Okay I can pretty much deduce on the matter now, where all the problem lies.
It certainly his Cowardice disposition, Abandoning anything that should've been solved a long time ago. running away from reality by immersing on otherworldly books. When facing reality it tends to left him in utmost despair, shatters him completely. Unable to share his thoughts, unable to empathize with someone. iIndoctrinating himself like a doll with the meaning of life with only falsehood, ephemeral salvation. He's coward, Selfish, impetuous, Shy, gloomy, has a superiority complex, Difficulty in perceiving surroundings and atmosphere, easily influenced by negative stuff.
The reason why I can't empathize with him is because I may run away from my bad deeds
I somehow never regret it, even if someone insinuates me with that bad past, I won't be swayed by it to A point of break down, I'll simply forget it later. I can speak my mind when I'm not liking something
I just forthright say it out. I've strong sense of Right or Wrong, so so goddamn strong you won't find another high Schooler like me with such a mindset, without hesitation prioritizing the rationality above anything else. always Felt the utmost repugnant towards abnormality, Deviation, Aberrants. Yes that's me! I know me so well that's why I cant definitely can't empathize myself with this kind of indecisiveness. Although I've a grieve flaw which is After I decide someone and its set-in-stone
I just can't bring myself to do it
Be it watching anime at a specific time, be it reading manga or studying or praying. I can't bring myself to do any of it if it's set-in-stone, I'm definitely the contradictory of pedants.