At first I thought it was a fool's errand for Rei to keep erasing the miasma coming from people who are going through bad times. They'll feel better momentarily, then remember why they were having a bad time and the miasma comes back. It's like drinking to forget your sorrows and when you return to sobriety you remember why you were drinking in the first place, and the sorrows return.
Then I remember she has to spend her magic power somehow, because it's bad for it to build up, and this also doubles as an anonymous act of kindness (if temporary) to strangers. I just hope that man was not someone plotting to do bad things instead of someone suffering through bad times.
Page 10:
"I doesn't remember" -> "I don't remember"
"You saves money" -> " You save money"
Page 11:
"THANK!!" -> "THANKS!!" or "THANK YOU!!"
These grammar points aside, not a bad job on this chapter. I can see the improvement in the English compared to Chapter 1. 頑張れ!
My vote would go to "wow-ish" as a translation rather than straight-up using romaji (which is not translation at all). The suffix "-ish" works with "-poi" if you ask me. For example, the song title 神っぽいな is often translated to "God-ish" for its English title.
Also, using hyphens to detach honorifics from names would be great, as another user mentioned.
For example, "Rei-san" looks better to me because it makes me think of a person (Ms. Rei) rather than Reisan, which to me honestly sometimes looks like a name for a mountain (Mt. Rei)
Thank you so mush for feedback and correction
is it really ok to translate to "wow-ish"? I'm not english speaker still think it so weird never heard anyone use it once 😆
some japanese women using っぽい thus ( at least ppl I know that not elder, early 30 still use that ) like こどもっぽい
Well there new japanese word all the time(off book)
Do you think changed dialogue on this part acceptable? I think most people didn't notice if I don't talk about it
because うわーっぽい and かっけー not much difference anyway(Kirara kinda boyish anyway)
OH! Kirara called her Rei-San becuase she younger, personally still no idea why need hyphens when japanese ppl using honorifics nobody say name paused then honorifics but since ppl recommend I will do it next chapter
I still not sure when to use -s on english word but I will google it again
Ps. sorry for reply so late, and all fixed!
Presumably a fellow non-native English speaker, just wanna say that I understand the pain of preserving the original context while trying to make it looks natural as possible. You got this, translator-san, ganbare!
Thank you so much for encouragement! I think I can try to use ChatGPT to help me correct grammar but it's troublesome and when I compare it with my translation, I think AI didn't understand context and a bit off
When I translate this project I read it once to get the story
2nd time I read and write down original japanese dialogue together with english translate on note
3rd time is when I type it on image, I could try to check it with AI before type it down
but honestly I'm just lazy so please bear with me 😆
3 times sound like get interrogate by police? 😆