she was drunk (mainly Jinju’s kiss), but given that she got herself even busier with the part-time job and held back on being both romantically and sexually intimate with Jinju, I’m guessing it has to do with what she told Gunwoo, that she doesn’t want to need anyone, and that she knows this will end badly for her (heartbreak, rejection) bc Jinju is married.
I also noticed that they’re not wearing hats or masks anymore when they go out. Uh, are they less concerned now…?

I was thinking about it a bit more and I think doyeon is freaking out about relying on jinju. After her conversation with gunwoo she ends up trying to do more for jinju than ever before. It’s because she may be realizing she is actually relying on jinju now. Doyeon is terrified of needing someone else to satisfy her needs. As she told gunwoo, she wants to be the only one people ever rely on. But this girl is likely breaking down from the lack of intimacy between her and jinju, essentially she’s pushing jinju away. Now it could be because she’s scared jinju would go to her husband when he comes back. But I think it’s deeper than that. Jinju is too caring to leave doyeon I think. Jinju is in too deep essentially and would likely sacrifice a lot for doyeon.

I know I'm late to the discussion, but my take on the "I dont want to need anyone/ I want to be needed", has to do with the fact that, even if she doesn’t like it, she is relying on her parents money for her education and apartment expenses.
Gunwoo talks about being a pillar for Doyeon, but what Doyeon wants is to be a pillar for Jinju to rely on. That means, of course, not depending on her parents (or anyone).

Or maybe this is what doyeons end game is?? Lmao maybe doyeon is trying to be selfless and do all this stuff for jinju so when jinjus husband comes back jinju would feel bad about going to her husband and essentially return to doyeon. 😂😂 maybe THATS why jinju made a comment about the power imbalance and having to owe doyeon something. Maybe she’s becoming suspicious of doyeon doing all these kind things. It could be why it’s annoying her too because I think jinju is looking for a more balance relationship with doyeon because maybe jinju is realizing she might end up staying with doyeon when her husband comes back. So she wants doyeon to treat her as more equal in the relationship because she does want a more partner/romantic relationship with doyeon? Of course these two don’t communicate so they’re just expressing themselves through sex lmao

I believe Doyeon is honest with her selflessness towards Junji in everything but in sex. When it comes to sex, she lost control a few times and ended up being pretty rough. Jinju must know she can't possibly repay all the help she got from Doyeon, but is also not giving the only thing she knows Doyeon wants so much, she loses control over.
I don't think Doyeon would want Jinju to repay her in any way, but the "give/take" balance is there, and it would be normal to feel guilty about it.

 

[Cyn.bot]

while it's on... i like to dream big

You call that dreaming big?
Listen... let's not think about places. I know it sound crazy, but what about... Doyeon taking her clothes off? Or even better, Junji taking Doyeon clothes off?
Thanks for the chapter Jazkin!!

 

[jazkin]

Doyeon taking her clothes off?

Junji taking Doyeon clothes off?

man... i'm just...praying...

 

[HolySatan]

Doyeon is a huge perfectionist and ngl, 2 weeks is a big deal for most. And I'm sure she would have been able to continue holding back if Jinju hadn't pulled her in. Doyeon is really the type to put her mind to something and go through with it, huh. I'd bet that also means that Doyeon takes failure/mistakes poorly. Throughout the series, I remember that kind of dialogue sprinkled a bit everywhere, just a lot of regrets and "I shouldn't have done this", "I should have stopped", "there's no turning back now that I've really hit rock bottom".
The way Doyeon always smiles, the way she always helps others in need, the way she brushes everything off and never wants for anything. Doyeon has insane self control, and is very good at repressing herself. For better and for worse. (hehe Jinju is the only one who can pierce through that armour and get under her skin)
I agree with you that it hurts. It makes my heart feel heavy, seeing Doyeon continuously hold herself to such impossible standards.

