The "Wow this is a horrible idea and we should have just stopped; but now that we're here I want to see how much chaos we can cause in this non-discor

[Teddy]

ATTENTION!!! THIS THREAD IS ONLY FOR STORY WRITING!!! USE CHARACTER COLLECTION THREAD TO COMMENT ON HOW ATROCIOUS THIS IDEA IS!!!


@MoonlightFairy

Once upon a time, in the middle of a busy town in the Capital kingdom, there was a tavern where Bob and Hope usually delivered their harvest products to the owner.
They saw, in the corner of the room, John, a lonely person. Both of the siblings were approaching him, and then they asked why he is so lonely. He told the siblings that he was so lonely and in need of a house to improve his solitary experience. The siblings confused, and suggested to meet Randolf the Ranchid, the only architect in town, who was also don't have a will to life. For the siblings thought at least, people like them may understand each other.

To be continued by person after me

@Albwin

Still shaking their heads about the antisocial John, Bob and Hope returned to their farm which consisted of nothing more than some fields, a stable where the oxen and cart could be parked (Their father's motto was: "Ride a horse, have remorse. If a ox cart you are driveing, slow but safe you are arriving."), and a farming shed, no house anywhere to be seen. A farm house was not necessary though, for Bob and Hope were residents of Japan. They entered the shed and returned to Earth with a magic cicle for interdimensional travel which could only be used by members of their family, the de Spair family.
Thus Bob and Hope de Spair exited the magic circle on the other side in a closet full of Bob's otaku goods, giving the word closet otaku a whole new meaning. The otaku blood ran deep in the de Spair family, had their parents, both genius magicians, explicitly come to Japan after getting hooked on some manga left behind by one of the many heroes or anti-heroes summoned from Japan. Bob, Hope, and their long lost brother were already born in Japan, growing up in two worlds at the same time.

After returning home, Hope left for her part time job in a maid café, taking along missing posters featuring her lost pet, Roo-chan the roomba. Bob sat down in the living room to watch a recording of his favorite anime he hadn't watched last night since he was out drinking with some former military colleagues in isekai. But just as he got to the good part he heard the doorbell ring...

 

[bigtiddyoneesan]

John, after spending two days cooped up in bed contemplating the meaning of his existence, finally decided it was time to go see Randal the Rancid, in order to get the house he had always dreamed of; the house where he could live in solitude for the rest of his miserable days.

After a short walk through town, John eventually found Randal's shop, dubbed Randal-Mart. Before John could chuckle to himself over the uninspired naming choice of Randal, however, he felt an urge to use the lavatory. And, unfortunately for him, it was number two. Since John had been extremely hesitant to use public restrooms his entire life due to his crippling anxiety (partially caused by his tendency to pull his pants the whole way down when peeing), he figured the safest choice at hand was to simply ask the man he had come to see for some time in his personal restroom.

John entered Randal's store, only to find Randal sitting behind a wide counter, with his hands moving in a strange and erratic fashion. Randal snapped his head upwards to meet John's gaze, and immediately brought his hands from below the counter to its surface. After some awkward pleasantries were exchanged, along with John explaining his reason for coming to see Randal, John proceeded to inquire about using Randal's bathroom, to which Randal was more than happy to oblige. Randal decided that showing John how to get to the bathroom would be the quickest way for John to get there. In addition, he wasn't fond of the idea of John wandering around the back of his shop unsupervised. Thus, Randal stood, adjusted his pants, and headed towards the bathroom with John in hot pursuit (yes they were running). Once Randal reached the outside of the restroom, he turned to speak to John, in order to let him know that the door he was standing in front of was, indeed, the bathroom. But when Randal turned his head, disaster struck, and it struck hard.

For you see, Randal had been born with an extremely sizeable nose. And in turning to speak to John, he ended up walloping the side of John's head with his tremendous schnoz. John collapsed immediately, and defecated in his pants not long after falling unconscious. The stench was ungodly. Normal people might have been able to deal with it, but not Randal; for Randal's sense of smell was heightened far more than the average person. Randal cried out in agony, fell to his knees, and began to let the tears run down his face, which had been contorted in an expression of ultimate pain.

After he had regained his composure, as well as awareness of his surroundings, Randal came to an unsettling realization. John, for the past fourteen hours, had been lying on the floor, in a pool of his own excrement, without moving an inch.

