World of Raek
- Thread starter MangaDex
- Start date
i like this , its a good start,
just some opinions of mine since i DO want to see more of this story:
-a little to much info-dumping (annotate the side notes @ the bottom of the page or have a çheat sheet after the last page, i see many translators do that on this site)
like after the end of the early episodes of RWBY- it also gives you room for adding world building notes (like the world map, races, local mythology, languages, and such)
-it might be better to use common English most of the time if you do want to use the 'local' words maybe just put it in [brackets like this]?
-try to tell the story with the artwork first then if you need to add the text boxes later, i know a lot of comic artists don't follow that rule but 'wall of texts' can be pretty alienating to your readers
(i do this myself too much😓)
+i like the fact that you seem to be jumping right into the story - but i cant yet really tell the characters apart yet, but that not unusual- its still only ep.2
+ LOVED page one
that's all i got for now, cant wait to see the next episode
just some opinions of mine since i DO want to see more of this story:
-a little to much info-dumping (annotate the side notes @ the bottom of the page or have a çheat sheet after the last page, i see many translators do that on this site)
like after the end of the early episodes of RWBY- it also gives you room for adding world building notes (like the world map, races, local mythology, languages, and such)
-it might be better to use common English most of the time if you do want to use the 'local' words maybe just put it in [brackets like this]?
-try to tell the story with the artwork first then if you need to add the text boxes later, i know a lot of comic artists don't follow that rule but 'wall of texts' can be pretty alienating to your readers
(i do this myself too much😓)
+i like the fact that you seem to be jumping right into the story - but i cant yet really tell the characters apart yet, but that not unusual- its still only ep.2
+ LOVED page one
that's all i got for now, cant wait to see the next episode
Supporter
- Joined
- May 7, 2018
- Messages
- 1,211
Haven't read the prologue yet (still under moderation, even after some hard refreshes and cookie clearing), but what got my attention was the premise of a failed "hero" + the amputation as very few manga feature protagonists with missing limbs (I can only think of Attaque).
This might be asking for spoilers but I hope the amputation is permanent, as it is too often that authors treat losing entire limbs as a minor cut that is easily fixed by throwing some red liquid onto the stump or say abracadabra and poof, all fixed now.
This might be asking for spoilers but I hope the amputation is permanent, as it is too often that authors treat losing entire limbs as a minor cut that is easily fixed by throwing some red liquid onto the stump or say abracadabra and poof, all fixed now.
- Joined
- Jul 23, 2019
- Messages
- 2
the prologue will give context to how this world came to be, December 16th is when Chapter 1 will be complete, and it'll essentially show the memories resurfacing of the cause of his amputation. And yes, it will be permanent. Currently the fix for that is a special prosthetic that will be expounded upon a bit later in the series, but the entire first 3 arcs of this story are set to mainly focus on him adapting to using his prosthetic.
How many chapters that'll cover, I'm unsure, but probably at least 20 chapters if I had to guess roughly. It never stops being a struggle though.
Member
- Joined
- Nov 20, 2018
- Messages
- 126
I see some potential here. The origin is, honestly, pretty cool. However, I'm already wondering if it's something that we need to know right off the bat, or if we'll ever need to know it at all. Isekai's so often completely forget that the MC came from another world and usually fail to make use of that fact. In other words, there's no point in an origin story if you aren't going to use it.
Like the first comment said, there's too much info in the first chapter. Unfolding your story slowly is better for the reader (we're here for comics, not books), and for you. It gives you opportunities down the road for arcs, tie-ins, twists, and other things. If you throw down too much lore early, you'll limit your options and bore your readers. It also takes away from appreciation of your art when half a panel is covered with text bubbles.
I also agree that it's best to avoid made-up languages. If your characters are supposed to be understood, stick with English. If you don't want them to be understood, or want to make it clear that they're speaking a language different from the comic's standard, then use a different language. Sousei no Taiga does a fantastic job of using languages creatively. Check it out if you haven't.
I really like the art. Gives me a Boichi vibe, and he's my favorite artist ever. I would tone down the size of the eyes a bit, though. Keep it coming. I look forward to the next chapter.
Like the first comment said, there's too much info in the first chapter. Unfolding your story slowly is better for the reader (we're here for comics, not books), and for you. It gives you opportunities down the road for arcs, tie-ins, twists, and other things. If you throw down too much lore early, you'll limit your options and bore your readers. It also takes away from appreciation of your art when half a panel is covered with text bubbles.
I also agree that it's best to avoid made-up languages. If your characters are supposed to be understood, stick with English. If you don't want them to be understood, or want to make it clear that they're speaking a language different from the comic's standard, then use a different language. Sousei no Taiga does a fantastic job of using languages creatively. Check it out if you haven't.
I really like the art. Gives me a Boichi vibe, and he's my favorite artist ever. I would tone down the size of the eyes a bit, though. Keep it coming. I look forward to the next chapter.
- Joined
- Jun 16, 2020
- Messages
- 41
Honestly the made up language adds nothing to the story and makes it feel annoying to read imo
Similar threads
