Rea is very conflicted here. She wanted to remember more, but Shien is intentionally leaving information and the medicine out, and wanted to leave her as pure as she is, and Rea loves Shien, so she really doesn’t want to defy her intentions just to sneakpeek into those memories.
However, on the other hand, she also want to contribute to the other witches as the first family she’s had in a long time (It shows during her introspection seeing the welcoming party built just for her, plus her incredibly skilled origami technique and drawing skills) and more importantly, she wants to belong somewhere (preferably aside Shien, of course) and remain here with them.
She believes all she needs is to gain her magical powers back to be useful and valued again. And to do that, she needs to figure out the origin of her memories and who she was through that cigarette medicine, without Shien’s filters this time.
This is very exciting. I’m very eager to see how will her conflicts grow and what will eventually prompt her to smoke the cigarette and settle this once and for all, plus how will she react if she recovered her traumas but not her powers at all (which is what I suspect to happen because her powers are kinda op to be kept around, not to mention all her hard-earned money would be practically worthless if she does).
Thanks for the translation and looking forward to the next chapter!