Imasara desu ga, Osananajimi wo Suki ni Natte Shimaimashita - Ch. 37 - Confession

[Rafalga]

My guess is the first time she tried to hook him up w/ someone else?

It will probably be about an off-handed comment Hikari did without knowing during that time. Depending on the writing (how cluless and hurtful Hikari was during that time) his reluctance might be %100 justified with this.

 

[middle-the-nerd]

@mug3n @HellJester @EchoGirl @nogoodsumbeach @story645 @lolfacesayshi @noleafclover75 @wozbond @Rafalga @fflogschampion @awtystic @ComNguoi @Schernobyl @Ochrolv @drakenation @BlackHoxton @Mangamoz @Ninoren @Dark1400 @outinthegardener @eviljackspicer

No manga chapter this week, but the novel chapter has been released. Here's an MTL:

Spoiler: Chapter 38

Chapter 38: It's a Little Late, but About My Childhood Friend...

A Saturday in late September.
A day I would never forget.

Yuu: "I... I've liked you for a long time, Hikari!"

Behind the stage in the gymnasium.
Two of my friends are hiding in the shadows, peeking out and silently freaking out in excitement.
And in front of me, standing stiff as a board, face beet red, my childhood friend struggles to force out his words.

Yuu: "It's true... since middle school... no, since we first became friends."

It was unmistakably my “childhood friend Ta-kun” that I knew.

A boy who was a little unreliable, shy, pure, and kind.
And now, he was squeezing out every last bit of courage he had to say these words to me.
More than the words themselves, it was his attitude that made it so incredibly convincing.

Yuu: "I'm not lying... I’ve never been able to give up."

It was exactly how I had always imagined it, ever since I first started noticing him—
"If Ta-kun ever confessed to me, I bet it would feel just like this."

Hikari: "Since... a long time ago?"
Yuu: "Since a long time ago."

Finally, I managed to find my voice.
But... it still wasn’t my answer to his confession.

Hikari: "Then, then... why did you always act like everything was normal...?"
Yuu:"Well... I was desperately trying to hold it back."
Hikari: "Why did you need to hold it back?"
Yuu:"Because we were close..."

I stood on tiptoe to get closer to his face, pouting as I pressed him for answers.

I mean, this confession was way overdue. Seriously, only now?
And even then, only after everyone else basically set the stage for him? Talk about being a massive chicken!

Yuu: "B-but if I had been all obvious about how much I liked you... and you didn’t feel the same way, the atmosphere would’ve gotten super awkward, right?"
Hikari: "Ugh..."
Yuu: "And then if you stopped coming around to my place... if we started drifting apart... I couldn’t handle that."

Hikari: "Wait, hold on a sec..."

When I was desperately pretending to act normal...
he was doing the exact same thing?

Hikari: "You thought I wasn’t thinking about you at all, Ta-kun?"
Yuu: "I didn’t think it was nothing, but... I wasn’t sure if it was that kind of feeling."
Hikari: "Come on! Ta-kun, seriously, you have no confidence!"
Yuu: "But it’s you, Hikari! Do you really think I'm good enough for you!?"
Hikari: "I do!"
Yuu: "That’s just you being mistaken! No one knows how amazing you are better than I do!"

I feel like a boomerang just keeps smacking me right in the head.
What is with this coward!
It’s so painful, like watching all my own embarrassing behavior from the past six months!

Hikari: "But, but! Lately I’ve been super obvious about how much I liked you, haven’t I?!"
Yuu: "How was I supposed to believe that! You’re naturally way too close to people! You’ve made me think the wrong thing so many times before!"
Hikari: "That's so mean!"

Seriously, Ta-kun...
I basically just confessed to you right now!
Why can’t you realize that!?

Yuu: "That's why I kept being so careful, watching for the right moment..."

You're telling me... you were that serious about confessing?

Yuu: "I wanted to wait until I was 100% sure... and then finally, with everything lined up, I could do it."

