Tensei Kusushi wa Isekai wo Meguru - Vol. 1 Ch. 1

Fed-Kun's army
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An alchemist fantasy manga without being too boring or too confusing for once. Only problem is that the character has already grown, so it loses an aspect of being able to understand the character(s)
 
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What kinda dumbo uses a potion that has a skull and crossbones painted on it? Actually, what kind of scammer jeopardizes their operation by painting a skull and crossbones on their potions tubes in the first place?! Sheesh.
 
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@211ritsuki These are the things I noticed when I went through and these are the corrections I would recommend (Pages are of the manga itself, not counting credit/notes pages) (also, sorry in advance for the supermassive-text-wall-off-doom):

Page 2, Panel 2, Bubble 2: Change "had" to "has" as the line is spoken in the present tense.

Page 3, Panel 3, Bubble 1: Change "made" to "make" as while the potions are technically already "made" the shopkeeper is speaking in present tense as in "making the potions."

Page 3, Panel 3, Bubble 2: Change "is" to "are" as the shopkeeper is referring to Shin's potion(s) as multiple and thus it is plural.

Page 3, Panel 3, Bubble 3: Change "adventurers" into the contraction "adventurer's" so that the phrase makes sense so as to say "Every adventurer is always looking for your potions" or alternatively (and impractically), change the phrase to "Every one of those adventurers are always looking for your potions."

Page 10, Panel 6, Bubble 2: Add "are" into phrase to create "that are" to add the needed verb to the sentence.

Page 10, Panel 7, Bubble 1: You combined singular and plural here, thus you have two options (Yes both work): 1: remove the "s" from "potions" or 2: remove the "A"s in the sentence and add an "s" to "one." Both resolve the conflict and are grammatically correct, as well as not compromising the context of the scene.

Page 11, Panel 2, Bubble 1: the last bit "throw away the rubbish out!" is redundant. Remove either "away" or "out" to remove the redundancy.

Page 11, Panel 5, Bubble 2: Two problems, one panel. First is a spelling error: change "indipensable" to "indispensable." Second you have Two options again, similar reason to the last time. Either add "an" to say that "Potions are an indispensable..." or add an "s" at the end of the last word in the bubble. Take your pick, they both work.

Page 12, Panel 4, Bubble 1/2: Yes, this is a sort of "compound error" and yes it's another singular/plural conflict. You can fix it by changing one thing in either of the bubbles: Bubble 1 change: Make "wounds" singular, though I don't recommend it as the con-artistsalesman has multiple lacerations on his arm and thus this change alters the context, alternatively Bubble 2 change: Change "It's" to "They're" as, like I said, the posersalesman has multiple lacerations on his arm. As you've probably guessed, this is the change that I recommend, but as the person doing the work, the decision is yours to make.

Page 13, Panel 1, Bubble 2: Change "this isn't" to " these aren't" as the adventurer is most likely speaking about the potions as multiple individual things and not a collective product. Doesn't make sense otherwise, at least to me.

Page 18, Panel 3, Bubble 1: Change "customer" to "customers." This is an easy mistake. Though usually just caused by a typo due to rapid typing, it never hurts to make mention.

Page 22, Panel 2/3: Another "compound error" and the same issue as on page 12. It's also literally the same options for correction. Again, I differ to your judgement.

Page 23, Panel 4, Bubble 1: Change "group" into "group's" as this is in reference to the place that the cons hang out and essentially posses.

Page 25, Panel 2, Bubble 2: Two choices again. 1: Remove "as" from the sentence entirely. I see this a lot in scanlations and as far as I know it's incorrect. Alternatively you can change "called" to "known" and achieve similar results. As usual, it's up to you.

Page 26, Panel 1, Bubble 1: You've got a few options. You can change "actual" to "actuality" or just switch it out entirely with "reality." I know it's going to sound redundant, but this is your call.

Page 27, Panel 2, Bubble 2: Change "duties" to "duty." While the con is referring to multiple people, he's doing so in reference to a singular job in the group.

Page 35, Panel 1, Bubble 2: Add "a" so as to say "used for a bad cause..." or make "cause" plural.