Could he be... dead?

<-------------- To Be Continued

 

[Teddy]

Meanwhile over at de Spair Japanese home. Bob opened the door... To his immediate regret; it was a Cable Salesman.

"(I knew I should've checked the spyhole before opening the door, Chicken Nugget Fried Rice!!!)" Bob cursed to himself.

Suddenly a thought came to Bob. He immediately hunched his back, placed a finger to his mouth, looked up and said, "Morning Onii-san! Uwu! Mummy and Papa aren't home! Who are you? <3"


"..."
"..."

Although Bob was still a legitimate under 20 child, he had had his growth spurt already... If Bob hadn't hunched his back he was probably taller than the salesman. Though Bob had genetic similarity to Hope, he didn't inherit enough X chromosomes to be the cute sister archetype.


The two man sized, silently malfunctioning and dying humans stared at each other as American imported/Japanese modified anthromorphic tumbleweed sold weed to druggos in the background.

"W-Would you be... C-Cable?"
"O-Oui"
"Papier"
"J-Ja"
"G-G'day"
"An-nyeong"

Bob then closed the door...and wrote another page to the dark chapters of his life.

NEXT

 

[Albwin]

While Bob remained at home wallowing in a self-condemning recounting of the latest happening making him cringe all over again and seeking solace under his blanket, for he was in no state to continue watching his favorite anime, his sister (whom he believed to be a brother due to her lack of certain typically female fatty tissue and her tomboyish behavior accompanying it) had to deal with problems of her own. Soon after leaving the house she felt a constant gaze on herself but whenever she turned around she could see nobody suspicious.

"That was a close call!" sighed Kid, a boy in the first year of middle school who still looked very much like a sixth grader if it was not for his gakuran. Kid was not his real name of course but a nickname he got stuck with until nobody knew his name anymore. A fate common in his family, as could also be seen at the example of his diminutive little brother Tiny who now was called Titan Tiny after a recent major growth spurt.
Don't think of that brawny bastard! Kid told himself while shaking his head. After all it was Titan Tiny's fault after all that he had to find a new crush. His previous crush of two months, Kenyama Jutsuko, had fallen for this bastard of an oversized fifth grader when he saved her from a rampant truck. No one but her could so beautifully smash in your nose with her martial arts tempered fist when you flipped her skirt, looking at you like you were utter trash. Now, that Jutsuko hovered around his little brother drunk on love like a butterfly around a flower (though an extremely burly flower, to be sure), Kid had a broken heart. Where had she gone, his ice cold Queen from the merciless realm of dojos?
But Kid wouldn't have been Kid if he had dwelled on it for long. He decided to find a new crush, even better than Jutsuko, to show the muscle brain girl and the muscle monster boy that he was happier than ever. (Not that Titan Tiny had been in a relationship with Jutsuko. As a ten years old boy his mind was more on things other than love.) Thus Kid consulted with Randy, an otter dwelling under his bed who was ultimately responsible for Kid's perverted ways. In truth, Randy was a human reincarnated as an otter (of all things in Japan where otters are extinct) who played the saxophone and loved to hit the bars - or would have loved to when otters wouldn't have been denied entry. Curiously, he could visit maid cafés though, where he made aquaintance with Hope, a high school maid who beat you up mercilessly if you called her a flat chest. Thinking she would be exactly Kid's type, he introduced the boy to her, and Kid was charmed at first sight, though not enough to forget the dilemma with Jutsuko right away. Therefore he decided to keep watch on Hope, lest that a certain someone might steal her from him by saving her from certain death, and did so the third week now. To have something close to her heart, he even stole her beloved pet roomba which she now looked for desperately, unaware that the true culprit was ever so close.

After hiding behind a tree for some time to not get spotted by Hope, Kid now decided to continue stalking his xth true love, but just as he was about to follow her again somebody hit his head. Kid turned around, shouting "Hey!" while showing an expression as if he had been incredibly wronged, only to freeze up right the very same moment. In front of him stood Sato Haruto, the neighbor boy whom he feared more than anyone else...

 

[Teddy]

Sato Haruto, with his short black hair, lectured Kid, "The lights changing red! If you pop out now, you could get seriously injured!"

