the translation is not 100% correct? are you using MTL? i see that your group bio is in indonesian, do you not have a JP translator?
also you should really get a native english proofreader
pg3:
"beutiful" -> "beautiful"
"knit-" -> should be "stare" or "glare", translation is off
"gaps" -> "gasp"
"you must be very helped as her father" -> ???
pg4:
"hriip" -> whatever you want a horse neighing to sound like, just not whatever this is
pg7:
minor but same with the sheep onomatopoeia
pg10:
"[forget it]" -> スルー is more like "ignore it"
"it must be hard for you to move, yeah." -> weird phrasing when you turned "ね!" into "yeah."
pg14:
"kid" -> text is "お嬢ちゃん", young lady
"it's enough" -> text is "これでいい" so "this is fine" or "that will do"
pg24:
"it's hurt" -> "it hurts"
"compared to them" -> "compared to the usual guys" from "いつもの奴ら"
pg25:
"i'm look so damn ridiculous" -> "i look so damn ridiculous/lame" from "ダサ"
pg28:
"professor is here" -> "the professor is over here"
pg29:
"cip cip" -> "chirp chirp"
pg30:
"profesor" -> "professor"