The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy at All - Ch. 70 - My Star

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Geez, have any of you been teenagers?
Or had… friends?
“This person I know has been really busy with something and is paying more attention to it than me” is a normal thing.
“she’s not sleeping and prioritising things that are arguably less important.” …Yeah, she’s a teenager.
People are acting like this is some horrible, toxic behaviour or borderline abusive.

Teenagers are stupid. That’s normal. This is way way way normal teenager stuff.
Some people just really need to go touch some bathwater and then some grass. Go outside, experience life, find passion. Scrolling the comments on this chapter is so depressing, because you just gotta know some of them just don't have anything like Koga has music to immerse themselves in.
 
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Geez, have any of you been teenagers?
Or had… friends?
“This person I know has been really busy with something and is paying more attention to it than me” is a normal thing.
“she’s not sleeping and prioritising things that are arguably less important.” …Yeah, she’s a teenager.
People are acting like this is some horrible, toxic behaviour or borderline abusive.

Teenagers are stupid. That’s normal. This is way way way normal teenager stuff.
I was extremally confused reading the comments, some really make It seem like Koga-san just disappeared for 3 years or something. Being a friend also means understanding sometimes people need space to figure their sh** out, and yes, Koga could have communicated better, but that's exactly the kind of skill you develop during your teenage years after screwing up a few times.
 
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Some people just really need to go touch some bathwater and then some grass. Go outside, experience life, find passion. Scrolling the comments on this chapter is so depressing, because you just gotta know some of them just don't have anything like Koga has music to immerse themselves in.
Hell, if they played video games of artistic merit it could be enough to immerse in after the bath and grass.
Used to have spirited debate with a friend about the implications of political movements in the history of Tamriel with a friend.

it doesn’t stop at games because yoko taro, but I have spent at least a few hours per week, and often multiple days per, thinking about the DrakeNieR universe since Automata came out.
Some people put tons of time into NieR Automata for the gameplay alone, and I think that misses the point.
2B isn’t even the main character! She is, from the start, following 9S. Even officially, it’s his mission.
Game isn’t even balanced… It’s fun, but only because YoRHa units are OP.
I think a lot of the ”improvements“ to Replicant are big failures. Destroys the meta commentary on video games. Yet it’s for the best…

Seeking out true value in something takes effort.

i got into games journalism for a hot minute, I cared so much about games. (Discovered the whole industry is rotten, even the parts talking about the rot. They don’t need to pay reviewers off. The publisher knows which kind of review will get clicks and finds the right reviewer for it. if I had nothing positive to say about Hades, I wouldn’t have gotten in that ‘zine. I hate that game top to bottom, but I think that objectively speaking the art, characters and writing are great stuff, and I was reviewing its value to fan artists and fan fiction writers. Great for that. I think the gameplay is unbalanced, banal and old hat. I wasn’t there to review the gameplay, so it got published.
dropped out of it when I realised I didn’t care what people who would read the next article I was writing thought about my thoughts. The world is too divisive for anyone to take ”coding is better than explicit queer representation, much of the time” well. Waste of my time. and new games suck anyway. Haven’t even been on a podcast in like 7 months)
now I pirate retro games for my fun times.
I do own some I have pirated, because it’s easier to pirate them.

Got back into reading novels with my eyeballs this past year, which has been a blast.
 
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Hell, if they played video games of artistic merit it could be enough to immerse in after the bath and grass.
Used to have spirited debate with a friend about the implications of political movements in the history of Tamriel with a friend.

it doesn’t stop at games because yoko taro, but I have spent at least a few hours per week, and often multiple days per, thinking about the DrakeNieR universe since Automata came out.
Some people put tons of time into NieR Automata for the gameplay alone, and I think that misses the point.
2B isn’t even the main character! She is, from the start, following 9S. Even officially, it’s his mission.
Game isn’t even balanced… It’s fun, but only because YoRHa units are OP.
I think a lot of the ”improvements“ to Replicant are big failures. Destroys the meta commentary on video games. Yet it’s for the best…

Seeking out true value in something takes effort.

i got into games journalism for a hot minute, I cared so much about games. (Discovered the whole industry is rotten, even the parts talking about the rot. They don’t need to pay reviewers off. The publisher knows which kind of review will get clicks and finds the right reviewer for it. if I had nothing positive to say about Hades, I wouldn’t have gotten in that ‘zine. I hate that game top to bottom, but I think that objectively speaking the art, characters and writing are great stuff, and I was reviewing its value to fan artists and fan fiction writers. Great for that. I think the gameplay is unbalanced, banal and old hat. I wasn’t there to review the gameplay, so it got published.
dropped out of it when I realised I didn’t care what people who would read the next article I was writing thought about my thoughts. The world is too divisive for anyone to take ”coding is better than explicit queer representation, much of the time” well. Waste of my time. and new games suck anyway. Haven’t even been on a podcast in like 7 months)
now I pirate retro games for my fun times.
I do own some I have pirated, because it’s easier to pirate them.

Got back into reading novels with my eyeballs this past year, which has been a blast.
what about this chapter induced low grade psychotic episodes in weirdos
 
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Justified Angst*
No, justified angst in a trauma dump
Look, just because I tried to be helpful doesn’t mean you need to stalk my old posts to find things to dislike.
It’s kinda creepy.
 