Page 37, Panel 6, Bubble 1: The Skewers Chef doesn't have to say so much. Just remove "now" and "so" and the line is still in context and delivers the same message. It also reads better in general. This one is not entirely necessary, but it would help in creating a "clean read."

Page 38, Panel 2, Bubble 1: Change "a" to "the." Shin is speaking specifically about the rookie adventurer, not comparing him some random off screen.

Page 40, Panel 1, Bubble 2: This is another purely "read better" correction and by no means is it one that you have make. Remove "so" from the bubble.

That's it! Holy hell that's a lot more than I remember seeing on the first read. Granted I went into "proofreader mode" for this one so things became a bit more noticeable to me as I went through it. Bare in mind I'm not digging into your work, this is all minor stuff that I too sometimes have to go back and fix in my own writing. Also, if you're wondering why I marked them as spoiler, it's because some of them have minor mention of chapter specific plot elements, and I'm not taking any chances. Also, I don't want to take up too much visual space for other readers going through comments. Let me know when you make the corrections so I can go through and read the glory of your masterful editing skills. (That's not sarcasm. I actually prefer stuff in the margin for stuff like this.)
 
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I'm loving the art it brings me back to those old days, plus the plot looks interesting.
 
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@Korsai
Waaaaaaiiii ✨✨(*´艸`*) Thank you very much and sorry for the trouble!
My editing skill is not masterful, but, I'll tell you when I'm done!
I just woke up in the middle of the night, I'll do it soon after taking bath and eating.
✨(*´ω`*)

@lordmage
Well, I'm trying to make it understandable, even though I'm quite bad at English grammars.
Thank you for reading the translation! :DDD
 
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@Korsai
Hey! :D
I've done fixing all the stuff you mentioned. I realised that I'm even worse at those plural and singular stuff, after you mentioned them all.
That was an excellent proofreading, also, it was a great study material for me!

Thank you very much for your generous help! ✨(* ; 艸 ; *)
I'll try to do the next chapter if I got the time, also if I'm done with the other series' next chapter I'm doing, I hope you don't mind.
Again, thank you so, so, so much!! (*´∀`*)

(postcriptum. Is the "stuff in the margin" about how I typeset outside the bubbles sometimes? Or is it about the sfx translations outside the boxes? I don't get it at all to be honest, hahahaha! xD
Anyway, the manga source is very-very small --like only 500px by 711px... I upscaled them to 2x the size -- 1000px by 1422px, but it still kinda small. And some of it contains a lot of texts that I feel would be to small and difficult to read if I didn't make it like this...especially as Japanese manga writes text vertically and made the text bubbles/boxes extremely narrow. Also, by my own judgement, I did make some of the text way bigger than the bubbles---just to emulate the loud voices or shouting voices. Thank you very much!!! :DDDD)
 
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Well... Thats something... The 1st chapter rolls like a Oneshot.
 
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@211ristuki
You. Are. A. GOD! You fixed everything I mentioned. It's awesome that you are someone who is both able and WILLING to do the work to make a great product! And you're right about "the stuff in the margin." I just like to see the original styling of the pages on most works (though there are some exceptions) and when something is in the margin to begin with, it's just best to typeset the translation there. And are the sources really that small? It's incredible to me that you can make that work! You are definitely a scanlator to watch! You've got my full support! (and a bit of my money if I ever have any to donate to the cause) Keep up the great work!
(Also, thanks for the shout out at the end. It feels kinda weird and really awesome to see my name tagged on a credit page!)

P.S. There was one thing I missed in my initial proofread:
Page 10, Panel 2, Bubble 1: The chef is once again saying too much and it makes it a less than smooth read. All he has to say is, "He's a really nice kid...don't you think?"
Not a required change to make after all the awesome work you did, just something I missed on my proofread and to think about for the future. Unlike most of the things I mentioned in the first proofread, this doesn't detract as much and you've already done more than enough for this chapter to be awesome. But as usual, you're call.

Also, I forgot to include this in the proofread post, but if you want to check your stuff before giving it to me, a good rule of thumb for grammar is, "If it sounds right, it probably is." Never hurts to have someone check your work though.

