Dex-chan lover
- Joined
- Dec 7, 2018
- Messages
- 3,676
I feel bad for the person drawing this trash.
Stalker x Stalker
- Thread starter MangaDex
- Start date
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2018
- Messages
- 218
This is quite funny to read, thanks for making it!
- Joined
- Dec 3, 2018
- Messages
- 218
Ignoring the negative replies, still find this really fun to read.
Dex-chan lover
- Joined
- Jan 18, 2018
- Messages
- 1,896
The concept has a ton of top-tier comedy/drama potential but I don’t think the author is properly capitalizing on it. I’d like to see a continuous story with fleshed-out characters, rather than one-off 4komas.
- Joined
- Nov 9, 2018
- Messages
- 2
The concept is legitimate gold but the execution is total garbage do a WEBTOON or a manga style but not this shit.
This comment is basically just a repost of a rant I made on reddit. I didn't really want to post this here, cause it seemed easier to just let it die, but *apparently* there is a "new" one called "Yandere vs. Yandere", and it is exactly what I feared and I feel the need to post this here now. Luckily, I know now to use some "tl;dr"s and there are spoiler tags on MD (though, I hope I don't mess up with it, cince it is the first time I am using MD's commenting system... though I think I can edit it, if necessary), so it should look cleaner... Having said that, this is mostly a copy/paste of that rant, so some things might seem off. (I haven't read it in a while, alright.)
Having said that, seeing as it *is* a rant and is mostly criticizing this, feel free to ignore it, hate it, whatever. (Seeing as there isn't a downvote here, can't really tell you to do that, if you'd like) (though, if anyone does read it, that's appreciated)
edit: Oh, right, someone asked before if that rant was partially because I didn't want "webcomics" the reddit, so I'll add that I think they are/were fine, and still think they belong there
1) Felt this was made out to be something its not
2) Criticisms in general, where I felt it failed and why.
3) Giving potential ideas for a premise like this
4) Trying to be considerate to the series or give benefit of the doubt, etc
5) summary/closing
Alright, hopefully that worked
Having said that, seeing as it *is* a rant and is mostly criticizing this, feel free to ignore it, hate it, whatever. (Seeing as there isn't a downvote here, can't really tell you to do that, if you'd like) (though, if anyone does read it, that's appreciated)
edit: Oh, right, someone asked before if that rant was partially because I didn't want "webcomics" the reddit, so I'll add that I think they are/were fine, and still think they belong there
1) Felt this was made out to be something its not
(I wrote this little section *after* the others, but am putting it here first, because it's probably more important.)
This may seem weird that I am ranting about this small, kinda inconsequential "series", but it serves more purpose for that. I guess it (this rant) isn't just about the "series", but the situation that I'll describe.
I guess some of this stems from the fact, that iirc, there was a big deal behind this? I think? I mean outside the "praise" its getting in general. Wasn't there some drama over this? I mean, why cause drama over *this*? It clearly isn't and wasn't trying to be anything "great", yet, iirc, it was being portrayed as if it were? May seem kind of douchey of me to say that, so, oops.
This "series" is a good concept that has been thought of before, just never done/done well. But to make matters worse is that this and the writer will be treated with regard for the concept itself, when again, isnt enough reason to when it just "*hasn't been done before*". Then people go all "how cute/sweet" and eat this kind of thing up, because "fluff". Which would be fine, but then enough people go all "gaga" over it and treat it as something way better than it actually is and disregard any inherent underwhelming traits.
Plus, I kinda feel like having something like this be its own thing first deters any other attempts at making something similar
And, again, *TO BE FAIR*, this is just a small/short twitter "series" so there really isn't much say or care about. I mean, it's not like anyone is paying for this kind of content in the first place, right?
This may seem weird that I am ranting about this small, kinda inconsequential "series", but it serves more purpose for that. I guess it (this rant) isn't just about the "series", but the situation that I'll describe.
I guess some of this stems from the fact, that iirc, there was a big deal behind this? I think? I mean outside the "praise" its getting in general. Wasn't there some drama over this? I mean, why cause drama over *this*? It clearly isn't and wasn't trying to be anything "great", yet, iirc, it was being portrayed as if it were? May seem kind of douchey of me to say that, so, oops.
