The Dangers in My Heart - Vol. 7 Ch. 99.2 - Vol.7 Special Edition Extra - Episode Zero

[cksn]

this is good shit. i'm sure i'm not the only one who was kinda like this in middle school. even the variable self-awareness is pretty spot on.

 

[Sky_Ravager]

I never thought I needed BokuYaba prologue LN until I read one. It's well written (and well translated!) from Ichi's perspective and Onee-chan being the best, just as usual, is so good to read!

 

[Esper]

This fills in so many gaps. Super helpful in understanding things.

 

[LaMerguez]

anon's the goat

 

[Sollertia_]

Yo the LN portion was well written and well translated, huge props

 

[Akikako]

he grown soooo much

 

[LuckyThePirate]

the only thing that left me unsatisfied with this story was that first look yamada gave ichikawa in the first episode. if you have never had someone do something like that to you, you cant understand the pain it can cause you. so her doing that really stuck a thorn in my side. im really REALLY glad we got an explanation for that, and that it wasnt malicious in the slightest, just a habit forced onto her by a parent. that explanation has truly elevated this series to 10/10 perfection. this is the type of mc i really root for, someone who gradually starts to understand that its not other people he cant empathize with, its himself that he doesnt understand. his emotions, why he feels the way he does about things. before you can love someone, you must love yourself.

 

[ARealCoolGuy]

On the one hand, it's great to finally get an explanation for his "I want to kill her" phase, and a sort of... rumination on it? Though it really should be an actual chapter within the comic on it... However, it still feels like poor reasoning as to why he locked onto her; as it seems like it really was just because she's hot and he had the hots for her. What reason did he have to obsess over her at that point otherwise?

I would have preferred if it had said he obsessed over her because she was everything he wasn't (popular, successful, attractive), or some other cliche reasoning, other than him getting a boner over her.

 

[Jambaj0e]

"The thing I thought I had thrown out was here in a place like this. This always happens. Yamada always picks up things I thought I threw out. She holds onto them and treasures them dearly."

This passage, it's just so utterly beautiful. She really is his light.

 

[Rexi]

On the one hand, it's great to finally get an explanation for his "I want to kill her" phase, and a sort of... rumination on it? Though it really should be an actual chapter within the comic on it... However, it still feels like poor reasoning as to why he locked onto her; as it seems like it really was just because she's hot and he had the hots for her. What reason did he have to obsess over her at that point otherwise?

I would have preferred if it had said he obsessed over her because she was everything he wasn't (popular, successful, attractive), or some other cliche reasoning, other than him getting a boner over her.

Ichikawa fixates on Yamada initially because she is someone who is seemingly exceptional and knows she's exceptional.

The novel starts with Ichikawa discussing how he feels as though he does not belong in the school and environment he is in - because he believes that he is exceptional, what with his awards and previous successes - and yet, he is in this low-level school anyway. He believes that the boys around him are gross and overly perverted and yet he is there with the rest of them.

He spots Yamada, someone who catches his eye because of her hair and her height and whatever, but he's captivated by the fact that she seems so out of place, yet natural. Elegant and refined.

When she spots him, however, her eyes immediately glaze over and she averts her gaze with a frown - completely and utterly dismissive and non-responsive.

To Ichikawa, he was just judged by a biblical angel. Someone who looks like what he feels like inside - exceptional and special - and she completely, utterly ignored him. He immediately assumes that she assumes he's just another one of the loud, noisy, annoying, gross boys - completely belonging in this unexceptional, unpleasant, zoo-like environment.

So that's why he fixates on her. Not because of her beauty, but because of the fact that she is exceptional and out of place. She appears to be like him, in a way, yet in a far more obvious and stated way. A perfect model who knows that Ichikawa does not deserve to be looked upon by her.

Episode 1 and chapter 1 of the manga and anime alike, start only when Ichikawa first realizes that Yamada is not a living deity in the classroom, but just another kid, just like him. Their romance only starts when he starts to realize she is not exceptional and perfect, but merely special and unique, in her own way. Just like he is.

 

[ARealCoolGuy]

Ichikawa fixates on Yamada initially because she is someone who is seemingly exceptional and knows she's exceptional...

Okay, that's actually kind of what I wanted, and I can totally see that working - except it didn't in this case. It seems (to me at least) that the examples of Yamada standing out and being "exceptional" weren't highlighted and framed in such a way to show they were really getting underneath his skin, or of much importance. What WAS done in such a way though, was the look he got from her, and if everything had been treated like that I'd have immediately gotten it and be agreeing with you.

Rather, another thing that was highlighted and framed as important (to me) was how Ichikawa claimed he didn't like her just because she was hot because he's not like other boys, and since that was clearly meant to be read that he indeed does like her because she's hot (because they hadn't interacted at all at that point) and HE IS like other boys, it really makes the relationship and his obsession at this point seem extremely shallow.

Your reading of it is exactly what I would have liked, and it shows that just a small change could fix the problem I have with it (maybe like a quick summary line of why Ichikawa is feeling ordinary compared to the 'exceptional' yama).