(once a proofreader, always a proofreader)
 
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@Korsai
Thank you very much! To be honest, all the corrections you've mentioned felt extremely natural and doesn't feel weird at all. In actuality ( :p ), it does make my initial translations look obviously incorrect gramatically. (In Japanese it would be --目から鱗が落ちる--Fish scales fell out from my eyes --meaning whatever that was, really informative and made everything clearer, as if I had a cloudy fish scales stuck in my eyes before and made my visions clouded. As it's now fallen out, it felt so much clearer. I don't know how to express this feeling in English honestly)

No, YOU are the god! _:)3」∠)_ I mean I just did what I could in exchange for your extremely wonderful help. It didn't take a lot of time either, maybe ten to twenty minutes of editing, saving, zipping, and uploading to my cloud storage and MangaDex. I'll try to do better next time. Not promising fast delivery, but I'll try the next chapter.

By the way, I'm feeling so, so weird to be complimented so much like that. (and also, I got the RAW for free, so donation or anything isn't required! :D I was thinking that your proofreading service XD would cost some money instead, but of course I'm just not in a condition to be able to pay-- that's why I am very reluctant about all this.)

I really hope you don't mind if I put your name on the chapters you helped doing from now on! If there's another name or any handle you want to put on the pages instead, just hit me up! (did I use 'hit me up' correctly? :p )

ps. and yeah, I've updated the last one thing you've mentioned about 'the nice kid', and it's uploaded now! Really, thank you a ton! :DDD

Edit: the same errors you've corrected, I repeated them here. Geez 😂
 
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@211ritsuki
Oh please. I'm happy to help in my spare time as it's good practice and it's actually kinda fun for me. No need to pay me, though if it ever gets to the point where I make this into a proper job (as in it's my legitimate profession), then it would be done under a sort of "consultation contract," but that's irrelevant at the moment as, like I said, this it simply practice and good fun for me. As for the crediting name, for now we can stick with my MangaDex handle (I'll let you know if we need to change this later) and I'm more than happy to be credited, "credit where credit is due" after all. Also, yes you did use "hit me up" correctly (To clarify for anyone confused, including yourself if applicable, "hit me up" is an, I believe primarily, American slang that simply means to "get in touch with" or "establish communication with." Just some food for thought.).

P.S.Just to check, which form of English do you use? I use American English as I was born and raised in the US, but what about you? I assume you use the same based on how you spell certain words, but I really don't know for sure and I'd very much like to.
 
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@Korsai
Ahahaha, reading that really made me feel so glad and relieved. Well I'm actually kinda similar, I wanted to open translation commission work or something in the future after my situation get better, and as of right now I translate stuff for something that I think is interesting, people might like, and I also find interesting. And a plus is that I can hone my skills and there's some extremely, super duper, hyper kind people who even donated. (I wasn't thinking about opening them, but my friend forces me to open donation because I was doing it for free.)
Thanks! I'll write your MangaDex handle on the credits then ahahaha :D by the way, do you mind if I ask you some stuff about my translations on the other manga series I'm doing? :p It's not as difficult and certainly not as long (per chapter), I just feel ashamed that I made a lot of mistakes and didn't realise most of them. (*´艸`*)… but it's totally okay if you can't, as it's not as difficult as this series.

I'm an Asian, and unfortunately have a messed up knowledge of English. There's a lot of inputs in British English and American English, sometimes I also watch/listen to Indian English and Australian English. I know. I usually focus on British as that was the English I learnt in school ages ago, but sometimes mix in American words or slang words.

Have a totally wonderful day/night! Stay safe, healthy, and happy :DD
-Ritsuki麗月
 
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@211ritsuki
I'd be more than happy to help you with your other series. I'll just need to find the time as this is really just a spare time thing right now. The forms of English that I'm best with are American English (mainly), and a bit of Queen's English (British English) though I'm not very good with its slang. It will work best if we try to prioritize translating in American English, but I can try to do Queen's English as well.

You stay safe as well. Have a good day/night.
 

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