This "series" is a good concept that has been thought of before, just never done/done well. But to make matters worse is that this and the writer will be treated with regard for the concept itself, when again, isnt enough reason to when it just "*hasn't been done before*". Then people go all "how cute/sweet" and eat this kind of thing up, because "fluff". Which would be fine, but then enough people go all "gaga" over it and treat it as something way better than it actually is and disregard any inherent underwhelming traits.
Plus, I kinda feel like having something like this be its own thing first deters any other attempts at making something similar
And, again, *TO BE FAIR*, this is just a small/short twitter "series" so there really isn't much say or care about. I mean, it's not like anyone is paying for this kind of content in the first place, right?
2) Criticisms in general, where I felt it failed and why.
To begin with, I am someone who kinda wanted a "story" like this for a while (Yandere/Yandere or Stalker/Stalker). Having said that, this "series" kinda bugs me. This "series" takes the idea
From the get-go, it starts off with little to no characterization. The two of them are such inherently bland characters, both in design and execution. The design is simple, however, the design doesn't matter much if your characters have good/well-written personalities. However, the characters just have the fact that they are "crazy" blatantly tacked on, with out really making them distinctive.
Furthermore, "story-wise", nothing connects or makes a difference. To add on to that, there is little to no "emotion" in this "series". For example, in "Chapter" 2, the reaction was boring/dry. Then it goes to "Chapter" 3 as if disregarding what happened in "Chapter" 2. The whole scene where she breaks in to his house could/should be developed/fleshed out more. You could, lets say, end it on a shocked face of her being utterly surprised over what she finds. Then, go to the next chapter and show her overwhelmed thought process where she realizes how he feels about her (maybe throw in a moment where she is shaking and slightly tearing up over it). Now she knows and he is coming back from practice, so does she stay and admit she knows and feels the same way? Or does she leave, realizing that even if he feels the same towards her, the fact that she literally broke into his house could lead into either a misunderstanding or maybe he might even think ill of her for doing that (even if he would be somewhat happy over her behaviour, he could be conflicted). If they are yandere for each other, they would "overexpressive" and they would have a strong effect on one another. It only just had one of the "chapters" connect with the finger bit.
Here, they are already dating, but its as if they aren't/nothings changed... which feels stupid, I mean, how long were they supposedly stalking each other? Why do they even like each other? Where is the "love" in any of this? Oh wait, it isn't there because there is nothing there other than saying "cute" and "love" over and over and over and expecting it to be something without developing anything in the least. I said this before but whenever the words "cute" or "love" are said it feels empty... like this (Kaguya chapter 132 spoilers) https://imgur.com/a/HnKbvGp. Rather than liking each other, it feels like they are just using each other as an outlet for bad behaviour. ...Speaking of which...
The comedy here doesn't really stick or have much impact either. If the comedy comes from the fact that they are both kind of stupid and tropey, I guess I can kind of get it...? But it all comes without a punchline and lets the joke just hang there? And it comes at the disregard for anything that isnt the two MCs.
The art is solid and has decent colouring/colourization, but if I *had* to say something constructive, it would be that it feels stiff/off. The best example is the 3rd panel in the first "chapter". Solid colouring, but feels misplaced/misused, idk how to describe it. Perhaps its that there is more emphasis on the colours than the art/artstyle itself? Honestly, I don't think there is really much that needs to be said here.
From the get-go, it starts off with little to no characterization. The two of them are such inherently bland characters, both in design and execution. The design is simple, however, the design doesn't matter much if your characters have good/well-written personalities. However, the characters just have the fact that they are "crazy" blatantly tacked on, with out really making them distinctive.
