I will not comment on the translation itself, but what was happening with that typesetting? I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many instances of single punctuation on a line of its own. Also, splitting words without hyphens makes it awful to read. You can make the text smaller to fit bubbles, and if for some reason you can’t, at least add a stroke to the text so it doesn’t blend into the edge of the bubble.
I just noticed on the NSFW pages (which you can upload on Mangadex) that you are asking people to join your Patreon. You need to put a lot more work into your editing before you should even consider asking for money (which, in principle, I am against).