Maou ni Natta node, Dungeon Tsukutte Jingai Musume to Honobono suru

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Nice work in translating all those shakespeare speak lol

Good to see regular updates
 
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'Zounds! I speak not the language of Zipang
And know but little of the woes and pangs
That fardel those who bravely transcribe
These merry mirthful tales of wits and gibe,
Yet I must stand and outcry - Why thou durst
Th'entire conjugation tear and burst!
However canst thou "thee" and "thou" confound?
Why to elisions art thou always bound?
And 'zblood, must thou the bare verb form inflect?
Wilt thou truly besmirch our intellect
As so thou didst, alas! with Shakespeare's tongue?
The num'rous faults, the many spellings wrong'd,
The thousand maimed words so ill declensed-
Praythee! No more! My bleeding eyes be cleansed!
An cometh my remark not in thy ken
Or wilt thou still not hold thy hasty pen
Woe unto thee! Thy grammar so irketh
I cannot read a word Lefi speaketh!


Jokes aside, I'm grateful for any translation but translator-san might want to look more into Shakespearean English. What we have right now manages to be both inaccurate and distractingly hard to read.
 
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@Lomyr I'm not entirely sure it's just the translators fault. Even the light novel version, Lefi's speech is weird. It makes me wonder if there's no proper way to translate it from the older japanese.
 
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May 6, 2018
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yup, lefi speech has me scratchin me head since its so far off the beaten english track
 
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@Scynix I haven't read the raws (I don't really understand Japanese), so perhaps Lefi has a weird wording in the original, i dunno. Cardboard tl, who translates either the wn or the ln, chose to have her speak kinda like a character from a Jane Austen novel, so her speech reminds me more or less of a 19th century noble girl.

What I'm stressing here is slightly different from "the Japanese is hard to translate", what I point out is "the English result is a mess". From what I understand, translators generally use Shakespeare's English to convey that some characters speak in an old-fashioned manner; which is fine if done correctly, but here Lefi's speech is riddled with grammatical mistakes. Unless the original author decided to have Lefi sound like a retard, there is no reason to misuse Shakespeare's English like that.
Just to highlight this point, take for instance this actual sentence:
"How art thee guys willing to payeth f'r this..."
First off, 'thee' is an accusative pronoun, just like 'me'. Using it as a subject sounds as bad as "Me want to eat"; the correct form would be 'thou'.
Second, "thou" is a singular pronoun, so you can't use it to refer to multiple persons at once, as is suggested here with "thee all". If any archaic pronoun is to be used, it should be "ye"; taking back the previous example, that's just as wrong as saying "I all want to eat" instead of "We want to eat".
Third, weirdly enough, the infinitive "to payeth" is conjugated with a third person singular. A modern English mistake of the sort would be "I want to eats".
Fourth, a random letter in 'for' is dropped, why? It makes sense in the case of poetry, but here it's just random.
Put it all together, and you get something that's just as bad English as would be writing "Me all want t' eats" instead of "we want to eat". And that's just a single line picked at random. At this stage, it's probably better to just drop the Shakespearean English altogether or to actually spend some time studying what it ought to be like. There's no shame in not mastering some variant of English that's around half a millenium old, but it's kinda pointless to half-assedly wing it like that.

TL;DR: Unless Lefi is meant to be some random low IQ troll lost in the 1600's, her lines just shows that the translator has no knowledge of Shakespearean English; it's painful to read and probably painful to type in as well.
 
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Seriously tone down the attempts at medieval pronunciation. I know what effect they’re going for, but it is not done correctly. Stop replacing vowels with a ‘ to make it seem like she is speaking in an archaic way. It does not have the desired effect. Not to mention the fact that most of the old-English phrases and specifically verbs are being used entirely incorrectly here and much too often making reading this annoying and her speech extremely repetitive.
 
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Translator, just keep going with the old style English in Lefi's bubbles. People don't understand? Try harder to read then!
 
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I second @monkey123's request. It's supposed to be archaic Japanese in the original or something right? Shakespearean English is considered the equivalent. I will agree, though, that the removal of certain vowels is a bit excessive an unnecessary. Keeping it to the lingo is plenty enough. Anyone who's read "Taming Of The Shrew" or "Much Ado About Nothing" will know what I mean.
 
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Ass non english speaker this version help me better
Old english is annoying for non english speaker not because i am not understant what she said but because it make my brain spinning for translatting the word that i am rarely see
 
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Yeah I like the new version too. I understand the desire to convey the usage of more formal speech but I think that's better done with a few choice expressions and maybe a different font rather than forcing it and making it sound more of a parody.
 
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Please, if you really must use early modern English, at least do it correctly!
There is hardly a sentence without a terrible mistake :-(
 

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