"This is baddd it was super erotic and interesting and I GOT A BONERRRRR----!!!!" or "This is baddd it was super erotic and interesting and my D*CK STOOD UP---!!!!" vs "It's hot as fuckkkk!!!"
This is what I read in the raws vs your translation.
I can understand the part about the boyfriend describing her girlfriend as a "yuusha" being difficult to convey in english, but you're turning 勃ちかけたあああああ into chopped liver. IMO this is the biggest point in the speech bubble because the author took care to make this sentence's font bigger, but your translation of the word 勃ち is entirely skipped. Also, there isn't a break in his lines right? He's pretty much in the gibberish territory, so do you really think that the line "it's hot as fuckkkk" really captured his flustered behavior?
You should at least make his reaction on the level of DONT WATCH AN ANIME CALLED BOKU. 🙃