As he said that a stray cat wandered onto the road as a massive truck approached the intersection.

Sato Haruto immediately sprung into action. He sprinted up the tree Kid was hiding behind and leaped...onto a branch and stay there, clutching the tree with his dear life... As the truck driver slowed down and let the stray cat cross.

Sato Haruto was cursed with his perfectly plain looks that attracted both women and trucks. He had had 3 near misses in the pass month.

1. A truck's handbrake broke and rolled downhill towards Sato Naruto
2. A dog jumped into a moving truck, licked the driver's face, making him swerve towards Sato Haruto.
3. The truck driver had a heart attack, crashed through the barriers of the overpass and plummeted straight into Sato Haruto

But Sato Haruto was skilled with experience and dodged each one. He knew with his affliction, if he went into Hospital unconscious and the attending staff were female; he would wake up to a clipboard that listed alot more intimate examinations than normal procedure.

Sato Haruto was a teen who was both gynophobic and Ochophobic

Sometimes during these periods of unconsciousness he would dream of a nightmare full of Tutu wearing trucks that would chase Sato Haruto around Honking their horns til their red-painted Bumpers contacted with Sato Haruto.

It seemed real at times..too real, but ISEKAI plots are way too overused and cliche, so obviously it was all just a dream...atleast thats what Sato Haruto thought to himself
NEXT

 

[Teddy]

As Kid left the whimpering Sato Haruto in the tree, he crossed the road to continue following Hope. As he kept walking along; he didn't realise that someone else was still following him. Someone more skilled and whom should have appeared ages ago...It was Twob, Hope's better Brother that excelled over Bob in everything that Bob could do. Twob had already located where the precious Roomba was but he needed to collect evidence of Kid's deviant and highly illegal acts.

Twob followed Kid who followed Hope. Kid protected Hope from other love interests, Twob protected Hope from Kid. Hope was stalked by Kid whilst Kid was stalked by Twob. Kid found the Roomba that Kid had stolen from Hope. Hope was cute to Kid who wasn't cute according to Twob. Twob loved Hope and likewise Kid also love Hope. Hope also loved Twob and unlike for Twob, Hope did not love Kid; she barely even knew who Kid was. Hope and Twob were family but Kid was no where near being an In-Law. Hope didn't know what Kid and Twob were doing, Kid didn't know what Twob was doing and none of the bystanders knew what any of them were doing.

As Hope reached her Cafe, Kid started to set up his hiding spot in a bush across from the cafe, Twob on the otherhand put on a disguise as a surveyor. Hiding in plain sight was always superior hiding in the shadows. By the way Bob was also another low-level shadow hider when he tried to hide. As Kid took photos of the UNDERAGE HOPE WITHOUT HER CONSENT, Twob took photos of the also UNDERAGE KID WITHOUT HIS CONSENT. This would be a weird legal battle, but this is a story not harsh reality, so everything's fine.

On the otherhand Hope was working in the Cafe completely unaware of how creepy this whole situation was. Thankfully ignorance is bliss and she won't be needing any lengthy psychological treatment as long Twob was protecting her. Thankfully Twob hadn't died yet otherwise it was certain that Bob would've botched up protecting Hope one way or another. Hope played the Tsundere role at her Cafe, which she enjoyed as she was able to practice her punches on the customers whilst getting paid and with no legal consequences. It really was the perfect Job for Hope. Thankfully Hope stuck to Maid Cafe's instead of more high paying jobs/illegal job for the UNDERAGED that included punching/whipping customers otherwise the Weebs would call her names and insult her despite any other traits/experiences she may have. The 4th Wall is there for both our and the characters safety/comfort.

As Hope punched her 14th Customer for the day, The biggest (by height) Onee-san (By age not seniority) approached Hope with a tray of Tea whilst wobbling in her new unaccustomed heels.

NEXT

 

[Albwin]

It came how it had to come: The onee-san lost her footing, tumbling to the ground and sending both the tea tray and a broken heel flying. Confronted with the hot tea (like in boiling hot, far too hot to drink) flying in her direction, Hope did the only thing she could do: take the tray, block the tea, and send it in the direction of the most masochistic customer who gave her a disgustingly ecstatic smile of gratitude for this unparalleled treatment.

