Chapter 38: It's a Little Late, but About My Childhood Friend...
A Saturday in late September.
A day I would never forget.
Yuu: "I... I've liked you for a long time, Hikari!"
Behind the stage in the gymnasium.
Two of my friends are hiding in the shadows, peeking out and silently freaking out in excitement.
And in front of me, standing stiff as a board, face beet red, my childhood friend struggles to force out his words.
Yuu: "It's true... since middle school... no, since we first became friends."
It was unmistakably my “childhood friend Ta-kun” that I knew.
A boy who was a little unreliable, shy, pure, and kind.
And now, he was squeezing out every last bit of courage he had to say these words to me.
More than the words themselves, it was his attitude that made it so incredibly convincing.
Yuu: "I'm not lying... I’ve never been able to give up."
It was exactly how I had always imagined it, ever since I first started noticing him—
"If Ta-kun ever confessed to me, I bet it would feel just like this."
Hikari: "Since... a long time ago?"
Yuu: "Since a long time ago."
Finally, I managed to find my voice.
But... it still wasn’t my answer to his confession.
Hikari: "Then, then... why did you always act like everything was normal...?"
Yuu:"Well... I was desperately trying to hold it back."
Hikari: "Why did you need to hold it back?"
Yuu:"Because we were close..."
I stood on tiptoe to get closer to his face, pouting as I pressed him for answers.
I mean, this confession was way overdue. Seriously, only now?
And even then, only after everyone else basically set the stage for him? Talk about being a massive chicken!
Yuu: "B-but if I had been all obvious about how much I liked you... and you didn’t feel the same way, the atmosphere would’ve gotten super awkward, right?"
Hikari: "Ugh..."
Yuu: "And then if you stopped coming around to my place... if we started drifting apart... I couldn’t handle that."
Hikari: "Wait, hold on a sec..."
When I was desperately pretending to act normal...
he was doing the exact same thing?
Hikari: "You thought I wasn’t thinking about you at all, Ta-kun?"
Yuu: "I didn’t think it was nothing, but... I wasn’t sure if it was that kind of feeling."
Hikari: "Come on! Ta-kun, seriously, you have no confidence!"
Yuu: "But it’s you, Hikari! Do you really think I'm good enough for you!?"
Hikari: "I do!"
Yuu: "That’s just you being mistaken! No one knows how amazing you are better than I do!"
I feel like a boomerang just keeps smacking me right in the head.
What is with this coward!
It’s so painful, like watching all my own embarrassing behavior from the past six months!
Hikari: "But, but! Lately I’ve been super obvious about how much I liked you, haven’t I?!"
Yuu: "How was I supposed to believe that! You’re naturally way too close to people! You’ve made me think the wrong thing so many times before!"
Hikari: "That's so mean!"
Seriously, Ta-kun...
I basically just confessed to you right now!
Why can’t you realize that!?
Yuu: "That's why I kept being so careful, watching for the right moment..."
You're telling me... you were that serious about confessing?
Yuu: "I wanted to wait until I was 100% sure... and then finally, with everything lined up, I could do it."
You're saying... my feelings mattered that much to you?
Hikari: "...Did you reach 100%?"
Yuu: "I’m not sure, but..."
Hikari: "But?"
Yuu: "But today... today, I just felt like I had to tell you."
Hikari: 'Why did you think it had to be today?'
I desperately held back the words that had been slipping out nonstop until now.
I pressed my lips tightly together, holding everything back.
One second, two seconds, three seconds...
Then, keeping that pressure, I forced the corners of my mouth up into a big smile.
Hikari: "So... that's how it is... huh..."
Still standing on tiptoe, right in front of his face,
I showed him a beaming smile.
Along with all the overwhelming feelings inside me.
Hikari: "I'm really, really happy, Ta-kun."
Yuu: "...!"
Those were the honest words from the bottom of my heart—no lies, no exaggeration.
I was happy. Really, truly happy.
That he had been trapped in the same dilemma as me.
That he had been carrying the same feelings as me.
That he had been hiding the same feelings as me.
And that today, everything finally been resolved.
Hikari: "I love you too... I really, really love you!"
Yuu: "Hikari..."
...Everything?
Hikari: "Maybe... no, I'm sure I realized it after you did..."
No, it’s everything.
Everything has been resolved.
Hikari: "But my feelings now are the same as yours... no, even stronger than yours."
Yuu: "That's not true... I've been in love with you for ten years!"
Honestly, I was supposed to be the one to confess first.
The future I'd been dreaming of for so long was now right here in front of me.
How could I not accept such a wonderful, miraculous accident?
Hikari: "In other words, right now, I love you more than ten times as much as you love me!"
Yuu: "There's no way that's possible..."
Yeah...
I'm sure that "thing earlier" was just a small misunderstanding.
Something tiny.
If I don't say anything, this is a happy ending...
"Heh..."
"Haha..."
So I’ll laugh.
And I’ll accept it.
Accept his feelings.
Hikari: "It doesn’t even matter, really."
Yuu: "Yeah... you're right."
Hikari: "..."
He embraced my pure feelings.
His arms wrapped around my back, holding me close.
So I wrapped my arms around his back too, grasping at the empty air above.
Yuu: "Hikari..."
Hikari: "Yeah..."
He looked deep into my eyes.
And before I could get swallowed up in his gaze, I closed mine.
It’s okay. I won’t ask anymore. I won’t look. I won’t say anything.
Because this is for being together with the person I love more than anything.
A little compromise...
should be acceptable, right?
Hikari: "...!"
Compromise?
Why do I have to compromise...
with Ta-kun?
With the first person I ever loved,
the person I love the most...
why should I ever have to compromise?
Hikari: "———!"
Yuu: "Whoa...!"
A loud crash echoed backstage.
It was because he knocked over some equipment when he fell backward onto his butt.
...No, that's not exactly right.
Because the one who pushed him was...
It was me.
Yuu: "Hi... Hikari...!"
Still sprawled on the ground, he looked up at me.
His gaze, his expression—
they said it all.
...He knew.
He knew why I did it.
Hikari: "I love you, Ta-kun! I really love you!"
Yes, it was a Saturday in late September.
A day I would never forget—
and a day I never wanted to remember.
Hikari: "But! But! I hate liars!"
Shirasaka Hikari, sixteen years old...
I just rejected my childhood friend.
...At this late stage.
...
...
...
...
I see... I knew it.
I did think Hikari was acting a little differently than usual.
She saw it.
She found out about that...
I didn’t lie.
I’ve loved Hikari, for so long, ever since way back.
But still, there’s no denying it—
today, I was the worst.
Takamura Yuu, sixteen years old...
Today, I experienced my fourth heartbreak.
And my third heartbreak with the same girl—Hikari.
