Part hmm...
Well, i shall suffer this two more weeks, and I... I did something I never thought I'd do... I'm opening up. For years I've tried to be as quiet as possible. But, i realize now the trouble of that, it's what got me into this predicament. So, i'm throwing it out the window. And it's funny, I fretted over this for YEARS and yet it was so simple. It's got nothing to do with sexual persuasion, in fact it's so stupidly simple I'm kind of amused at myself.
Something Good came out of all this.
1. I stuck true and know for sure I'm a writer
2. Courage
It's a weird feeling, all at once I feel a fool, and free, and I realize... there's a balance in everything. Something I should've realized.
We can live for others, but we must live for ourselves to. We must love ourselves, if we are to love others, for those who love us would want us to love ourselves. It's silly... I feel like laughing and crying.
I won't hide a thing ever again! It's so stupid to! In fact that only makes them worry. I feel relieved... Like, this strange heavy lemur on my shoulders decided to just sit beside me.
I never thought I'd say it, but I'm thankful... Truly thankful... Some may deny it, that God is there. But he is. I am still here! Sure 2 weeks to go but... I still remember waking up and feeling such a horrid sinking feeling, as if God had forgotten me. And now... I realize yet again that this was necessary! I am truly stupid... I'm not saying that negatively, not like "You stupid idiot"... it's genuinely funny.
I was scared for nothing, of all that i've gone through. I'm still here! I still live! I still dream! I still imagine! I still write! I STILL WRITE!
There was no reason for any of that worry! I can hear God laughing right now... And it's a mixture of embarrassment, relief, and... victory which now fills me. Now I have something to look forward to!
God Bless you all!