Welcome Back, Alice - Vol. 5 Ch. 29.5 - Afterword

[MangaDex]

 

[advs0220]

Least trans Oshimi Shuzo afterword

 

[Pancakeman0]

How deep is the author in their own egg??

 

[nyamcam]

author fr onto it

 

[zoo-wee-mama]

it appears young shuzo didn't realize the grass isn't greener on the other side

 

[Marxofcain]

Omfg this made me cry

 

[Marxofcain]

It's like reading my inner thoughts

 

[mvryvm]

i wish he could realize that there is a way to escape that pain of manhood.

 

[abyssSeeker]

i wish he could realize that there is a way to escape that pain of manhood.

How? Or you mean transitioning?

 

[mvryvm]

How? Or you mean transitioning?

yes

 

[abyssSeeker]

yes

But I don't think this is portraying gender dysphoria as such. It looks to me to not to be about necessarily identifying as a different gender, but more to do with the expectations that come with that gender (and also dealing with lust). Both the author (from his epilogues) and MC are more rejecting what is I guess interpreted by the world as masculinity, to the point they don't want to identify with it at all, they don't want to be boys/men but don't want to be girls/women either. They find both genders to come with expectations that constrain their true nature whatever that could be (That's just what I'm getting from this). I will admit I can somewhat relate to what the mangaka was trying to portray, I'm not sure if transitioning would be the solution though.
To me the root issue being brought about here is the social pressure which exists that is inflicted on both genders with expectations that oftentimes override the individuality of a person. That's what I got when I reached the end of the story though, I could very well be completely off. 😅

 

[mvryvm]

But I don't think this is portraying gender dysphoria as such. It looks to me to not to be about necessarily identifying as a different gender, but more to do with the expectations that come with that gender (and also dealing with lust). Both the author (from his epilogues) and MC are more rejecting what is I guess interpreted by the world as masculinity, to the point they don't want to identify with it at all, they don't want to be boys/men but don't want to be girls/women either. They find both genders to come with expectations that constrain their true nature whatever that could be (That's just what I'm getting from this). I will admit I can somewhat relate to what the mangaka was trying to portray, I'm not sure if transitioning would be the solution though.
To me the root issue being brought about here is the social pressure which exists that is inflicted on both genders with expectations that oftentimes override the individuality of a person. That's what I got when I reached the end of the story though, I could very well be completely off. 😅

u are right but i feel like the majority of the longing that the mc of this particular story feels only partly aligns with what oshimi is going thru. most of oshimi's characters are representations of his own feelings, his own desires, his own mindset and yo represents that part of him that wants to be released from the shackles of sex (M/F), of gender, of the societal oppression that pushes him into being not only a man but the type of man they want him to be. oshimi even said almost exactly in this afterword that he wants to go to the time before those things existed. just like yo. but i do think that the main characters of one of his other manga, inside mari, are more representative of that side of him that wants to transition. he claims that he sees women, womens bodies, as his ideal, in a sort of (what he believes to be) disgusting ritual of masturbating, idolizing, and envying. he wants to be released from gender, in the way society perceives it aka the stereotyped versions of gender that society wants him to conform to, but he also wants to be released from the pain of manhood. it does have to do with him not wanting to be constrained anymore as a man but it goes beyond that, goes into wishing to be a woman as well. i think an easier life, at least psychologically, awaits him if he decides to transition. he already seems to have identified the cause of his issues, his reasons for feeling the way he does; i just dont think he sees transitioning as a viable option. its sort of like seeing the one path that can lead u to happiness but u dont feel like u deserve it. then again!!!! this is just my interpretation of it!! i would just rather he not subject himself to any further pain if the solution really is just transitioning.

