I think your translations works in this chapter were great! I was only confused a bit for the way you used "FML" XD, I woulda phrased it something like: "FML~ This totally ain't it!" or something like that...
Yeah, you probably could have used some 90s slang like "Ugh, as if~" or "Total buzzkill~" over FML. FML is still in use enough that I don't think anyone really associates it with the 00s.
Aye. We of the Localization Liberation Front always have crosses and nails at the ready for scoundrels taking away our jirai-keis and throwing out ayyo fams for the hell of it. Just be glad it wasn't the People's Front of Nippon that got to you first.