She Doesn't Know Why She Lives. - Vol. 1 Ch. 13 - Absent-minded Identity

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Holy shit Excor, glad you picked this up
I can relate to her anxiety problems :(
 
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Someone send Gridman’s fixer beam to heal this broken woman, hot damn she needs it more than this small amount of healing.
 
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as a psychiatrist i can assure you that every single person have those thoughts, like south park said in it's last season, every one has anxiety. So don't feel useless just because you haven't figured out your life or things are going bad, just follow the advise given in this chapter.
 
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does anyone know the title page 15? the one with the girls and the food.

ok nvm found it Haru to Ao no Obentou Bako
and it's girl apparently.
 
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Good manga, many thanks to the translators and I'll wait warmly for the next volume!
 
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This seems so mirroring.
Ty for translating and hoping for vol 2 to be released soon
 
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This manga is depressing to read

It means insta-follow. I'll be reading it on breaks between crying sessions 。゚(。ノωヽ。)゚。
 
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@IJustMadeThisToComment wait six months to watch Avengers Endgame then just see where life takes me after that.

I'm gonna ask another question. If, at the end of your life. you look back to notice zero participation in the progress of society as a whole, would you think your life is worth it? Because you are essentially useless. You brought no change, good or bad, to mankind as a species and you will be forgotten as if you never existed.

To me, that's even worse than hell.
 
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@DANDAN_THE_DANDAN

Do we have to change things?
Do we have to make an impact?

Maybe it's different for other people, but I don't have much interest in making an impact or much of a contribution to society.
I want to contribute because it would probably benefit me, but other than that, I don't feel like it matters much to me.

I think it's enough to just have lived. Perhaps that sounds kinda cliché or lame, but it's not like we exist for some greater purpose, or at least that's what I think. The sole purpose of your existence isn't to contribute to society. The chances of you existing are practically 0- something like 1 in 10^2,685,000. That's a pretty remarkable coincidence, right? Think of all the things that had to happen in the past to result in the person that you are now. Not just in your life, but before you were alive, to your ancestors and to the world before that. It's pretty hard to imagine. You're a pretty cool existence, y'know, even if there is a lot of other people.

There's a lotta things I don't like about myself, and things aren't always easy, but in the end, I'm glad that I'm alive and experiencing life. Even if I'm wasting my life away, or having a breakdown, I'm still living. If I am living, then I have a capacity for change. I can get better. I'm glad that I am me. I'm just glad that I'm able to live in this world to see, smell, and hear things.

I'm fine with being forgotten, I'm fine with no one remembering me. We're all forgotten somewhere down the line anyway. It doesn't matter if to others in the future I never existed, I existed to myself. I was alive, and I lived my own life. You can decide your own worth, your own life purpose, and what you want to do with yourself. If you want to contribute to society, you can try to do that. If you want to please others and make someone proud, that's okay too. Do what you want (hopefully within moral reason). If you don't have much of an idea (I don't really), what's wrong with just living? Do we have to have a profound purpose to enjoy life? It's okay if your current worth isn't what you want it to be, it's fine if you're not wholly confident in yourself, it's fine if you're never achieve the happiness and goals that you dream of, and it's fine if you're never completely what you want to be. No one will be able to achieve everything within a lifetime.

I can't remember where I heard this analogy, but let's say that life is a video game. If you could just go straight to the end of the game, meet the boss, and defeat it straight away, although it might feel pretty great for a little bit, but it wouldn't be as fun as the whole journey of the game, right? It wouldn't feel as meaningful or rewarding as if you had actually experienced the story and worked to level up. The end goal isn't what the game is about. It's about the journey.

But even if you toll and play through a game in its entirety, after you've finished it, what do you do? Once you reach a goal, you make new ones. You play new games, or you go do something else. You will never be satisfied with your life after you achieve the goal you have in mind. You'll always want something more. You won't be fulfilled forever after you achieve something. So, if that's the case, why not enjoy the journey?

Having existed being sometimes happy, and sometimes sad, is better than not ever having existing at all.
:>
 
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@Rei-is-Lei

Wow. Didn't expect so many words.

Anyways, your philosophy in life is amazing. I don't want to ruin it for you although my overthinking gets the best of me.

I'm scared that because the sperm which eventually became me reached the egg first, another sperm which is supposed to be the next Einstein failed to be born.

I'm scared that because I am too happy with myself, I forget to help others, which eventually Butterfly Effect its way towards the death of millions of people somehow someway.

I'm scared that I'm not good enough for even myself; my expectations.

I realize that if all these is possible, then the opposite must be as likely.

The sperm that failed to fertilize the egg because of me could have been the next Hittler.

The person that I failed to help could be a serial killer whose death saves many more lives.

My self-crippling thoughts and expectations could be the motivation I needed to create a brand new innovation which will change the world.

I realize that by simply existing, the entire world has changed. What I don't realize is wether my existence is a positive thing or not.

And what I fear most is not failing at the boss stage of this video game called life; it is the fear that the boss' defeat has no purpose in the first place.

I'm fine if my life has an impact; positive or negative; but no impact at all? Then what is the purpose of existing?

It's even worst when you think about how in the future, your impacts will be covered up by history and technology. We now have the power of knowledge, light, communication, alarms, entertainment, and so many other various thing inside the palm of our hands: our mobile phones. Imagine how many people this gadget has put out of job; how many technological advances has been deemed "antique"" because of this? Then imagine how many more gadgets in the coming future will follow our phones' footsteps of firing millions of people and putting technologies into rest?

And what if you are one of the person that suffers a loss from this new miracle tech?

That's what scares me.

I know I'm overthinking this but I can't help myself. Hope you enjoyed my wall of text.
 

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