You're saying... my feelings mattered that much to you?

Hikari: "...Did you reach 100%?"
Yuu: "I’m not sure, but..."
Hikari: "But?"
Yuu: "But today... today, I just felt like I had to tell you."

Hikari: 'Why did you think it had to be today?'

I desperately held back the words that had been slipping out nonstop until now.

I pressed my lips tightly together, holding everything back.
One second, two seconds, three seconds...

Then, keeping that pressure, I forced the corners of my mouth up into a big smile.

Hikari: "So... that's how it is... huh..."

Still standing on tiptoe, right in front of his face,
I showed him a beaming smile.

Along with all the overwhelming feelings inside me.

Hikari: "I'm really, really happy, Ta-kun."
Yuu: "...!"

Those were the honest words from the bottom of my heart—no lies, no exaggeration.

I was happy. Really, truly happy.

That he had been trapped in the same dilemma as me.
That he had been carrying the same feelings as me.
That he had been hiding the same feelings as me.

And that today, everything finally been resolved.

Hikari: "I love you too... I really, really love you!"
Yuu: "Hikari..."

...Everything?

Hikari: "Maybe... no, I'm sure I realized it after you did..."

No, it’s everything.
Everything has been resolved.

Hikari: "But my feelings now are the same as yours... no, even stronger than yours."
Yuu: "That's not true... I've been in love with you for ten years!"

Honestly, I was supposed to be the one to confess first.
The future I'd been dreaming of for so long was now right here in front of me.
How could I not accept such a wonderful, miraculous accident?

Hikari: "In other words, right now, I love you more than ten times as much as you love me!"
Yuu: "There's no way that's possible..."

Yeah...
I'm sure that "thing earlier" was just a small misunderstanding.

Something tiny.

If I don't say anything, this is a happy ending...

"Heh..."
"Haha..."

So I’ll laugh.
And I’ll accept it.
Accept his feelings.

Hikari: "It doesn’t even matter, really."
Yuu: "Yeah... you're right."
Hikari: "..."

He embraced my pure feelings.

His arms wrapped around my back, holding me close.
So I wrapped my arms around his back too, grasping at the empty air above.

Yuu: "Hikari..."
Hikari: "Yeah..."

He looked deep into my eyes.
And before I could get swallowed up in his gaze, I closed mine.

It’s okay. I won’t ask anymore. I won’t look. I won’t say anything.
Because this is for being together with the person I love more than anything.

A little compromise...
should be acceptable, right?

Hikari: "...!"

Compromise?

Why do I have to compromise...
with Ta-kun?

With the first person I ever loved,
the person I love the most...
why should I ever have to compromise?

Hikari: "———!"
Yuu: "Whoa...!"

A loud crash echoed backstage.
It was because he knocked over some equipment when he fell backward onto his butt.

...No, that's not exactly right.
Because the one who pushed him was...

It was me.

Yuu: "Hi... Hikari...!"

Still sprawled on the ground, he looked up at me.
His gaze, his expression—
they said it all.

...He knew.
He knew why I did it.

Hikari: "I love you, Ta-kun! I really love you!"

Yes, it was a Saturday in late September.
A day I would never forget—
and a day I never wanted to remember.

Hikari: "But! But! I hate liars!"

Shirasaka Hikari, sixteen years old...

I just rejected my childhood friend.
...At this late stage.

...

...

...

...

I see... I knew it.

I did think Hikari was acting a little differently than usual.

She saw it.
She found out about that...

I didn’t lie.
I’ve loved Hikari, for so long, ever since way back.

But still, there’s no denying it—
today, I was the worst.

Takamura Yuu, sixteen years old...

Today, I experienced my fourth heartbreak.
And my third heartbreak with the same girl—Hikari.

Edit: Apparently the chapter was accidentally released and then removed. It must’ve been some kind of automatic release, but "It's a Little Late."

