Look I'm going to try a different angle this time and try and meet people where they are. And I'm going to start with what I consider to be a fair defense of the use of the word "trap".
I get why it's a fun word to refer to a crossdressing character. First of all, trap is by itself a great word. It's short,
punchy. It has a loud
AP sound. I also will even concede that
I don't think it's a slur in the operative sense that otherwise classifies a slur. I've only ever heard it used in a hateful insulting way a tiny handful of times by young angry people in a voice chat. And finally, every possible alternative to "trap" does kinda not feel as satisfying or punchy. "Femboi" kind of has a flippant tone to it. "Otokonoko" is four syllables long and it's like driving over gravel to the English tongue. "Boy daughter" is cute and the literal definition of otokonoko but it also sounds kinda odd. "Crossdresser" is both vague and as descriptive as tapwater for the general fun manic energy of the otokonoko media genre. I don't blame people for wanting to stick to the punchy fun word.
Finally, it does evoke a classic comedy trope of the Unsettling Gender Reveal:
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/UnsettlingGenderReveal
I get it. And I see those points. (albeit I do think this old timey genre of comedy is problematic for similar reasons but I'm yapping enough as it is. I'll say that Minato is a breath of fresh air compared to say Hideri from Blend-S.)
So what's the problem? Well, everything I said the other day. The most minor of which (but still not insignificant) is that it frames beautiful gender subversion as coming ultimately down to the feelings or surprise of a normal gender typical person. Often a straight guy. Which, well... that's a whole discussion by itself vis-a-vis the anchoring of the media landscape and the ubiquity of the everyman. But the big one is that, yes, "trap" does indeed invoke powerful painful memories in the LGBT community. Murder cases indeed been thrown out because a gay or trans person got straight up merked by a straight person claiming they felt endangered/entrapped by someone who was crossdressing.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gay_and_trans_panic_defense
And no, I've only ever seen "trap" come up in the court proceedings to one of these cases. And I forget the specific one anyway. The term itself remains relatively innocent in the cheeky/fun way I described in the first paragraph in the way most of you use it.
And I get how annoying it is for people to come in and tell you to stop having fun or enjoying something. Or feeling like you're being talked down to or being told what to do by people from a community you might not have interacted with as much. Like hostilities are being declared or something, some kind of power play. Nah. That isn't my angle at all. You're valid, I'm valid. And I know I'm being a downer by pointing out this is a pain point for the LGBT community. But it is.
But I'll say this -- I wouldn't speak up about this at all if I didn't respect you all enough to believe you would listen to my side. I'd just keep my head down because that's considerably safer.