@sirflimflam
It's true that even though in the core we're still quite similar to out teenage selves, we do change, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing in a relationship with an age gap, like many thing it depends a lot on context, and I truly believe there can be really healthy and good relationship regardless of age gap. One of the main problems in cases where the age gap doesn't act as an unhealthy thing in itself, is probably the stigma carried with it, that might end up making the relationship self destructive,, because it might cost you many things, family members might shun you, or in cases like the manga where one is underage it might lead to prison, or loosing your job etc, and that would not only force you to separate in many cases, even if it doesn't it would put a huge strain on the relationship that can lead to a lot of issues.
But honestly if I had to compare to my current self to my 16yo self, if I was to fall in love with a girl the age of Koto (it's really just an hypothetical situation I'm doing great with my 5y partner that is slightly older than me) I think i'd be a much better partner that I would have been at 16yo. Sometimes teenage boys being immature, inexperienced, and less self-aware can be really toxic partners, and even though I never did something really awful with my partners around that age, and certainly not on purpose, but I'm not exactly proud either of how I handled my relationships, lack of self-confidence in part, not being fully aware of how certain actions affected others in other cases. If I was a 16yo girl I would rather date the current me that the 16yo me.
The problem is that it all depends on context, and it is true that with a big age gap like in the manga, if the adult person is a really toxic partner he can exert a lot more influence, and it's probably more dangerous to date an abusive 30yo than an abusive 16yo. But let's not pretend that abusive 16yo don't exist, it's totally possible to get into extremely toxic relationships between teenagers.
We as a society tend to try and protect the younger, and perhaps all in all it is better to condemn relationship with large age gaps for their sake, but life isn't white and black, and some teenagers might get traumatized for the rest of their life by an relationship with someone their own age, just as they might find an adult with whom they develop honest feelings, and I don't see anything that would make it inherently bad as long as both people's feelings are honest.
When you see 15yo's getting pregnant and ending up as single moms because their 16yo boyfriend bailed on them, and struggle for the rest of their life to find a partner that accept to raise their child, I really don't think dating someone their own age is always harmless and safe as compared to someone older, there's always a risk to relationships, and it's not because some relationships are by nature riskier that they're *always* bad. If the relationship already started, and it's a healthy relationship that brings both of them some measure of happiness, are we supposed to condemn them just because there's an age gap when there's absolutely nothing wrong besides that fact?
It's true that even though in the core we're still quite similar to out teenage selves, we do change, but that isn't necessarily a bad thing in a relationship with an age gap, like many thing it depends a lot on context, and I truly believe there can be really healthy and good relationship regardless of age gap. One of the main problems in cases where the age gap doesn't act as an unhealthy thing in itself, is probably the stigma carried with it, that might end up making the relationship self destructive,, because it might cost you many things, family members might shun you, or in cases like the manga where one is underage it might lead to prison, or loosing your job etc, and that would not only force you to separate in many cases, even if it doesn't it would put a huge strain on the relationship that can lead to a lot of issues.
But honestly if I had to compare to my current self to my 16yo self, if I was to fall in love with a girl the age of Koto (it's really just an hypothetical situation I'm doing great with my 5y partner that is slightly older than me) I think i'd be a much better partner that I would have been at 16yo. Sometimes teenage boys being immature, inexperienced, and less self-aware can be really toxic partners, and even though I never did something really awful with my partners around that age, and certainly not on purpose, but I'm not exactly proud either of how I handled my relationships, lack of self-confidence in part, not being fully aware of how certain actions affected others in other cases. If I was a 16yo girl I would rather date the current me that the 16yo me.
The problem is that it all depends on context, and it is true that with a big age gap like in the manga, if the adult person is a really toxic partner he can exert a lot more influence, and it's probably more dangerous to date an abusive 30yo than an abusive 16yo. But let's not pretend that abusive 16yo don't exist, it's totally possible to get into extremely toxic relationships between teenagers.
We as a society tend to try and protect the younger, and perhaps all in all it is better to condemn relationship with large age gaps for their sake, but life isn't white and black, and some teenagers might get traumatized for the rest of their life by an relationship with someone their own age, just as they might find an adult with whom they develop honest feelings, and I don't see anything that would make it inherently bad as long as both people's feelings are honest.
When you see 15yo's getting pregnant and ending up as single moms because their 16yo boyfriend bailed on them, and struggle for the rest of their life to find a partner that accept to raise their child, I really don't think dating someone their own age is always harmless and safe as compared to someone older, there's always a risk to relationships, and it's not because some relationships are by nature riskier that they're *always* bad. If the relationship already started, and it's a healthy relationship that brings both of them some measure of happiness, are we supposed to condemn them just because there's an age gap when there's absolutely nothing wrong besides that fact?