Yes nicely said, doyeon is a huge perfectionist. You’re right doyeon is also someone with an incredible amount of self control. I mean she’s pulled an all nighter and walked it off, I could never 😂. So we can imagine doyeons utter shock when she’s realized that the one thing she can’t seem to control is her desire to fuck jinju. Sex at its core is the combination of two peoples love and lust for each other (of course not always, but for this manga that’s how I’m defining sex because it is a romance manga). And you can’t hide your love/lust for someone, eventually it will show up. Now the biggest question that I have that I don’t seem to have an answer is why has jinju also been holding herself back? Was she shy or something? Did she also want to try to keep the distances between them because she’s a married women? Whatever the case is, the married women gave in first. For jinju it felt weird to not have sex. And you know what type of relationships are weird when first starting out and not having sex outside of asexusal ones? ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS. These gays are in deep and they both know it but they don’t realize to what extent.

She also seemed to view the sex as a transaction before but now she's realizing that she actually enjoys it and desires it (coupled with her realization from last chapter).

I do agree that jinjus understanding of romantic love has been completely torn apart and she’s having to redefine it. I think at first jinju figured the sex would be transactional, like at the very beginning. But after the first time they had sex it wasn’t like that from then on. I mean jinju was absolutely shocked to have an orgasm and listen it was doyeons first time so it’s not like she’s some master sex guru. Jinju needed to have some attraction to doyeon. It was mutual attraction, I mean jinju wasn’t even pushing doyeon away when she just kissed her. You could say it was shock but I mean doyeon did leave a hicky so it went on for a little bit. The thing is, jinju was starting to do more stuff for doyeon but now it seems like doyeon kind of pushed her away for the last two weeks. Honestly if doyeon was so worried about the husband, then why didn’t she just have a straight up talk with jinju asking what she would do if her husband comes back. Like is the husband going to wait until doyeon and jinju define their relationship before coming back?? Like i swear after the next chapter of they end up having wild sex then I don’t think he’s gonna get her back. Overall I do think jinju is more worried about doyeon because doyeon has been pushing her away in doyeons own way and jinju Can sense it.

know I'm late to the discussion, but my take on the "I dont want to need anyone/ I want to be needed", has to do with the fact that, even if she doesn’t like it, she is relying on her parents money for her education and apartment expenses.
Gunwoo talks about being a pillar for Doyeon, but what Doyeon wants is to be a pillar for Jinju to rely on. That means, of course, not depending on her parents (or anyone).

Thats a very interesting take on it. I can see that being a thing, like doyeon just wants jinju to rely on her more and doesn’t want to be in debt like her husband.

a few times and ended up being pretty rough. Jinju must know she can't possibly repay all the help she got from Doyeon, but is also not giving the only thing she knows Doyeon wants so much, she loses control over.

Jinju wanted the sex. Was it because she felt indebted to doyeon? Maybe but doyeon did note that jinju was wet the moment she touched her meaning that she was getting wet while doyeon wasn’t even there. I think we will get more clarification in the next chapter or maybe just more sex idk.

 

[Cyn.bot]

Yes nicely said, doyeon is a huge perfectionist. You’re right doyeon is also someone with an incredible amount of self control. I mean she’s pulled an all nighter and walked it off, I could never 😂. So we can imagine doyeons utter shock when she’s realized that the one thing she can’t seem to control is her desire to fuck jinju. Sex at its core is the combination of two peoples love and lust for each other (of course not always, but for this manga that’s how I’m defining sex because it is a romance manga). And you can’t hide your love/lust for someone, eventually it will show up. Now the biggest question that I have that I don’t seem to have an answer is why has jinju also been holding herself back? Was she shy or something? Did she also want to try to keep the distances between them because she’s a married women? Whatever the case is, the married women gave in first. For jinju it felt weird to not have sex. And you know what type of relationships are weird when first starting out and not having sex outside of asexusal ones? ROMANTIC RELATIONSHIPS. These gays are in deep and they both know it but they don’t realize to what extent.
I do agree that jinjus understanding of romantic love has been completely torn apart and she’s having to redefine it. I think at first jinju figured the sex would be transactional, like at the very beginning. But after the first time they had sex it wasn’t like that from then on. I mean jinju was absolutely shocked to have an orgasm and listen it was doyeons first time so it’s not like she’s some master sex guru. Jinju needed to have some attraction to doyeon. It was mutual attraction, I mean jinju wasn’t even pushing doyeon away when she just kissed her. You could say it was shock but I mean doyeon did leave a hicky so it went on for a little bit. The thing is, jinju was starting to do more stuff for doyeon but now it seems like doyeon kind of pushed her away for the last two weeks. Honestly if doyeon was so worried about the husband, then why didn’t she just have a straight up talk with jinju asking what she would do if her husband comes back. Like is the husband going to wait until doyeon and jinju define their relationship before coming back?? Like i swear after the next chapter of they end up having wild sex then I don’t think he’s gonna get her back. Overall I do think jinju is more worried about doyeon because doyeon has been pushing her away in doyeons own way and jinju Can sense it.