Well that was... fun

Honestly it actually somehow went a tad bit better than I expected but a few takeaways

I'm still waiting to fully judge Yuu until we see his pov (especially with the mention of his "heartbreak") and I'll give a TINY amount of credit he at least was self reflectiant enough to acknowledge he was shitty that day

I think Yuu x Yami is 99% not happening and I think Yami told Yuu how Hikari feels and I think he is genuine that he loves Hikari

Now- I know some people are probably gonna disagree with me about this but I don't think this is a situation that's completely unfixable (I mean it's completely fucked right now but imo not definitively permanent) at least if Yuu man's the fuck up

Also- funnily enough I could see Yami being a major part of mending Yuu and Hikari's relationship if that ends up happening

(Sorry this shit's super rambly I'll had to write it super quick)

 

[middle-the-nerd]

It will probably be about an off-handed comment Hikari did without knowing during that time. Depending on the writing (how cluless and hurtful Hikari was during that time) his reluctance might be %100 justified with this.

Honestly I think it's a mix of his obvious lack of self esteem and that

 

[story645]

I think Yuu x Yami is 99% not happening and I think Yami told Yuu how Hikari feels and I think he is genuine that he loves Hikari

I could see it happening but I also hope Yami didn't only b/c it would make him even more cowardly to have needed his ex to confirm Hikari's feelings to make a move. ETA: Also it would be more going w/ the flow, but this time the flow pointing towards Hikari, unless Aya explicitly made a move and he rejected her first.

Granted, I agree in thinking Hikari/Yuu isn't necessarily dead. If Maruto is going hard on contrasts, then Yuu/Hikari happens b/c they'll talk things out (bring things to light) in contrast to Yuu/Aya failing b/c they never did (keep things in dark).

 

[middle-the-nerd]

I could see it happening but I also hope Yami didn't only b/c it would make him even more cowardly to have needed his ex to confirm Hikari's feelings to make a move. ETA: Also it would be more going w/ the flow, but this time the flow pointing towards Hikari, unless Aya explicitly made a move and he rejected her first.

Granted, I agree in thinking Hikari/Yuu isn't necessarily dead. If Maruto is going hard on contrasts, then Yuu/Hikari happens b/c they'll talk things out (bring things to light) in contrast to Yuu/Aya failing b/c they never did (keep things in dark).

Honestly rereading the chapter I think I was wrong about Yami telling him since he says he still wasn't 100% sure about how Hikari felt about him but I DO think whatever they talked about was the final push for him whatever it was

And Yuu fucked up I ain't gonna try denying it but this IS Hikari we're talking about and I think if Yuu just comes fully clean about what happened between him and Yami, explain how much his insecurities fucked with him (which granted he's already started to do) and gave a genuinely apologie I think it really would go quite a ways unless he just completely backslides from this they could definitely talk this out

 

[middle-the-nerd]

Honestly if Hikari had it in her to forgive Yami for that "prank" so easily I doubt she doesn't have it in her to forgive Yuu eventually as long as he's just honest about what happened

 

[middle-the-nerd]

Spoiler

I don't think it's quite like that. I think what happened with Yami was just Yuu going with the flow, but he did end up falling in love with her and getting his heart broken when she ghosted him, since he mentions in the chapter that he got his heart broken three times with Hikari, and the other time was obviously with Yami.

Personally, I think it's kinda shitty of him to say he was always in love with Hikari when, well, there was the whole thing with Yami during part of the time he claims he was always in love with Hikari. One could argue that it's possible to like two people at once, but I'm not one of those.

Anyway, it looks like we'll get to see Yuu's POV. I just hope it's not a long flashback.