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Okay, gonna stop you right here. The rest you typed out is mostly right/agree with and you wrote it in a really beautiful way. BUT this relationship clearly is not give and take. It is one-sided. This is literally 1 by 1 the same as the streamer analogy. It legit reads like one obsessed fan and their oshi being in that "I tolerate you but I don't actively enjoy your presence/would ever seek you out" relationship, which was not the case before. That is also why whatever happens next won't feel as.. satisfying.. I guess I would describe the feeling?

To be fair, her dream of being that insane, godlike musician is well deserved and she clearly works hard for it but what she turned into the past some ~10(?) chapters is just weird- more so if we take into account your point made about them being in high school. This is MILES above the usual overexaggerated high school drama, where small stuff is blown way out of proportion. That is what makes it ~not so beautiful~ for me personally. No doubt what happens next seems to be what everyone wanted but no matter what ends up happening or what the "pay off" is, it will be tainted by what happened before.

Also, I am not some huge hater of the series. I bought the physical release until now but I already decided I will not do it again going forward as this series took a turn I really did not enjoy, personally. It is by no means a bad series but I think the potential was way(!) higher than what we are seeing right now.
ew your user foghorn sound effect
 
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So.... why is her focusing on her music instead of her friends and relationships a good thing....???

Because I also had this issue with a streamer I loved, and sorry, just because you work hard doesn't mean it's something ANYONE should care about. It's selfish, and you know she'll go on and on about how important it to her and just assume you'll also be cool with sacrificing almost everything you liked about them. BUT IM WORKING HARD RIGHT! NO SLEEP 4 ME HUR HUR SO HARD WORKING. I just liked the old person you were, the one who liked the same music as me, not who ever you want to be in the future
It sucks that she ignored everyone around her but entirely sacrificing the passion for thing you love only to maintain your "previous self" for the people around you is a straight up wrong conclusion.

The interesting thing about stagnation is that it's still change - a person that listened to the album when it came out is a completely different entity from a person that still only listens to it 10 years later, due to former experiencing something new. And if you only capable of loving a certain version of a person have a peace with them being gone - even them returning to the previous place will not be the same. The case you described doesn't sound like something that brings harm to other people, but something that may not bring them joy so the issue isn't that she behaves not how you want, it's that for some reason you can't find other people to vibe with, especially considering that you're talking about a streamer, someone who likely never depended on you specifically for shaping their identity. And maybe that streamer will lose her following, that's something she'll have to deal with.

In this case, there ARE people that depend on her and she depends on in return so it sucks that she have shut them off, but she has a bout of very specific artistic focus that is short-lived (i.e it seems like a couple of weeks tops have passed) and, based on my experience, losing it will straight up make her want to die and really down so it's not like shaking her out of it will make her particularly sociable. It's one of those things where you just prod occasionally so both parties can be on the same page, in general friendship allows a degree of selfishness as long as you allow others the same.

And finally, it seems in both the case of Koga and the streamer you mentioned music was already a big part of their lives, it's not unexpected to have to deal with something like this.

Have a good day.
 
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No, my mom beat me because she thought I was possessed by a demon because I was so depressed and angry. She said there was a black aura around me and I had no soul and I should kill myself over and over as I grew up. I’m being 100% serious right now. Sorry I don’t know what love is like. I just read vicariously through fucking manga. I’m a fucking loser who’s gonna die alone what do you want?
Previous person was rude, but what you described, and how you described, and willingness to immediately bring it up does mean that you need therapy and some people to lean back on as you do it. The former is expensive and the latter is infinitely more challenging though, so i'd recommend some catharsis through reading heavy shit/some hobby as a starting point, just to release some anger, rather than lay good feelings on top of it

(music/drawing/writing are classic, but maybe something that requires physical exertion like exercise, or sculpting(from clay to woodcarving), or constructing, or heavy repair, etc. would be more fitting. Considering that you do like music though I'd say that trombone and accordion are quite heavy fuckers to manipulate and screaming out your favorite lyrics also releases tension)

To restate my previous point before I've seen this response - friendship allows selfishness to a certain degree, so I'm sure someday you'll be able to find people that iconvenience you and who you inconvenience and it would be a good thing.

Have a good day, your mom can rot and the demon that posessed you was her.
 
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Previous person was rude, but what you described, and how you described, and willingness to immediately bring it up does mean that you need therapy and some people to lean back on as you do it. The former is expensive and the latter is infinitely more challenging though, so i'd recommend some catharsis through reading heavy shit/some hobby as a starting point, just to release some anger, rather than lay good feelings on top of it

(music/drawing/writing are classic, but maybe something that requires physical exertion like exercise, or sculpting(from clay to woodcarving), or constructing, or heavy repair, etc. would be more fitting. Considering that you do like music though I'd say that trombone and accordion are quite heavy fuckers to manipulate and screaming out your favorite lyrics also releases tension)

To restate my previous point before I've seen this response - friendship allows selfishness to a certain degree, so I'm sure someday you'll be able to find people that iconvenience you and who you inconvenience and it would be a good thing.

Have a good day, your mom can rot and the demon that posessed you was her.
i'm not rude, dude schizod out about some vtuber not bending to his will and then traumadumped to try to worm his way out of being called a parasocial schizo weirdo. my therapy suggestion was genuine, but i'm not gonna sugarcoat it cuz that dude on some columbine shit lmao
 
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If it's not a love song or atleast a song that point out how important she is to her I'm going to be a bit disappointed. I've waited long enough 😤
 

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