No, using the guy as a beard for years, leading him on, and then dumping him without proper explanation is not forgivable just because she lived in a less accepting/homophobic society.
no, your trauma, personal/societal circumstances are NOT a shield that you can use to deflect criticism of your shitty actions and behaviors. Be a better person or fuck off away from the rest of us thanks.
No, your personal labels and identifiers do not mean you are immune to criticism of your actions, opinions, or beliefs. Just because you've faced hardships doesn't mean you can act like a dick to innocent people around you.
No, you do not get to use then discard people for your own personal desires, your friends and loved ones are not disposable just because you feel you've had enough character development.