I think his feelings were genuine for Yami but he never really stopped loving Hikari it's likely his self-loathing eventually just got to point he thought "it's never happening why bother" so just tried moving on

Unfortunately not really how feelings work

 

[middle-the-nerd]

Something I just thought of is it's important to remember that Hikari's feelings for Yuu are pretty recent and him now saying he's had his heart broken twice by her I think it's seeming possible she was fairly careless in some way in the past that did give him reason to think she wouldn't be into him romantically

Edit: careless might not be a fair word actually more like "oblivious" to how he felt

 

[story645]

but I DO think whatever they talked about was the final push for him whatever it was

So I very much don't think it'll happen but my 1% possible path to Yuu/Aya is that Yuu deep down moved on and actually wants Aya but is insecure about it cause of the ghosting so convinces himself Hikari is who he still wants and whatever they talk about reinforces that, and then talking to Hikari settles his feelings and causes him to fight for Aya. I seriously doubt it'll go that route, largely cause it'll reinforce spinless!wishy washy!Yuu but 🤷‍♀️ I think it'd still hold together thematically.

 

[middle-the-nerd]

So I very much don't think it'll happen but my 1% possible path to Yuu/Aya is that Yuu deep down moved on and actually wants Aya but is insecure about it cause of the ghosting so convinces himself Hikari is who he still wants and whatever they talk about reinforces that, and then talking to Hikari settles his feelings and causes him to fight for Aya. I seriously doubt it'll go that route, largely cause it'll reinforce spinless!wishy washy!Yuu but 🤷‍♀️ I think it'd still hold together thematically.

Yeah I agree I VERY much don't see that happening lol

Especially since there's also the fact I'm not sure Yami would do that to Hikari

Say what you will about her and how their friendship started Yami does seem to genuinely care about and see Hikari as a true friend and I have a feeling she's going to to feel guilty she's part of what caused all of this

 

[story645]

Especially since there's also the fact I'm not sure Yami would do that to Hikari

Eh, Yami's still in love with him & she kissed him & it didn't look like a goodbye closure kiss, so I totally think she'd go for Yuu if she had Hikari's blessing.

But I also agree w/ you about the guilt, pretty sure that's one of the reasons she was hiding from Yuu during the festival & never told Hikari about Yuu.

 

[Litreara]

Honestly if Hikari had it in her to forgive Yami for that "prank" so easily I doubt she doesn't have it in her to forgive Yuu eventually as long as he's just honest about what happened

I think it’s easier to forgive someone you barely know than someone you’ve known for years—especially when strong feelings are involved. In cases like this, the sense of betrayal hits harder precisely because there’s history and emotional weight behind it.

Both Yuu and Yami hid the truth from Hikari, and as she said herself, she hates liars. Some might argue that withholding the truth isn’t the same as lying, but the end result is the same: both involve deception, both cause harm, and both break trust once discovered. And don’t even get me started on that nonsense about how Hikari isn’t “entitled” to know what happened between Yuu and Yami.

In an IRL scenario, Hikari would probably be done with both Yuu and Yami. But here, I think that through the power of friendship, both friendships will be preserved. I just don’t think there will be a romantic relationship—neither between Hikari and Yuu nor between Yami and Yuu.

 

[TheManWhoSeeks]

I just don’t think there will be a romantic relationship—neither between Hikari and Yuu nor between Yami and Yuu.

That's the ideal outcome, which, looking at the history of what happens in this story, guarantees that it'll never happen.

 

[middle-the-nerd]

Eh, Yami's still in love with him & she kissed him & it didn't look like a goodbye closure kiss, so I totally think she'd go for Yuu if she had Hikari's blessing.

But I also agree w/ you about the guilt, pretty sure that's one of the reasons she was hiding from Yuu during the festival & never told Hikari about Yuu.

Honestly then to me feels like Yami had very little real character development if basically she causes the event that lead to Hikari and Yuu not being together (the kiss) is still friends with Hikari and also gets together with Yuu- she basically won by being a shitty friend

But you know maybe that WOULD be in character from her and i'm giving her too much credit lol

I think it’s easier to forgive someone you barely know than someone you’ve known for years—especially when strong feelings are involved. In cases like this, the sense of betrayal hits harder precisely because there’s history and emotional weight behind it.

