Boku no Kokoro no Yabai Yatsu - Ch. 176 - I Won't Make the Same Mistake Again

[Buraindo]

this is a male character of the year in the making

 

[Demonaire]

Thx for the TL!
i thought kyou was a pretty smart kid, didn't he get top of his grade for the whole part of him doing the graduating speech thing? or maybe im just forgetting something. Or is it that the school he's aiming for is that hard to get into

In fact, as I said somewhere before, Kyotaro Ichikawa overestimates his own intelligence because of his family (Dad is a professor, Mom has a degree, his big sis is totally an achiever and the real genius). I'm not gonna sugarcoat it: he's a dunce but he lives lying himself believing he's smart. And yes, studying in a public school doesn't help either (which feels more humillating now that he knows that Moeko has the brains and the brawns despite being in his same school)

Maybe the great difference now is that he is aware of the current situation. He didn't have that opportunity before.

 

[Psychronia]

This trio is really quite good too.

Really, any friendship except that one immature pervert is great in this series.

Ichikawa is definitely the type to psyche himself out. Do your best, man.

 

[tseeker]

- Ichikawa ended up failing the exam, once again losing sight of his friends.
To cope with the frustration and compensate for his shortcomings, Ichikawa chose to pursue the path of a salary man, feeling a desperate need to at least bring an income to keep his and Yamada's relationship afloat.
A few months passed, then a year, and Yamada's work only seemed to increase in scope, time and also distance away from him.
The apartment they had bought together stood empty most nights getting home, and the other times she was fast asleep due to his late hours.
A couple more months passed. The routine staying the same, although steadily becoming more and more weary, until one late night when Ichikawa found a letter on their bed. It was branded with Yamada's agency and he read it slowly, then again, and again, and more times until he lost count. It was brief, polite and with false endearment a statement that suffocated the remaining hope and light within him.
The letter spoke of love, challenges, discomfort, and most importantly; The promising career offer to play a significant role in a movie overseas. No matter how many times he read it, hoping for the words to change form and meaning, the last part was like reality shattering all around him, yet he could not move nor think nor keep his eyes off the letter.
Yamada calmly stated what he had long feared, and now the situation was as real as the paper in his hands.
She had accepted the job and would, according to the letter, be away on this project for a year, but Ichikawa knew this was their last exchange.

Days passed, his cubicle at the office stayed empty. Days turned into weeks, still the situation was the same. He had never been much of a drinker but this was the perfect time to start, he'd thought. Memories of friends and time with Yamada, lost opportunities, racing imagination of what she was doing and who she was with. Thoughts about the present and the future tormented him day and night and the drink was little comfort.

A few months 'post letter', Ichikawa was a shell of his former self. He had difficulty separating thoughts from dreams from reality. Half consciously- half controlled by the alcohol and numbness within him, he scoured the cabinet for those old sleeping pills Yamada kept when her work had been at its harshest. Swallowing those that were left - his double vision making it hard to discern if there were 6 or 12 of them - he went to draw a hot bath. Lying down in the bathtub and feeling it's warmth embrace him gave some comfort. Thoughts, memories, wishes and dreams interchanged constantly, and in combination with the drugs and alcohol he was overcome with dreadful pleasure. He felt very sleepy. Feeling his heavy eyelids closing, a picture of Yamada's face flashed in his mind, giving him a subtle smile before welcoming the rest he so desperately sought.

The end.

(This is obviously a joke so don't crucify me please)

 

[w33btr4sh]

- Ichikawa ended up failing the exam, once again losing sight of his friends.
To cope with the frustration and compensate for his shortcomings, Ichikawa chose to pursue the path of a salary man, feeling a desperate need to at least bring an income to keep his and Yamada's relationship afloat.
A few months passed, then a year, and Yamada's work only seemed to increase in scope, time and also distance away from him.
The apartment they had bought together stood empty most nights getting home, and the other times she was fast asleep due to his late hours.
A couple more months passed. The routine staying the same, although steadily becoming more and more weary, until one late night when Ichikawa found a letter on their bed. It was branded with Yamada's agency and he read it slowly, then again, and again, and more times until he lost count. It was brief, polite and with false endearment a statement that suffocated the remaining hope and light within him.
The letter spoke of love, challenges, discomfort, and most importantly; The promising career offer to play a significant role in a movie overseas. No matter how many times he read it, hoping for the words to change form and meaning, the last part was like reality shattering all around him, yet he could not move nor think nor keep his eyes off the letter.
Yamada calmly stated what he had long feared, and now the situation was as real as the paper in his hands.
She had accepted the job and would, according to the letter, be away on this project for a year, but Ichikawa knew this was their last exchange.