The way I see it, she just admitted to herself that she may like Doyeon, but maybe went into denial after that. Like "let's not make things worse from my side".

Jinju wanted the sex. Was it because she felt indebted to doyeon? Maybe but doyeon did note that jinju was wet the moment she touched her meaning that she was getting wet while doyeon wasn’t even there.

Oh yes! I didn't mean she didn't want to have sex with Doyeon, just that she wasn't giving it to her. She's definitely horny for Doyeon. The one who lost the "restrain competition" wasn't Doyeon, it was Jinju.

I think we will get more clarification in the next chapter or maybe just more sex idk.

 

[Jhosy]

Jinju: 'I'm doing it to pay back for all the help'. Also Jinju: " she is crazy about sex but I'm in control". Jinju: " maybe I like her a little?". Jinju: " Why isn't she having sex with me?".
Damn, I love how things turned around. 🤭

 

[HolySatan]

The way I see it, she just admitted to herself that she may like Doyeon, but maybe went into denial after that. Like "let's not make things worse from my side".


Oh yes! I didn't mean she didn't want to have sex with Doyeon, just that she wasn't giving it to her. She's definitely horny for Doyeon. The one who lost the "restrain competition" wasn't Doyeon, it was Jinju.

Lmao this is the first time jinju tries to purposely seduce doyeon. And it’s the first time we see jinju kiss doyeon in another part of her body. Idk if jinju was just kissing doyeons wound but maybe she was trying to leave a hicky around doyeons wound but doyeon got a bit excited? So yeah jinju lost the restraint game first. I wonder if doyeon is still going to continue trying to restrain herself after this. Also why is it that doyeon was planning on not having sex back even if jinju wanted it?

A side note I realized but I think it’s kind of funny. The priest is talking about how great doyeon is and basically it seems like he’s comparing her to a saint. And then jinju gets a flashback of doyeon in bed with her and fucking jinju like a wild animal 😂😂.

 

[Indigosky]

Perhaps Doyeon paying the debts of Jinju that why they no longer hiding thier identity when they go out the hous Thank you for the updates.🥰🥰🥰

 

[emoles]

Perhaps Doyeon paying the debts of Jinju that why they no longer hiding thier identity when they go out the hous Thank you for the updates.🥰🥰🥰

wow i didn’t even think of that possibility. i was thinking that maybe doyeon was saving so she could move away with jinju after graduating to make sure she’s finally safe. she probably wants to pay for a place with her own money instead of using her parent’s, especially after her sister guilt tripped her about it. (at least that’s what i’m hoping happens lol) but that could also be true

 

[hitmeup1129]

Doyeon 2 weeks ago lol

 

[quorramoon]

Guys how did doyen handle not having sex with jinju like DAMNNN

She's collecting the dowery

 

[slxsxm]

You call that dreaming big?
Listen... let's not think about places. I know it sound crazy, but what about... Doyeon taking her clothes off? Or even better, Junji taking Doyeon clothes off?
Thanks for the chapter Jazkin!!

doyeon taking her clothes off... thats peak perfromance fr

 

[slxsxm]

THANK YOU JAZKIN!!! also the oiling meme at the end LMAO

 

[Empyrette310]

This chapter made me super uncomfortable, not because of the mounting tension. BUT BECAUSE OF WET F*CKING SLEEVES!!!!

 

[PowderBlue7]

I hope Jinju throws that raggedy crusty skirt, I can't take it anymore, the skirt has to go

 

[jazkin]

I hope Jinju throws that raggedy crusty skirt, I can't take it anymore, the skirt has to go

it's for easier pussy access 🕵️‍♀️

 

[HolySatan]

it's for easier pussy access

Jazkin how do you buy the raws on bomtoon?