Both Yuu and Yami hid the truth from Hikari, and as she said herself, she hates liars. Some might argue that withholding the truth isn’t the same as lying, but the end result is the same: both involve deception, both cause harm, and both break trust once discovered. And don’t even get me started on that nonsense about how Hikari isn’t “entitled” to know what happened between Yuu and Yami.

In an IRL scenario, Hikari would probably be done with both Yuu and Yami. But here, I think that through the power of friendship, both friendships will be preserved. I just don’t think there will be a romantic relationship—neither between Hikari and Yuu nor between Yami and Yuu.

Yes but it's also VERY dependent on Yuu's explanation and how he handles it especially since Yami initiated the kiss that parts not his fault he's only liable for lying about where he was which was shitty but we really need to know his POV to properly judge fully for all we know maybe Yami asked Yuu not tell Hikari about what happened knowing she fucked up or Yuu was worried Hikari would get the wrong idea there's definitely explanations that would be understandable why he didn't tell her (this isn't saying that he made the right choice just that we don't know enough)

Honestly I'm kinda 50/50 somehow I think everything will end it's all gonna come down to seeing his POV and there's some implications now he might of had genuine reasons outside of an initial lack of self confidence to think Hikari wouldn't be interested in him romantically that only intensified his worries

I don't think he's REALLY a bad person he's a teenager with confidence issues that feels like he's not good for the girl he's been in love with for 10 years I can possibly understand some of the choices he's making yeah he fucked up he knows this and acknowledges it but if he actuallys learns from everything mans tf up and just be fully honest with Hikari about all of his feelings and assuming he has an at least understandable reason why he didn't tell her what happened- I think Hikari could be understanding and willing to try and work through it with him

Or i'm completely fuckin off the ball and he really is just a piece of shit guess we'll have to find out in his POV lmao

Edit: hope that shit made sense I wrote it after taking sleeping pills

 

[HellJester]

My guess for Yuu's POV will be thus:

1. We'll see snippets of grade school and middle school Yuu & Hikari where Yuu is in love and Hikari is oblivious. Little things will happen with Yuu trying to get Hikari's attention and failing and will chip away at his confidence.

2. This will culminate in Yuu failing to get into Hikari's high school which is the straw that broke the camel's back. Yuu will be in peak despair and we'll see the Yuu/Yami romance chapters from his point of view. Part of it will be a bit of healing for Yuu as he experiences his first non-Hikari romance.

3. Next is Yami ghosting Yuu. The time period after Yami disappearing off the face of the earth will also be a period of healing for Yuu as he recovers from his first non-Hikari romance. This will also cause him to calm down a bit when he starts hanging out with Hikari again. It's this post-Yami period that caused Hikari to start noticing Yuu so we'll get a bit of growth from him. We'll get insight into exactly who Yuu meant about liking in Chapter 12 when he's talking to Kan (will it be Yami, will it be Hikari - it's probably Hikari but confirmation would be nice).

4. We'll get more insight into Yuu's state of mind as we progress through the Hikari chapters leading up to the school festival. Would love to have his POV during the Chapter 8 standing in the window for forever waiting for Hikari to shit or get off the pot. Would also love his POV during the meetup in Chapter 16 with their middle school classmates who thought Yuu and Hikari were dating.

5. Lastly, we'll get the full Yami & Yuu confrontation during the school festival. Exactly what was said, exactly what Yuu was feeling and hopefully that will be the last piece of puzzle we need to make a decision as to whether any or all of these kids are worthy of any sort of redemption.

 

[story645]

I just don’t think there will be a romantic relationship—neither between Hikari and Yuu nor between Yami and Yuu.

I just remembered that Aya was super TMI w/ her friends about her relationship w/ Yuu and like I'm wondering if the author drops that 'cause that's also a lot for Hikari to get over, especially given she's inexperienced.

Also I agree that there could be a no romance ending - fits well enough w/ the author wanting to write a tragedy if nobody gets a happy ending b/c they all got in their own way.

