Good for a first effort!
A few things, though:
1. You need to work on your phrasing. Don't try to match how you write your translations to the Japanese sentence structure because English grammar is drastically different from Japanese grammar. Work with the target language in mind more than anything else. You can revise the lines to make them sound more natural in the language you're translating to. For example, for page 8, you could have worded the teacher's dialog as "I'm a bit busy because the term is ending." instead.
2. You need to get better fonts. Wild Words is okay as the standard dialog font, but using Manga Temple is a no-no. A common technique for panels with shouting is to just use your main font, but make it bold. It does wonders for your consistency. As a rule, if the original Japanese text doesn't switch fonts, neither should you.
3. Text in parentheses are there to serve as the "reading" of the Japanese text that overrides what's actually written in the bubble. No need to translate both, just the one that works better for the situation.
4. Don't try to fill up the whole bubble. A little white space will give your text breathing room. It's also important to keep your main text as consistent in size as possible within a page. You can deviate from this standard by +/-2pt, but only if there's too much or too little space in your bubble.
Good luck in your future releases,
@KingSnowman8!