What would you do? - Giving a reason to live.

[Mr_Detective]

Hello,

Welcome to our episode today of Mangadex: What Would You Do?

The results we have from last week shows that the majority of you guys truly wish for death upon humanity. Well done, well done.

Here's our situation for today's show: you're shitposting on MD, having fun being more useless than Aqua as always. All of a sudden, you feel a cold touch of metal on your neck. You realize that it's from a scythe! A shinigami suddenly appeared behind you, and is about to kill you!

She says "There are too many humans on this planet. I need to get rid of some of them. You look like someone who I can erase without any dire consequence. Unless you have a good reason for me to not kill you. Hm?"

What would you do?

 

[justforthelulz]

Offer up a list of two million other (ostensibly) humans (and quite a few bots) for her to cull from instead.
Get her to agree to a contract so that I am now excluded from all sacrifice candidate lists, not just hers.

 

[PantsMan]

Offer her to make me a shinigami as well; we can split her job between the two of us that way. Or at least turn me into a ghost that can haunt people/houses until I'm ready to pass on. She just needs fewer humans around, right?

 

[BroederTrapist]

Negotiate.

Starting with a nonsensical question like
"Do you like apples?"

Spoiler

 

[comeonnow0]

@BroederTrapist
Your image link is broken, though

Spoiler

you could try to play it off as a meta reference to how (in-Universe, obviously) only those who have physically touched a Death Note can see Shinigami.

 

[BroederTrapist]

@comeonnow0
Was already fixing it. But that's a nice idea. Not sure I would ask for her notebook.

Spoiler

Light's end was worse than standard reincarnation

 

[ElBichoRaro]

I'd simply tell her "You're 34 years late! What the hell were you doing?!"

 

[hazzack]

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!!"
then proceed to run away.

 

[Richman]

"Will you marry me? I'll help you too" And then steal justforthelulz's plan.

I mean, if I die right now, why not take the chance? It's a goddess we're talking about.

 

[crazybars]

Shinigami, You should play

Destroy All Humans, on X box

 

[aloysiusks]

no way am i dying. im gonna isekai to another world biatch

 

[bigtiddyoneesan]

Similar to the others that suggested negotiating and helping find people worth scything.

Whether or not I'd want to become a Shinigami myself would depend on the benefits, though.

 

[nothingtosay]

imma do the only thing that I'm good at

that would be... giving up

 

[LunaKara]

There's only one thing to do: Create a living Hell!

Spoiler

Los! Los! Los! ensues

That is, using the best weapon of my arsenal:
Annoyance
First, I would inquire about her judgement
What are the reasons and proofs she have for deeming my death as with no big consequences? Also, if she is asking for me to give a good motive for not be killed, is pretty clear that the problem is not world overpopulation (cuz if it was, then they would not lose time hearing puny humans excuses for not dying), she is just fucking bored!
If I'm still alive at this point (if not, ghost life, yay) then I only need convince her that leave me alive would be much more interesting that my death and proceed to sign a contract where if my existence stops relieving her boredom, she can kill me right away
And considering the madness I call my life, I'm gonna live for at least another century

 

[ColorfulSoy]

embrace it.

 

[immortalartisan]

I still have games to make

 

[Teddy]

"THIS DEMON AIMS TO HARM ME, BY YOUR COMPASSION UPON ME, SMITE HER!!!"

friendly reminder that although DOOM is about slaying demons, it is not inherently Chrisitan, but ay probably still has better theology than some people somehow.

Also they recorded "Jesus Loves you" as the demon noises lol

 

[BroederTrapist]

@Teddy
A shinigami is not a demon. Those guides for the dead are not even related to monotheism.

J. be like

Spoiler

 

[Kaarme]

Scythe makes a lousy weapon, so I would fight back. I'd have a fighting chance.

 

[gomichandesu]

she's absolutely right and I would thank her for her service