Holy fucking cinema T_T
That was brilliantly written, I love Xingyuan speaking for Xiaoen here. She's trying so hard to protect Xiaoen's heart from any further pain. Why should Xiaoen have to hear "I'm sorry for abandoning you 30 years ago?" It's too little, too late. Saying sorry now would be selfish.
Say you're thankful she helped your kid suffering from emotional abuse find an escape and acceptance. Thank her for making your hometown a better place for everyone. Thank her for being so damn amazing even while carrying such a painful weight on her back her whole life.