Honestly then to me feels like Yami had very little real character development if basically she causes the event that lead to Hikari and Yuu not being together (the kiss) is still friends with Hikari and also gets together with Yuu- she basically won by being a shitty friend

I think Yuu is more worthy of blame in this whole mess b/c of how long he's been hiding Aya from Hikari, but yes this would be a kinda nihilistic ending b/c it rewards Yami and Yuu's more self-destructive tendencies.

 

[mrclamp]

Well that was... fun

Honestly it actually somehow went a tad bit better than I expected but a few takeaways

I'm still waiting to fully judge Yuu until we see his pov (especially with the mention of his "heartbreak") and I'll give a TINY amount of credit he at least was self reflectiant enough to acknowledge he was shitty that day

I think Yuu x Yami is 99% not happening and I think Yami told Yuu how Hikari feels and I think he is genuine that he loves Hikari

Now- I know some people are probably gonna disagree with me about this but I don't think this is a situation that's completely unfixable (I mean it's completely fucked right now but imo not definitively permanent) at least if Yuu man's the fuck up

Also- funnily enough I could see Yami being a major part of mending Yuu and Hikari's relationship if that ends up happening

(Sorry this shit's super rambly I'll had to write it super quick)

I don't think there is a possibility of Yami mending things...I actually think Yami WILL be the one to mend things.

I am reserving judgement until we see things from Yuu's perspective, BUT if this takes the route that Yami kissed him of her own will and he did not want it then the kiss was just Yami falling back on old feelings/ending things properly.

Then after the flashback and back in the present Hikari will walk away not listening to Yuu because she can't at the moment. We will get a later time where Yami goes to talk to Hikari and Hikari wants nothing to do with it, but Yami won't give up...then Yami will tell Hikari everything, including how Yuu was always in love with Hikari, how Yami broke off the relationship by ghosting him, and everything else.

 

[middle-the-nerd]

I think Yuu is more worthy of blame in this whole mess b/c of how long he's been hiding Aya from Hikari, but yes this would be a kinda nihilistic ending b/c it rewards Yami and Yuu's more self-destructive tendencies.

Weren't they not really interacting much during the point him and Yami were together or am I miss remembering? (Tbh alot of the flashback us kind of a blur in my memory) if that's the case I'm willing to give him a bit of the benefit of the doubt since it's probably a very sensitive topic for him but I think we just have to see for now

 

[middle-the-nerd]

I don't think there is a possibility of Yami mending things...I actually think Yami WILL be the one to mend things.

I am reserving judgement until we see things from Yuu's perspective, BUT if this takes the route that Yami kissed him of her own will and he did not want it then the kiss was just Yami falling back on old feelings/ending things properly.

Then after the flashback and back in the present Hikari will walk away not listening to Yuu because she can't at the moment. We will get a later time where Yami goes to talk to Hikari and Hikari wants nothing to do with it, but Yami won't give up...then Yami will tell Hikari everything, including how Yuu was always in love with Hikari, how Yami broke off the relationship by ghosting him, and everything else.

Honestly I think it'd be really good character development for Yami if she did as much shit as I give her I do think she seems to have grown as a person by the present and unless this whole thing really does end up just being a pure angst fest permanently I think it'll be a mix of Yami taking the blame and apologizing to Hikari and Yuu finally being more open to Hikari (which I think he's already started to do this chapter) that could lead to them mending there relationship

Like i've said before they're in high school they're allowed to fuck up and not handle things the best as long as they learn from it and grow

 

[story645]

Weren't they not really interacting much during the point him and Yami were together or am I miss remembering?

I also thought they weren't but someone else pointed out that nope, in the novel they were still hanging out all the time.

then Yami will tell Hikari everything, including how Yuu was always in love with Hikari, how Yami broke off the relationship by ghosting him, and everything else.

I sorta agree that it might play out this way but I feel like in the real world "I thought he was in love w/ you but slept w/ him to make myself feel better but it didn't work out cause I ghosted and he was in love with you" would be burn it down infuriating.