But again, this is just how it read to me, and maybe I simply misread or am misremembering it at this point.

 

[Rexi]

Okay, that's actually kind of what I wanted, and I can totally see that working - except it didn't in this case. It seems (to me at least) that the examples of Yamada standing out and being "exceptional" weren't highlighted and framed in such a way to show they were really getting underneath his skin, or of much importance. What WAS done in such a way though, was the look he got from her, and if everything had been treated like that I'd have immediately gotten it and be agreeing with you.

Rather, another thing that was highlighted and framed as important (to me) was how Ichikawa claimed he didn't like her just because she was hot because he's not like other boys, and since that was clearly meant to be read that he indeed does like her because she's hot (because they hadn't interacted at all at that point) and HE IS like other boys, it really makes the relationship and his obsession at this point seem extremely shallow.

Your reading of it is exactly what I would have liked, and it shows that just a small change could fix the problem I have with it (maybe like a quick summary line of why Ichikawa is feeling ordinary compared to the 'exceptional' yama).

But again, this is just how it read to me, and maybe I simply misread or am misremembering it at this point.

I'm a bit unsure on how to respond to this exactly, because it seems we simply interpreted the novel differently. To me, Ichikawa was absolutely fixating on how ordinary he feels, before meeting Yamada. Like most of the manga, the novel doesn't expressly draw the connection between Ichikawa feeling ordinary, mediocre, and Yamada being clearly impressive and noteworthy, just at a glance, because it would far prefer to leave this to be interpreted on your own without needing it to be clearly mentioned.

Right as Ichikawa was feeling melancholy about his status in the school, and the others around him being idiots, he notices Yamada. And Yamada notices him, dismisses him, which causes Ichikawa to start spiralling. "She just dismissed me, thinking I was just like those other boys, ogling her appearance and how attractive she is, which...I wasn't doing...It's because you stood out, not for any uncultured reasons..."

Despite being different to the other annoying, disgusting boys, he was judged by Yamada as one of them. Despite being different to the other boys, he appears to also be ogling Yamada.

Meanwhile, despite the fact that he's an intelligent and impressive person, he still failed to get into private school. Despite him being different to the other mediocre boys, he still failed to get into private school. A major point in the series is the fact that Ichikawa is not as perfect and flawless as he initially thinks he is. Just like how it's also about Ichikawa having the same realisation of Yamada.

But was he? Was he actually ogling her? Did he only notice her because she's hot? Was he behaving like those other boys? The answer is actually quite simple: Yes, he was, and also no, he wasn't. He is captivated by her. He does find her attractive. He does think she's extremely pretty and cute. But it's multi-layered. He doesn't just see her as just eye candy, or a sexual conversation to chat about, he is legitimately interested in her and does...try... to be respectful.

It's one of those connections that's never pointed out or elaborated on, but it's absolutely there in the manga, too, just as it is in this novel. Do you recall Chapter 29, "My Border for Like"? The second volume is very explicit about the fact that Ichikawa finds Yamada extremely attractive, sexually attractive, and he does objectify her, in a way. Maybe in a way that's unpleasant. But he is still different to the other boys who do the exact same behaviours. But how? That's the question the second volume tries to answer.

I personally have never had a "holy shit she's so hot" kind of crush before. But it's absolutely normal to simply find someone attractive and be captivated that quickly, that simply. If you think that makes Ichikawa appear shallow, and worry about the implication of that, then just remember, he worries about that too. That's a big part of the point of the series.

I'm sorry you didn't get more of my reading and interpretation from the novel. I personally loved it, and it did help me understand much about the manga. I'm not sure if these tirades I'm going on are actually any use at all, but I hope they are, if only a little bit. This is the last one I'll write, for fear of clogging up the thread. Send me a message if you wanna talk more about it. :>

 

[Notme321]

I was thinking the same thing

 

[Frye]

"The thing I thought I had thrown out was here in a place like this. This always happens. Yamada always picks up things I thought I threw out. She holds onto them and treasures them dearly."

This passage, it's just so utterly beautiful. She really is his light.

I love this passage too. It's just so strong after we see how much he changed. I doubt this passage would have the same impact if you read the prequel before the main story. I hope this is a diary he wrote and Yamada would read it sometime later

 

[ImNotCreativeEnoughtForThese]

Im really glad Ive gotten thjs far in the manga, this might be my second favourite

 

[abdullah17]

I ain't reading all that. You can't trick me into reading a light novel (jk the comments convinced me to read it)

 

[frostmonolith]

Wow that's a good read.

 

[LupusVir]

That was incredibly insightful and frames the series very well.

 

[Jackiboyb]

this light novel out of context is sorta grim and sad. but looking back on it now, its so heartwarming knowing that Anna was, at the very least, interested in him from the very beginning

 

[Mintarou]

Just as i thought ichikawa was relatable enough, norio slap me with backstory!ichikawa. So relatable it hurts.