As someone who was constantly physically and mentally abused by the person who I thought I "loved", and has read a sh*t ton of literary works about victims of PTSD, I must say I haven't felt cold rage like this in awhile after reading a webtoon.
I'll be focusing on chapters 7-68, where the FL unrealistically goes from
"I'm f*cking terrified at the sight of ML" to "Yea I guess we cool now. Let's talk about flowers, hm?" My focus is Tia and Tia only. Beware this will be detailed and long af. Bear with me.
The first few times she meets the ML, she's scared sh*tless. She freezes, is unable to talk, etc. Understandable reaction. Moving on.
The third time, she bumps into him and goes "He must be mad at me. Why isnt he mad at me?" "Why do you always look at me with resentment and hatred?" All she thinks about is him, him, him, him. Girl why don't you ask yourself if you're okay with meeting your killer?! Why do you have to keep wondering about him? Aren't you the victim here?
In ch. 25 during a play, ML agrees that FL looked cute the other day, and she blushes. Yep, if my torturer said I looked cute I'd definitely blush too, instead of puking my guts out.
After the falling chandelier accident, FL thinks "Are we not meant to be together after all?" Is she... is she mentally ret*rded? Or is she really just that dumb? God himself told her that she's the wrong choice so why is she still-
Anyway, moving on. In ch. 34, he escorts her home and she's all "Why? I thought he hated me?". When he leaves, she thinks "Why do I feel so empty? Perhaps he escorted me because he was worried about me" I sh*t you not. I was so f*cking close to throwing my phone against the wall.
Miss? Did you perhaps lose your braincells after being reborn? I wonder how such a thought even CROSSED her mind. She should be fantasizing about shooting arrows into his body, not that bullsh*t. Keep in mind this is only their fifth meeting.
In ch. 43 at the ML's coming of age party, she stands close to the ML and links arms with him. Wow. One would think that being in such close proximity with one's torturer will make one feel nauseous at the very least. But nuh-uh. Not our MC. She looks just fine, nothing to worry about. She's already at that stage of healing where she doesn't mind about being close to him and touching him. We love fast development, don't we?
Later, she goes outside and says "It's suffocating" Oh FINALLY!! I thought she already overcame her trauma and sh*t. Turns out she doesn't feel okay, huh? But then she follows up with "I feel nauseous....... from the crowd."
Pardon???So being in close proximity with her torturer/killer doesn't suffocate her but the crowd does? Has she lost her damn mind?
In ch. 52 when he visits her castle, she serves him his favorite food and drinks. Why? Why is she like this? Who the f*ck- who in their right mind would VOLUNTARILY serve their torturer, killer of their child, with their favorite food (unless it's laced with poison) ? At this point, I was inclined to believe that Tia is the crazy one, not the ML.
Then, ML triggers her PTSD. She's unresponsive for some time, has a dream about her past and present, wakes up, reads a letter from Allen that says "Please dont trap yourself in the past only to neglect the present. I know how wise you are, so I know you can overcome this"
Nice words, really. FL is all like "Oh wow tru!!! I guess I'm different now?? I'm okay" I truly envy how easily it is for her to be okay again after she's just had an "episode". Look, I'm not saying that she should dwell in her depression and all. I'm just saying:
I wish it was that easy in real life.
And now we finally get to chapter 68, where she meets the ML again after awhile. This is their eight encounter (she's 14/15 now). Last time they met, he triggered her PTSD. Now? She has no such concern like "What if the same thing happens again? What if after all this time, I still can't stand him? What if the progress I've made this far means nothing?"
None of that happens. She only feels a bit awkward and agrees to go on a walk with him. Instead of being wary and on guard around him, she just casually chats with him like old buds, talking about flowers. Yes, flowers. No sh*t.
At this point, I was so confused. I checked to see if maybe I missed a few chapters? Did I miss her character growth? Why is she so normal around him now? How-
All right. Try to calm down, brain.
If you say "Yea but the ML is different tho? He's not the same person. It's like two different people entirely. Plus, he's still a child." My God, IT DOESNT MATTER! What matters the most is how the author so badly handled the way victims of PTSD deal with trauma.
Let's put ourselves in FL's shoes:
1. She doesn't know that the past ML was constantly poisoned with psychotic drugs.
2. She doesn't know that the present ML is starting to slowly "change for the better". Only us readers know that, because we've seen his pov.
Repeat: SHE DOESN'T KNOW SH*T.
All she knows is: this dude, no matter that he's still a child, was the one who killed her unborn baby, her father, and her. His face alone is a constant reminder that he was the one who r*ped, psychologically tortured, and thought she was worse than dirt for years with no regret whatsoever. Period. So it drives me absolutely insane why she would treat him so kindly.
You may argue that "It took years for her to get to that point" Okay then. We're talking four, five years at most?
1. During that time, did she consult with an expert or an adult on how to properly deal with her horrible past? No. She could easily use "I keep having this horrible nightmare, can you please help me?" as an excuse, but nope. No expert was consulted with.
2. Next, "She can overcome it because she has a strong support system"
Tell me, how many people know about Tia's past life? Allen, her Dad, and the ML. Allen (a psycho teen) straight up didn't trust her at first, her Dad basically only said "You're strong for overcoming that sh*t" and there is no more conversation regarding that. Case closed. As for the ML, he knows not because FL trusts him and confides in him, but because this little sh*t read a personal letter sent by FL's close friend (Did he perhaps skip all his etiquette lessons growing up?). And guess what? His advisor also knows the contents of that VERY PRIVATE LETTER. Wow
How nice of him
I'm amazed
It took her years to spill her guts out to her two loved ones, yet now he knows it too. For shame.
While it is true that having a support system helps a sh*t ton in overcoming one's trauma, in FL's case, who exactly helps her deal with her past trauma? Every time someone asks if she's okay, she lies and says that she is. Is that what you call healing? Being helped by the people around you?
I agree with this statement:
You can argue Tia has a support system but having people around you isn't equal to getting the help you need.
I agree she talks to her father about what happened but it's just one step. Plus talking isn't equal to therapy.
3. And how about exposure treatment? How many times does she interact with the ML up to ch. 68? Eight, ladies and gents.
First three times she's scared
Fourth time, she turns into a blushing maiden because he calls her cute (Uh, what?)
Fifth time, she feels empty when he leaves her and wonders if he's worried about her (Again, wha-?)
Sixth time, she's okay with being close to him. 10/10. No problemo
Seventh time, she has an "episode", triggered by the one and only ML
Eight time, they're okay. Bit awkward, but they talk about flowers which is nice isn't it?
Phew. So, she received no counseling/help from any adult (except her Dad), only spoke about her past twice, always said "I'm fine" when asked, yet suddenly she's now okay with chatting casually with the ML? Great. Fantastic character development. Superb writing.
The author didn't see fit to include small yet important developments like "I can now look him in the eye without being terrified"
"I can be in the same place as him without wanting to pull my hair out"
"I can stand close to him without feeling repulsed"
"I can look at his face without being reminded of how badly he mistreated me in the past"
We don't see that kind of development, do we?
1st ML was literally FL's entire world, her one and only, yet she was constantly dragged through the dirt by him, psychologically tortured, r*ped, told her child wasn't worth sh*t (despite not even being BORN yet), had a miscarriage because of him, manipulated her into thinking that he killed her dad, then forced her to surrender the ONE THING left she held high at that time, her pride. He mentally crucified her, again and again.
All that, and she was only 17 years old.
Please, please tell me how you expect me to believe that this teenage girl dealt with this kind of trauma and abuse and hatred in just a few years, with barely any help?