@shockie
im sorry i cant help but laugh at "as well as my feelings, which I've tried to deny for so long." xd
@Threee
I hope there is an other man for her. This one is just not willing to do what it takes.
I'm gonna lump these two together - I think they're both about his struggle to push his own emotions away and bottle them.
The first statement, about his long-denied feelings, I think it can't be his love for her since they've only just met, so I'm quite sure it's him talking about his denied desires to marry someone he loves? I think this ties with the second statement in that this is why he has such a struggle, it goes against the machine he was raised to be...
Of course I could be completely off the mark (as I often am with these stories) but just wanted to give my 2 cents.
And yes like everyone else: what the blooming fvck is the pacing