Meanwhile the heel did fly in the other direction, nailing the oblivious Kid to the wall. Since his heart beat like crazy due to this unbelievable chain of events while he looked at Hope (he was stalking her after all), Kid believed to have fallen in love even deeper while admiring his crush's gallant way of causing second degree burns with guideless hot tea. Twob, on the other hand, had really no idea what to think...

 

[Teddy]

Hope walked out of the store as it was the end of her shift, aside from showering a customer in hot tea and getting thanked for it. It was just another normal day... But it wasn't a normal day for the readers because this is gonna be the obligatory fan service chapter that has absolute Jack's poop to do with this anthology.

It was mid spring so although the sun stayed out longer than in winter, the sunset was still quickly approaching. It was Bob's turn to cook dinner and although it tasted nothing like Twobs cooking; it was still edible and better yet, it meant Hope had time to look for a swimsuit.

With the setting to an obligatory fan service underway of a underaged fictional female character that appeals to" lolicons" [Noun, plural] (pedos who are only interested in small girls who have 2 less D's than the average 3D male). Hope travelled to the nearby Shopping Mall and headed into the swimwear section of a clothing shop.

Behind her ofcourse was Kid and behind him ofcourse was Twob. As Kid's heart rate quickly reached 180 due to his perversion, Twob's heart rate rose to 200 due to the fear that this perverted stalker might attack his sister whilst she was in a swimsuit.

Fortunately for Hope she couldn't feel the thicken auras behind her and checked out a few swimsuits. (Now unfortunately I am a male and have never went swimsuit shopping with females, you can just imagine her as any normal being that is looking for clothing by themselves; I dont know all the different types and styles and how each style accentuates different body parts or how much blood Kid lost imagining Hope in each of the different styles. Soz you can imagine that yourselves; I'm obviously not a writer)

Kid quickly moved as Hope closed the curtain behind her in one of the changing stalls. Bringing out his Canon, Kid tried to position himself in line with the narrow slit between the curtain and the changing stall wall. He held his breath and waited for any skin to show through that narrow slit.

A finger peeked through then the back of an arm, then back of the arm pits, Hopes shoulder blade but then Hope turned around!!!! But she also move slightly away so that only her elbow crease was visble again. The disappointment only fuelled Kid's excitement as his whole head reddened and started to feel a little dizzy.

Right then a store attendant called out to Kid, kid quickly hid away his Canon inside a nearby basket of clothes.

"Are you Lost, child" the attendant said. Kid's short stature and baby face had saved him!

Kid quickly thought, "(How can I get this woman buzz off! I need to get shots of my lovely HOPE!!!)". Instead he could only say, "I wanted to get a swimsuit but I only know it was this floor!"

"Oooooh, how precious, I'll bring you over to the boys section and help you pick one out Ara~ I meant dear customer" Kid thought that the attendant's eyes had glowed mid sentence but decided to ignore it; he only had to quickly choose a swimsuit and he could get back to watching Hope.

Unfortunately Kid found out the hard way that this store attendant was very enthusiastic and forced Kid to try out every type of swimsuit; Trunks, speedos, wetsuit etc. With every type of cartoon character printed on them. Thankfully Kid was able to keep his innocence by stopping the atrendant from barging into the changing stalls to help change his clothes.

After what felt like an eternity Kid rush back to the female section hoping to still see Hope. Hope had left... But all was not lost, Kid scrambled to get to the basket he left his Canon in. He found it! He quickly turned it on and tried to see whether any of the shots he taken had anything special in it...but to his fear, every shot of Hope he had made were deleted; not just from the clothes store but every photo he had ever made, Kid had forgotten the golden rule of soft copies: Always make a backup. The only photos left inside was... Photos of him acting as child and modeling for the attendant in every swimsuit that she chose; except the last photo. The last photo on memory was a note with the following words...

"I have another copy of these photoes, if you ever get close to Hope again, you'll see them shared on your school's website!"

Kid fell to his knees and cried out, defeated....

Twob on the otherhand returned home with a set of Hope's favourite cheese tarts and upon opening the door, Hope greeted Twob with a hug before quickly stealing the tarts away to put in the fridge. As Hope danced around putting each tart in the fridge; Twob placed a hand on her head and rubbed it.

Truly lolis are only for petting

NEXT