Days passed, his cubicle at the office stayed empty. Days turned into weeks, still the situation was the same. He had never been much of a drinker but this was the perfect time to start, he'd thought. Memories of friends and time with Yamada, lost opportunities, racing imagination of what she was doing and who she was with. Thoughts about the present and the future tormented him day and night and the drink was little comfort.

A few months 'post letter', Ichikawa was a shell of his former self. He had difficulty separating thoughts from dreams from reality. Half consciously- half controlled by the alcohol and numbness within him, he scoured the cabinet for those old sleeping pills Yamada kept when her work had been at its harshest. Swallowing those that were left - his double vision making it hard to discern if there were 6 or 12 of them - he went to draw a hot bath. Lying down in the bathtub and feeling it's warmth embrace him gave some comfort. Thoughts, memories, wishes and dreams interchanged constantly, and in combination with the drugs and alcohol he was overcome with dreadful pleasure. He felt very sleepy. Feeling his heavy eyelids closing, a picture of Yamada's face flashed in his mind, giving him a subtle smile before welcoming the rest he so desperately sought.

The end.

(This is obviously a joke so don't crucify me please)

 

[henman]

Exam-taking in asia is crazy. I don't like this "a matter of life and death" athmosphere.
I'm here to see how Moeka will start dating Kinoshita-kun

 

[Sky_Ravager]

Good luck, Ichikawa!
Thanks for the chapter

 

[ItsThatBriGuy]

In fact, as I said somewhere before, Kyotaro Ichikawa overestimates his own intelligence because of his family (Dad is a professor, Mom has a degree, his big sis is totally an achiever and the real genius). I'm not gonna sugarcoat it: he's a dunce but he lives lying himself believing he's smart. And yes, studying in a public school doesn't help either (which feels more humillating now that he knows that Moeko has the brains and the brawns despite being in his same school)

Maybe the great difference now is that he is aware of the current situation. He didn't have that opportunity before.

Dude's been in the single digits in class ranking the entirety of this story. He was a top performer in elementary as well. The only time we see his academics stumble is that one entrance exam (and, slightly, on the cram school mock here; a "B" is hardly a death sentence, after all). And he's consistently topped Moeko's standing all along.

This is about a) the crippling pressure he put on himself back then and b) his lingering tendency to push away from the things he wants most. The support system that's been built around him in the past year-plus is helping him with both, but it's not perfect; he's now recognizing he needs a fundamental change in attitude to fully close the deal. "Nah, I'll win" is only a red flag in JJK.

 

[EdenMarino]

They tried to keep it light banter, but Ichikawa is still shaken lol. Understandable, but ganbare Kyotaro!! You got this boyo!!

 

[Snovember]

Dude's been in the single digits in class ranking the entirety of this story. He was a top performer in elementary as well. The only time we see his academics stumble is that one entrance exam (and, slightly, on the cram school mock here; a "B" is hardly a death sentence, after all). And he's consistently topped Moeko's standing all along.

This is about a) the crippling pressure he put on himself back then and b) his lingering tendency to push away from the things he wants most. The support system that's been built around him in the past year-plus is helping him with both, but it's not perfect; he's now recognizing he needs a fundamental change in attitude to fully close the deal. "Nah, I'll win" is only a red flag in JJK.

I think you have it right. Kyoutarou is quite good in class room exams, but the big exams are the ones that do him in and where he develops performance anxiety.

 

[micz7ryu]

Great chapter, focusing more on Ichikawa’s side in terms of struggles. Yamada’s struggles are harder for me to read since I hate the entertainment industry more than I hate studying for exams.

 

[VipChilo]

Great chapter, focusing more on Ichikawa’s side in terms of struggles. Yamada’s struggles are harder for me to read since I hate the entertainment industry more than I hate studying for exams.

That's facts. For me, Ichikawa has elevated himself to being a goated romcom MC since the very beginning because it is very well and consistently depicted how he has to deal with his struggles in his life and how he tries to overcome them. I can't really say the same for Yamada because her perspective is portrayed in a much more limited way compared to his. And no, Chapter titles from her POV with Watashi don't really do it, honestly XD. It's kinda hilarious that up to this point we still don't understand if she really views the entertainment industry a good spot to be in, unless I'm missing something. We only know that she can give it her all thanks to him but that's it. It's crazy that only the recent Kimi Oku wrap party gave us a little info on what she thinks about the idea of having to film certain scenes when it didn't cross her mind during the school trip arc. Like how do you realize this issue NOW?

What keeps me hooked on the story is Ichi for a long time, not Yamada. That's why I didn't mind reading the band drama much.

 

[nekotousan]

Moe is the most "chad" character in this manga istg