 

[abyssSeeker]

u are right but i feel like the majority of the longing that the mc of this particular story feels only partly aligns with what oshimi is going thru. most of oshimi's characters are representations of his own feelings, his own desires, his own mindset and yo represents that part of him that wants to be released from the shackles of sex (M/F), of gender, of the societal oppression that pushes him into being not only a man but the type of man they want him to be. oshimi even said almost exactly in this afterword that he wants to go to the time before those things existed. just like yo. but i do think that the main characters of one of his other manga, inside mari, are more representative of that side of him that wants to transition. he claims that he sees women, womens bodies, as his ideal, in a sort of (what he believes to be) disgusting ritual of masturbating, idolizing, and envying. he wants to be released from gender, in the way society perceives it aka the stereotyped versions of gender that society wants him to conform to, but he also wants to be released from the pain of manhood. it does have to do with him not wanting to be constrained anymore as a man but it goes beyond that, goes into wishing to be a woman as well. i think an easier life, at least psychologically, awaits him if he decides to transition. he already seems to have identified the cause of his issues, his reasons for feeling the way he does; i just dont think he sees transitioning as a viable option. its sort of like seeing the one path that can lead u to happiness but u dont feel like u deserve it. then again!!!! this is just my interpretation of it!! i would just rather he not subject himself to any further pain if the solution really is just transitioning.

I agree with you and do find it really interesting how Oshimi basically has that aspect where he idolizes womanhood or rather more specifically girlhood. His perception of femininity in regards to gender seems synonymous with almost childlike innocence and is rather simplistic in that sense.
Perhaps masturbating is merely serving as his form of release from his (I presume) agony. I can almost relate to that aspect, having been exposed to pornography from my early teens, now in my mid-thirties. It is something I've been gradually working to be fully rid of. As I grew older and fell deeper into the obscene, a part of myself always hated what I had become, and wished for that lost innocence. This made me harbour a self-hatred, which of course wasn't good. I can say I am doing a lot better nowadays though. So I can somewhat understand and even relate to some of the what he expresses. Though the other aspects are definitely alien to me and feel very abstract. Either way, I agree that he doesn't seem to be in a great place psychologically and perhaps if transitioning would alleviate that then it would be a viable option. I haven't really read Oshimi's other works, I read flowers of evil nearly a decade ago as I was getting into the psychological genre, but it didn't really stick for me, I dropped it partway. I'm really curious to check out more of his works and maybe revisit that manga now.

 

[mvryvm]

I agree with you and do find it really interesting how Oshimi basically has that aspect where he idolizes womanhood or rather more specifically girlhood. His perception of femininity in regards to gender seems synonymous with almost childlike innocence and is rather simplistic in that sense.
Perhaps masturbating is merely serving as his form of release from his (I presume) agony. I can almost relate to that aspect, having been exposed to pornography from my early teens, now in my mid-thirties. It is something I've been gradually working to be fully rid of. As I grew older and fell deeper into the obscene, a part of myself always hated what I had become, and wished for that lost innocence. This made me harbour a self-hatred, which of course wasn't good. I can say I am doing a lot better nowadays though. So I can somewhat understand and even relate to some of the what he expresses. Though the other aspects are definitely alien to me and feel very abstract. Either way, I agree that he doesn't seem to be in a great place psychologically and perhaps if transitioning would alleviate that then it would be a viable option. I haven't really read Oshimi's other works, I read flowers of evil nearly a decade ago as I was getting into the psychological genre, but it didn't really stick for me, I dropped it partway. I'm really curious to check out more of his works and maybe revisit that manga now.

putting all of the other stuff aside for now, i do hope that u do continue in trying to better urself and that u reach a place where u no longer harbor self hatred for ur habits. the fact that u are working to lose those habits already says somethinng about u, and i believe in u. also, i hadn't considered that he might be using masturbating as a way to release his agony; i guess in that situation, he would only be locked in a cycle of pain and masturbation, continuing to do the very thing he feels guilty about and paining himself further.

on a side note, i have read flowers of evil and did like it. i didnt feel like it delved into anything gender-wise, only the inherent shame and humiliation that comes with adolescence and unfamiliar feelings of lust. i think maybe rereading it with a newer perspective, like knowing the author's intentions and his own feelings (and self hatred for his loss of innocence due to his overwhelming feelings of desire at a young age), might make it a better read. it kind of flew over my head the first time i read it, but at the time i took everything that happened at surface value. i definitely recommend inside mari, and am currently reading happiness. i have also only heard great things about blood on the tracks and it seems to have the same themes that run thru all of oshimis works. i hope u enjoy the other works!!