@redsea @ElBichoRaro I quite understand about it, although it's little bit too much for using example fried rice and spicy food, probably to show clearly how society in Japan works (indeed Japan emphasis on social harmony). It's also furiating that they invited her and not asking her first if spicy food okay for her or not, and for her ruining the atmosphere a bit, they shouldn't make her to apologise; probably because they thought she should be grateful that they invited them to have lunch together (because alone usually described as a person had problem or sucks).
It might be tmi, but once I experienced the same thing, indeed the atmosphere turned sour a bit cause my friends and I felt bad for this particular person
failed to have an enjoyable lunch (no rice in japanese restaurant, very limited menu to choose) and we felt quite weird since we're friend and that person didn't say anything while we're discussing where to eat together (they didn't be excluded like her in this situation). Still no apologise was needed from both party. We asked if they're full or need to go for a snack.
For this situation, they should understand her and when the food came, they should let her taste a bit (a spoon).