I think the problem I and a lot of people have is that the plot went a route that both feels a little forced and lacking in drama. Okay, she doesn't want to cause him problems forcing a relationship she's personally invested in. Then why force this longtime separation and risk everything playing out like the book? Even if he just has a passing crush on her, what reason does she have to believe he won't start a rebellion over the hero and heroine's romance? It seems like she's just waiting on her hands for things to go wrong, and it's boring to watch her remove herself from relevancy.
From a writing perspective, it just seems more interesting to have them confirm their feelings and try to work out their relationship in this rigid and highly politicized culture. We know it's going to happen, so why force this interim?