Furthermore, "story-wise", nothing connects or makes a difference. To add on to that, there is little to no "emotion" in this "series". For example, in "Chapter" 2, the reaction was boring/dry. Then it goes to "Chapter" 3 as if disregarding what happened in "Chapter" 2. The whole scene where she breaks in to his house could/should be developed/fleshed out more. You could, lets say, end it on a shocked face of her being utterly surprised over what she finds. Then, go to the next chapter and show her overwhelmed thought process where she realizes how he feels about her (maybe throw in a moment where she is shaking and slightly tearing up over it). Now she knows and he is coming back from practice, so does she stay and admit she knows and feels the same way? Or does she leave, realizing that even if he feels the same towards her, the fact that she literally broke into his house could lead into either a misunderstanding or maybe he might even think ill of her for doing that (even if he would be somewhat happy over her behaviour, he could be conflicted). If they are yandere for each other, they would "overexpressive" and they would have a strong effect on one another. It only just had one of the "chapters" connect with the finger bit.
Here, they are already dating, but its as if they aren't/nothings changed... which feels stupid, I mean, how long were they supposedly stalking each other? Why do they even like each other? Where is the "love" in any of this? Oh wait, it isn't there because there is nothing there other than saying "cute" and "love" over and over and over and expecting it to be something without developing anything in the least. I said this before but whenever the words "cute" or "love" are said it feels empty... like this (Kaguya chapter 132 spoilers) https://imgur.com/a/HnKbvGp. Rather than liking each other, it feels like they are just using each other as an outlet for bad behaviour. ...Speaking of which...
The comedy here doesn't really stick or have much impact either. If the comedy comes from the fact that they are both kind of stupid and tropey, I guess I can kind of get it...? But it all comes without a punchline and lets the joke just hang there? And it comes at the disregard for anything that isnt the two MCs.
The art is solid and has decent colouring/colourization, but if I *had* to say something constructive, it would be that it feels stiff/off. The best example is the 3rd panel in the first "chapter". Solid colouring, but feels misplaced/misused, idk how to describe it. Perhaps its that there is more emphasis on the colours than the art/artstyle itself? Honestly, I don't think there is really much that needs to be said here.
3) Giving potential ideas for a premise like this
Alright, here is an example about how a series like this could go: You could possibly make their actions and behaviour more discreet, as not to let the other know. Basically, it could be a premise like "I can't let them know that *I* like *them*, unless they show that *they* like *me*". For example, they believe that if the other found out before they *became* interested, then they would most likely *never* be interested, after seeing how the former feels.
Furthermore, you could make the Male MC a more "pure" yandere, and show reluctancy towards his own behaviour. As for the Female MC, you could make her more ready/willing towards bad behaviour and build a dynamic off of that. You could also maybe have a "matchmaker"/"confidant" friend character. Maybe make it so that he/she knows that they both feel the same way, but instead of pushing them together already, they have fun seeing how long it drags out, knowing that they will inevitably end up together. Or a second confidant character, who realizes that that kind of behaviour is bad for them and tries to deter them. (this could be used for different conflicts, etc.)
When the two actually start dating, you could still have plenty of room for development. Because they consider themselves to be lucky enough to be dating the other, they would have a hard time dealing with the different parts of the relationship. Like, for example, wanting the other to do or not do something, but being reluctant to say it. The dynamic of those two beating around the bush/being discreet seeps into the actual relationship (etc.). (though, its possible that Kaguya-sama might go a similar route)
These are just a few ideas on what can be done with a "Stalker/Stalker" premise. You could develop these things for a long enough period of time. (you would have to develop and actually plan things out a bit more *before* to make it work well, but at least there is something there. Which, frankly, I can't really say the same for this comic)
Furthermore, you could make the Male MC a more "pure" yandere, and show reluctancy towards his own behaviour. As for the Female MC, you could make her more ready/willing towards bad behaviour and build a dynamic off of that. You could also maybe have a "matchmaker"/"confidant" friend character. Maybe make it so that he/she knows that they both feel the same way, but instead of pushing them together already, they have fun seeing how long it drags out, knowing that they will inevitably end up together. Or a second confidant character, who realizes that that kind of behaviour is bad for them and tries to deter them. (this could be used for different conflicts, etc.)
When the two actually start dating, you could still have plenty of room for development. Because they consider themselves to be lucky enough to be dating the other, they would have a hard time dealing with the different parts of the relationship. Like, for example, wanting the other to do or not do something, but being reluctant to say it. The dynamic of those two beating around the bush/being discreet seeps into the actual relationship (etc.). (though, its possible that Kaguya-sama might go a similar route)
These are just a few ideas on what can be done with a "Stalker/Stalker" premise. You could develop these things for a long enough period of time. (you would have to develop and actually plan things out a bit more *before* to make it work well, but at least there is something there. Which, frankly, I can't really say the same for this comic)
4) Trying to be considerate to the series or give benefit of the doubt, etc
In this comic's "defense", you could argue that they wrote it like this because
(a) There are enough "fluff" minidrawings/"series" that over exaggerates emotion/joy for the sake of comedy/fluff. In those joke drawing, the over exaggeration feels needless/unrealistic (too forced) given the situation. One that comes to mind is... I think it was called "Video Rental Shop" or something along those lines. (they just met and then its overly expressive)
(b) You could simply argue that the comedy here just doesn't suit me. I feel like most comedy is just coming from thinking the idea itself is mildly amusing when paired with what is happening
(c) This is just a short twitter series and doesn't have any aim to be anything really good, etc. If they just plan on putting it out once in a while with no other aim than it getting a "lol", then the format of throwing in cliches/scenes/etc. and not having the events stick, mean anything or have any impact at all to the characters, then it is fine.
(d) At least *someone* made something like this, finally. At the very least, that much can be appreciated. Though, that is exactly why this bothers me.
(a) There are enough "fluff" minidrawings/"series" that over exaggerates emotion/joy for the sake of comedy/fluff. In those joke drawing, the over exaggeration feels needless/unrealistic (too forced) given the situation. One that comes to mind is... I think it was called "Video Rental Shop" or something along those lines. (they just met and then its overly expressive)
(b) You could simply argue that the comedy here just doesn't suit me. I feel like most comedy is just coming from thinking the idea itself is mildly amusing when paired with what is happening
(c) This is just a short twitter series and doesn't have any aim to be anything really good, etc. If they just plan on putting it out once in a while with no other aim than it getting a "lol", then the format of throwing in cliches/scenes/etc. and not having the events stick, mean anything or have any impact at all to the characters, then it is fine.
(d) At least *someone* made something like this, finally. At the very least, that much can be appreciated. Though, that is exactly why this bothers me.
5) summary/closing
Basically, it's just, again, THERE COULD BE MORE HERE! THERE *SHOULD* BE MORE HERE, CONSIDERING THE CONCEPT. It feels, just, so *devoid* of content. And, again, this is all towards a small "twitter series" style webcomic 4-koma. It is outright/completely understandable that it is/feels devoid of content/characterization.
*sigh* Though, I suppose you could argue that my feelings/displeasure towards this "series" is partly from me having been a yandere in the past (yea yea yea, let me guess, "Well *that's* concerning!". Trust me, when I realized it, I was probably more concerned than you'll ever be). You could probably argue that I am biased and perhaps taking it personally and too seriously, etc. (fine, fair, whatever)
I think that about covers what I wanted to say. I still feel like I might've had a lot of roughly written points, though. Some of my points were/are directed more towards the initial response/thoughts around "chapter" 4-ish, so keep that in mind. Plus, I didn't feel like cleaning all of it up, so oops... Also, I might reuse some of the things I say here at another point, so this was more than *just* stupid (on my part) venting (even if it is still stupid venting).
*sigh* Though, I suppose you could argue that my feelings/displeasure towards this "series" is partly from me having been a yandere in the past (yea yea yea, let me guess, "Well *that's* concerning!". Trust me, when I realized it, I was probably more concerned than you'll ever be). You could probably argue that I am biased and perhaps taking it personally and too seriously, etc. (fine, fair, whatever)
I think that about covers what I wanted to say. I still feel like I might've had a lot of roughly written points, though. Some of my points were/are directed more towards the initial response/thoughts around "chapter" 4-ish, so keep that in mind. Plus, I didn't feel like cleaning all of it up, so oops... Also, I might reuse some of the things I say here at another point, so this was more than *just* stupid (on my part) venting (even if it is still stupid venting).
Alright, hopefully that worked
Supporter
- Joined
- Aug 24, 2018
- Messages
- 2,029
The rare moment when a story is al fluffy and gory. Like an adorable loli innocently eating the guts of her grandma. 10/10
